To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

A 26h year old living independently by the sound of things, working hard, using her annual leave to travel… what a loser!
Im joking OP your daughter actually sounds amazing and fair play to her for enjoying her life and spending her money as she pleases.
I would stop judging her if I was you, house is not everything!! Would you be happier is she bought a house and just sat in it?

Well if your salary is really good, you can do both! Especially as the daughter's working FT, doesn't sound like she has a lot of A/L. Not sure if what OP thinks is a 'good salary' might have been 20 years ago and isn't really.

Up until 1.5 years ago a mortgage was cheaper than rent in most desirable areas. I had so much more free spending money after buying (with then partner, but I had enough on my own even without him anyway). I have friends who rented their property out and travelled, airBnb'ed it, all sorts.

I like my bed too much to travel lots althought I do at least 2 holidays a year, but love restaurant food. IL's complain we have too many takeaways and they sound like the OP! Unlike the OP however they don't know the extent of our very healthy savings.

I travelled and holidayed every chance I got in my 20s. Didn't save a penny. Every bit of cash and time I had went on getting away even if it was only a short trip to Europe. Now I'm middle aged and tied down by a mortgage and 2 kids (that I wouldn't give up for anything) I treasure those memories. I constantly feel the itch to get away but commitments keep me in one place so I am so glad I did it all when I had the chance.

I love your attitude and I hate when people pick apart posts but can you tell me how he was on an odd number of flights? Have you not come home or did you get two flights on one leg and only one flight on the other leg? How is it 47?

As for the op, your daughter will have responsibility and bills long enough, let her enjoy her youth.

I spent my 20s travelling too. Didn’t get my first “proper” job until 29. Now I’m mid 40s, with kids, a decent job and a manageable mortgage. No regrets!

Reverse?

You only get one life. The idea that the priority is to hoard all your resources into owning a pile of bricks is one point of view. But it is only one point of view, a middle-class, suburban one that knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Your way is not the only way.

I also agree. It’s definitely not OPs business to comment on her choices and it’s her money, her decision.
That said, I am so glad I saved for a house as lots of people my age now cannot afford them and where I live, renting is almost double the cost of mortgage repayments. Holidays are wonderful but when you consider how much time you actually spend at home to how much time you spend on holiday it was a no brainer to me to spend money on where I spend the majority of my time.

At 26 though OP is right to have a few concerns why does she have to throw majority of her money on travel instead dod I dunno 6 holidya why not just 4 a d save at the same time.

As we have seem so many times on here suddenly the thirties hit and people complain why they can't afford a house, children and then retirement yet everyone is so stuck with this archaic view of just spend all your w0s partying, travelling and worry about it later.

It's like noone can be sensible and do both, travel and save 🙄

This makes me feel absolutely suffocated and conjures up the sort of fifty at twenty people who have want nothing more than to spend every weekend with their parents, live round the corner and start having babies at 25. But that could be massively unfair. Much as it's unfair to judge OP's daughter as a flibbertigibbet spendthrift.

FWIW, I pissed away all my money in my twenties, paid no attention to my career until my thirties, didn't buy a flat until I was 40 and now earn £100k and live in a 4 bed detached so.....you never know. And there is nothing better than seeing the world.

£500 for Mexico is so cheap, let me go and book for myself !

You’re being completely unreasonable! Leave her alone 😂.

No she doesn't. She sounds concerned.

I'd suggest thinking in terms of long term outcomes for both your daughters future and your shared relationship.

E.g. she may resent you blocking her from taking holidays once she has children and can't.

A healthy compromise could be to suggest she starts saving 5 or 10% of her income and offer to maybe match this with some sort of reward or favour when she reaches a savings goal.

And/or to offer to come on a holiday with her - may as the reward/favour once she hits a savings goal.

If this feels too twee, maybe setting it up as a bet could be more fun?

I regret a lot of the money I spent on crap when I was in my twenties and thirties (I would get hooked on collecting things and spend a fortune), but I don't regret a penny spent on seeing the world.

Let her enjoy her holidays while she can. In ten years time with a mortgage and three kids she will enjoy having the memories.

That £500 single holiday will soon turn into a family of 2 adults and 3 kids costing £3,000!

Best see the world single before the kids arrive.

I would love to be that independent again.

Mind your own business.

There's a fine line as a parent between guidance and being seen as criticising and interfering. In your shoes I think I would gently steer her towards thinking about buying a home and pointing out how much money that will save her in the longer term, while not actively criticising the holiday spending. You could sell it to her that she could rent out the property while she travels to offset some of her holiday costs.

Completely wrong I'm afraid! They don't have children at the moment, have full lives, great careers, socialise and have holidays and experiences, but with the security of a house and excellent pension behind them. We are a close family but they don't live round the corner nor do I see them every weekend.

Being sensible with money doesn't mean you can't also enjoy a great lifestyle, the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Bit jealous to be honest. I spent my late twenties saving for a house, now im skint and unfortunately got cancer at 29 and view life completely differently. It's way too short, let the girl live. My parents are very risk averse and I find it frustrating these days.

Are you subsidising her lifestyle in any way? No? Not your business then .

Good for her.

She’ll have some fantastic memories.

She's enjoying her life, when she meets someone they can get a mortgage together.

Well she sounds a bit miserable and small minded, she may well also be concerned, but I think she’d express herself differently if it were just that.

stopovers and tours. Flights aren't just out and back