AIBU for not wanting to sleep in the garden

[Captaincarnoustie]

Sounds a bit obvious when you put it like that 🤣 but opinions welcome. Being intentionally vague on age genders etc as SIL is on Mumsnet.

YABU - suck it up and sleep in the damn tent
YANBU - the only thing I like to bring camping is a hotel room

We’re a mixed family but have been together a while (5years) and we have a big family get together coming up over Easter hols and it’s myself, partner, and a bio kid each, attending. Hosted by my partners parents.

Lots of family coming from a very drivable distance but we are not - at least 3h drive one way and it’s very rural so no airbnbs etc nearby we have always just stayed over at the hosts house and it’s been good.

we got told today that because “older family members are coming over and they want to drink and have to take priority” we have to set up a tent in the garden instead of having an actual bed, hot water etc. I’m thinking … nope 👎 That sounds like my personal definition of hell, and just no. I am just keen to make our polite excuses, however partner thinks we should still go.

I’ve suggested they go themselves but they think it would cause “drama and speculation” about our relationship if they go and I don’t (tbf it would) and offend them if we decline because they told us about this months ago.

AIBU?

Well… because we haven’t been invited to… it feels a bit rude to suggest it when clearly they actually just want us all to die of hypothermia instead 🤣

I would tell your DP he needs to cough up for a campervan to hire for the weekend- at least that would make it more of an adventure.

In the Scottish Highlands in this weather?

Agree that it’s not camping. It’s an endurance test.

Have you 'met' the countryside?
My parents live very rurally, there are two B&Bs within a five mile radius

Absolutely not.

Hotels are way cheaper than Air bnb. Are there any within 30 mins? I 100% would not go otherwise. Fuck that for a game of soldiers, it's March/April!

Does your partner have a very formal relationship with their parents? Because I don’t see why it would be awkward for them to talk about other options such as sleeping on the floor. It would be a light hearted negotiation in my family.

Why don't you drive to a hotel / air Bnb or
Why don't you just tell them the truth

Nope, I would be telling my partner its a hard no.

But there are accommodation options other than AirBnB....hotels, B&B, friends and family? Neighbours?

simple - aww no thanks, I don't do camping.

Never understood this concept of being rude to ask. It's your partners parents, surely he can speak openly to them?

Sorry but my hip plays up in freezing weather / wet ground / possible Easter snow - have a great time & see you next time !

It's definitely not rude to suggest air bed in the living room. Especially after they've un- invited you into their house. Surely DH can suggest that.

Nah mate. I don’t even camp in my own garden. DH does with the kids and I sleep in the house by myself.

Do a house swap with the relatives who are staying in the house, you said they live within driving distance but want to get hammered so their beds will be available?

Nope! Sod that, they clearly want to do a wide eyed 'we invited them and they didn't come!!'

I’ve developed some back problems in recent years so I would probably find camping a challenge ( although a blow-up mattress might be ok). I wouldn’t risk it though.

Perhaps you could suddenly develop back problems. Or get a horrible cold a couple of days before you’re due to leave. 😂

Tell the hosts you have issues with sleeping so 'unfortunately will not be able to come if the tent is the only option. But of course DH and the kids are made of tougher stuff so will be definitely up for it'. Then they will know it's kind of down to them you're not coming, rather than the fact your relationship is in the rocks. Incidentally people speculating on this sounds like nosy sods!
They may relent and offer you a couch, or you could buy an airbed and bring it and surely you can squeeze it in in the front room or something? The others can still sleep in the tent. They may well find it pretty fun. I know I wouldn't mind for a couple of nights.

Great idea!

I'd amend the message to say "... but I'm not up for overnighting in a tent at this time of year". (optional addition - "or at any time of year")

No need to lie, it is a very unreasonable ask and they should be told so. Othewise every future visit, you get the tent.

I was frozen in a 'glamping' tent, I use the word 'glamping' very generously, it wasn't glamorous at all. In the summer, still bloody freezing at night, never ever ever going to stay in a tent again. Just nope. So this would be an easy decision for me at Easter!

It can be an absolute nightmare finding accommodation in the Highlands if you don’t book well in advance, people who aren’t familiar with the area don’t appreciate this. And it can be bloody freezing in April. I don’t camp ever after too many awful family holidays shivering in a leaky tent. Put that foot down hard!

These twat in laws are happy for you to freeze to death in the garden but will be offended if you decline?

Even if they do offer the floor now please decline.

Partner can go with his dc. I bet PIL will magically find a space for them in the house 🙄

I’ve camped in Cornwall in early May and that got pretty unpleasantly chilly at night… Scotland in March/April?! No fucking way. What the hell are they thinking suggesting it? If they think it’s not a problem then they can camp and die of exposure and you can sleep in their room.

Camping is fine in summer and on a properly equipped camp site. In April it will be freezing cold and I'd not feel safe in someone's garden either.