To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

Fwiw at your daughters age I owned a house with excellent equity. Had a husband. A child. A stable and responsible life. A year later I was renting a horrible flat, on benefits, fleeing a nan who became abusive and aggressive after I had a baby. Wish I'd spent my 20s living my best life instead. I wouldn't change DS for the world obviously. But I'd have spent my youth travelling rather than working for a future that was pointless.

his first flight was with 4 months to my hometown him and me on our own. Then we flew somewhere else to meet my partner for a few days together and then we flew back the 3 of us 😄 he’ll always have that little bit until he does a 3 flight travel (I’ve done a few of those , one the way somewhere having a stop over and direct on the way back)

Maybe she doesn't want to buy a house? Not everyone has the same life goals and it's not really anyone else's business. She has years to settle down if that's what she wants.

If she’s not getting into debt or asking/relying on you/others for money then really it’s none of your business and she can spend her money as she likes. Travelling whilst you’re young and relatively care-free is a good time to do it. I do get the concern about her financial future re renting/mortgage - you could have a non-judgemental chat about what her plans are for the future and maybe give some gentle advice if appropriate. It needs to be much more hands-off than your post though, which sounds very harsh with all the “should be”-s.

are you okay? Like seriously?

for starters it’s not your life it’s your daughters you don’t own it or get to rule what she does.

if I could sit on a beach every week I had off I would. I also wouldn’t expect my mum to stick her nose in.

if she wanted to save she would and she will one day but for now she is LIVING!

Travel is a brilliant thing to spend your money on when you're young! She has her whole life to be boring and tied down. Let her crack on.

She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl
She's a grown adult and can obviously afford it, so it's up to her what she spends her money on.
Nothing to do with you.

Somewhat jealous OP that your daughter is enjoying life and exploring the world yet you’re not?

Sounds like she is living her best life I’m sure when the time is right she will make a change to save. Let her follow her own choices.

I travelled a lot when I was in my 20s and early 30s. Always in good jobs. It was fantastic, and I'm so happy no-one ever tried to take it away from me. I now have two great kids, paid off my mortgage at 39, just before my second was born. Would absolutely despair to think that I "should have" bought a house sooner or sacrificed any of the travelling or exploring or living or experiencing I did.

I have to say that I would be talking to them about this - but then I have brought my kids up to talk about financial responsibility. Holidays are a great investment in your mental health but you need to put away some rainy day money and potentially house deposit money really. You may live in an area where buying a house is an impossibility for a young person on their own, in which case after you have paid your bills why not save for holidays and fun times. For me a bigger issue is the environmental aspect. 8 + holiday flights a year is a sizeable carbon footprint for an individual.

Not everyone wants to be a homeowner. I know that’s a concept that people on MN struggle to comprehend but it’s true. I’d also love to know what 26 year old sits around thinking about retirement age when they could die tomorrow. Life is for living, she’s living it and sounds like she’s having a damn good time

Travel really does broaden the mind.

Those who haven’t are easily spotted.

So do l..but I'm older and retired.. but I've done it all my life.. traveling is fantastic and l don't regret any of it.
Good for her.

I've travelled a lot. I've just done a huge road trip with DH. However, I never prioritised it to the point where I'd be screwed if there was a financial emergency, and I also made sure that I got on the housing ladder.

There is a sensible middle ground. Didn't all that travel teach you that?

My daughter was trying to put some savings away for a house (she Still lives at home). However it does look like it will take forever in the current economic climate and on the wage she is on a single person. Then my mum died and the whole family has had a wake up call that we need to enjoy life alongside more responsible decisions.

Good for her. You really are only young once. As long as in 5 years time she doesn’t start whinging about being unable to afford to buy a property, what’s the problem?

Getting on the housing ladder is way beyond an achievable goal for most young people. My children all have been successful but unless they inherit fairly soon ..hopefully not,I am encouraging them to go and see and explore the world.

I was so much happier in life when I was in my 20s and single and going on holidays. I didn’t save for a mortgage as I knew i wouldn’t be able to afford one on my own. I now have my own house and a family and i am exhausted and crave my previous life.

My brother managed to save to buy his own flat but literally had no life for his 20s in order to do so and I wish he had gone on more holidays.

Is it even realistic to buy a property by herself where she lives?

It's OK to think that but don't say it. She's an adult and unless you pay her bills it's not for you to say.

Good for her doing what makes her happy. She could be doing a lot worse with her well-earned money and this isn't something worth being concerned about imo, unless it were causing any detrimental effect let her do as she wishes

I would be really disappointed if my kids were settled down with a mortgage and a child or two by your daughter's age. I always feel a bit sorry for posters who say they married young and have kids themselves, but are paying x into a pension so they can live during their retirement.

Your daughter has time on her side. She's enjoying life, having a lot of exciting new experiences and paying her own way.

Leave her alone ! Traveling is something amazing , no other thing can substitute traveling . She has time to save if she earns a good wage . It’s not up to you to decide what her priorities are .

DH & I travelled a lot before kids. To be fair, we'd bought a small, cheap house too.

I was telling DH the other day if we hadn't travelled we'd have afforded to buy in a nicer area invested in property, which has skyrocketed (it was one or the other) and been in a very good financial position now. But, we are now sandwiched between SEN kids & elderly parents - one parent whom is unwell & relies on DH heavily - so can't go anywhere anyway.

I'm damn glad we did those trips when we could. Not sure we'll ever be able to travel again until we're too old to enjoy it.

There is nothing you can say, she will in her own time decide. If she is well paid it’s probably that she isn’t mature enough for the money she is earning. She will find a purpose one day and change. I would advise her to try holidays that are varied and active, not only beach. It might hasten her maturity.