To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

Where did she book the £500 Mexico holiday pls?

Oh and YABU.

You're a long time dead. Let's live life, if we can afford to. 👍

Good for her.

Life is about enjoyment. Spend spend spend I say (so long as you can afford it).

Carbon footprint! That plane will be taking off regardless if there is an extra person on it or not.

Maybe also speak to the billionaires who are swanning around in their private jets and super yachts.

Not to mention China and India who are spewing out mega tons of toxic waste into the air, rivers and seas.

It’s the right time for her to do it. It’s unlikely she’ll get another chance

The cost of property is such a barrier to entry that I can see why she might think it’s such an impossible goal that there’s no point.

People are talking about buying a house, but maybe a 1-bed flat or a studio is more reasonable. At least she’d be on the property ladder. Then maybe she could travel some as well.

I’ve never understood the obsession with travelling that some people have. To me it’s insane that people throw away so much money on a week here or a week there. You come home and the money is blown. Imagine if you bought an item of jewellery costing 500 pounds multiple times a year. People would say you’re crazy, but because it’s travel, it’s acceptable. I like a holiday occasionally, sure, but I also know people like your daughter - of all ages - who go on 4-6 holidays a year, and they’re not hugely wealthy, although doing OK. I think it’s thoroughly self-indulgent and, to me, the equivalent of throwing money on a bonfire. But I keep totally quiet about my feelings, as the things I spend my money on are things many wouldn’t.

So I can understand that it must be annoying for you to see her throwing her money away, but it’s her money to waste. I can tell you that a parent tutting at you when you’re an adult is not a good thing…the disapproval can really come between you. My parents were champion tutters. You could always suss out her feelings about home ownership. She might have a plan. She might feel so hopeless about attaining property ownership that she’s decided to make herself happy in the moment.

Could she buy with a friend? Or do a part-own scheme? Interest-only mortgage? But to let? There are many ways to get on the ladder. Personally, I see your daughter saving up for a couple of years, buying a studio or one-bed, and then getting back down to business - the business of travel!

It’s a divisive issue. For my family it’s an important one. I personally feel very strongly about individual responsibility when it comes to environmental issues. That’s for each individual to decide. I mentioned it because environmentally responsible travel is more important to me than the money spent I suppose.

Exactly!
You sound envious OP.

Sounds great. Mind your own business

It's not everyone's goal In life to buy a house. Maybe she wants to wait until she's in a relationship and share that goal with someone. Maybe she's happy renting and not bulked down with a mortgage. Maybe she just wants to enjoy life. I know 90% of people hear wish they could.

Maybe be happy for your daughter that she gets to experience these things whilst young that a lot of others can't.

Be happy she's confident and independent enough to do these things

Well done your DD!

Yes, you should tell her.

We live in a spend, spend, spend culture where splurging on 'experiences' is marketed as great and superior to spending on clothes or designer shoes.

But it's all consumerism and the corporations are still the big winners.

Financial education is not something that is taught in school and from the sounds of it, your daughter is just being swept up by the current trends.

So please tell her. Sit her down and explain things like an emergency fund, pensions, investments and savings.

After that, it's for her to take or leave your advice.

Oh for goodness sake. She is a grown-up woman with a good job, she doesn't need anyone to sit her down and lecture her about her own life and money. When I was that age I had zero interest in buying a house, I had a great job, a rented flat in London, and was having an absolute ball traveling and partying! In fact shock horror I didn't bother buying a house until well into my forties! I have a beautiful five-bedroom house with a pool (in Australia) and absolutely zero regrets about all the fun I've had along the way. The thought of scrimping throughout my twenties to buy a house in my hometown, well let's just say that wouldn't have been a life I would have wanted at all. Different people want different things, let your daughter have fun when she is young, it isn't so easy when you have mortgages and kids to tie you down.

She should be saving for a deposit. But, surely she can do both. Travelling is just the best thing. there seems to be a bit of jealousy on your part.

Unless it's your money or she's asked you for financial advice leave it alone.

Unless you've done a spectacularly useless job as a parent, she knows how money works.

She's making the choices that she wants to. The fact they aren't the choices you would make is tough shit.

Who says she should be? Maybe she doesn't want to buy a house. It isn't compulsory, or the only choice.

To be good with money and have some savings is sensible. @alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 what do you suggest is a better alternative. One of the frailties of renting is that you later have less security. Renting pays someone else's mortgage, so they end up owning the asset, not you. Whereas when you are post retirement you are less secure and don't own your house.

I don’t ever regret my twenties which were all about fun: travel, gigs, festivals and friends and nights out.

The difference between me and your daughter is I got into some debt as I was a very low earner. However that was all paid off properly no defaults or plans and in my late thirties I did buy a house when I finally settled with my lovely man. Also have a pension and savings too.

It’s much more expensive now to do anything as a young person so if your daughter can afford this I see no issues. We all follow our own life path and life can be tough as we age so let her enjoy this time, she will very likely be working another 35-40 years at least. Plenty time to be more sensible. It will come.

Are you jealous that she's living the life you wish you had and you're trying to piss on her chips?

Given her annual leave will average around 25 days in most companies and you estimate she's spending 20-30% of her wages, this sounds a little like the green eyed monster.

You want her to saddle herself with a huge financial responsibility in her 20's and chain herself to a lifetime of paying for it before she will get that 'freedom' back, maybe in her 50's. Hell I wish I had travelled more in my 20's when I had the money and energy to do so.

As long as she's not coming to you for handouts or complaining about not having money, she's an adult and is entitled to enjoy herself.

I wouldn't be making any suggestions to this grown-up woman unless she has asked for them, which she hasn't. I am sure she is well aware of her own choices. Buying a house, or saving for one is not the only option, I am sure you can think of a few others. Anyway, she is only in her twenties, maybe she will buy a house in her forties like me. Different people want different things when I was in my twenties I would have been horrified at the thought of being tied down with a mortgage.

I would say to go on holiday! But also to start saving 5% of her wages a month and put it into a high interest savings account. Just starting the habit now, with compound interest, has benefits.

It doesn't have to be either/ or

Good for her.

I don't own a house and never will. Many of us don't.