To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

This thread is depressing in that it reflects our current society's obsession with spending on constantly having a good time and miseducation about saving.

When I was young I brought a house on my own X3 of my salary:

Since them I married and me and DH brought a house less than X3 joint salaries.

The young now have to save 10% deposit so £36K plus moving costs, increase %rate which will only go up - they can afford to hop on the ladder or move up it. New builds are getting smaller and smaller to be ‘affordable’

If they end up old aged with no property - they government will pay for their care.

Debts are passed on that die with the person.

You can’t blame them for living to the current climate - they are adjusting -

Spending £2,000 a year on trips isn’t going to put a dent in a housing deposit:

Wr were luckily - my kids will still be at home at 30 years old because they can’t afford to move out - why is this mess their problem?

You’re assuming everyone is in London/South East. My DS bought a 3 bed house with a garden for £200K. OP says her DD is spending 20-30% of her salary on holidays, so £5-10K a year? A deposit on a starter home could be saved in 4 years at £5K a year in most of the country. Of course it’s not easy, but nor is it impossible.

She's 26, ffs. Mind your own business. It's absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with you.

@Scarletttulips I'm a millennial in my 30s, so I'm not looking down on the younger generation and giving outdated advice. I'm looking at my generation and Gen Z's.

Fully aware previous generations had it much easier than us. This doesn't give us an excuse to not try.

I'm not saying every young person can afford to buy a home. It might be impossible for those on low incomes. But the OPs daughter earns well and is spending thousands of £ a year on holidays. This is a young person who could save a deposit if she wanted to. Yes, she wouldn't have it in one or even two years, but she could make a five to ten year plan.

My sister is younger than the OPs daughter and we've done just that. She'll still be able to go on holiday once a year but conscientiously saving will mean she'll have a deposit before she's 30. I only wish I'd had someone do this for me in my 20s.

I doubt 20-30 % of the OPs daughter's income is £2000 if she earns well.

Exactly this. Even outskirts of London and South East will be doable for my sister in 5-6 years if she sticks to her plan. It will be a flat not a house, but she'll be going into her 30s with her foot on the ladder.

I'm not saying this is great. My generation have it tough and Gen Z's have it tougher. But that doesn't give us an excuse to constantly give in to instant gratification with the attitude of 'oh well, it's too hard to try'.

It’ll be interesting in four year’s time when op’s daughter hits thirty to see her situation then. Will she regret all the holidays, or at least regret not beginning to save? Even having one fewer holiday a year, and saving a thousand pounds each time, will mean she’ll have a few thousand pounds to put towards a deposit, car etc.

If they end up old aged with no property - they government will pay for their care@Scarletttulips

I would think that's even more reason to save......... In future, I fear that -

assisted dying will be introduced
people who can afford it will pay for quality care when they are frail and elderly
people who can't afford it - some - by no means all - will be deemed to have such poor quality of life that assisted dying is the best solution for them

It terrifies me and I don't think it's hyperbole

I sense a lot of jealousy on this thread.

Who is to say the daughter will even want kids or all of these things?

My own mum died young. You can enjoy the moment and still prepare for the future.

So many people amass things for a future than never comes.

lolz! leave her alone - I am like this I need to have trips to look forward to and chose to spend most of my spare money on travel! I'm mid 30s now did actually manage to buy a flat eventually 2 years ago - just took me a few years longer to save than it would have if I didn't travel so much !

I have a 3 year old and a baby on the way and I haven't changed at all - we are away all the time - 3 year olds been on i think 40 trips so far in her little life and we are spending 6 months of my next maternity leave travelling too!!

life is for living and this is how some people want to spend their money !

Given that you're not paying for them, it's nothing to do with you.

Those judging the daughter to be irresponsible don’t actually know that she is not saving just because she has holidays doesn’t mean she isn’t saving too or paying towards a pension. Plenty of people older can’t afford either (or mortgages or holidays) Also op hasn’t come back so……

Also I never regretted spending and living life in my twenties! I still paid into my NHS pension from 26. I didn’t save much ( low earner) but I have a house and ok savings now. Life is a balance. Also with wars, climate change and the worries of life we should be encouraging young people to have some enjoyment on whatever they choose!

Is this a joke @Salltee ? She’s 26. Unless you are supporting her financially by letting her live at home without ‘paying her way’, it’s none of your business! Even then, you are only in a position to insist she pays her way. Other than that, they in which she spends her money is her own affair. I understand your concerns, but it’s just not up to you to decide.

I think someone's jealous!

She’s 26 - not really any of your business as she’s an adult earning her own money. Sure - you can suggest but & guide but that’s it! Way too controlling!!

Do you discuss finances with your daughter? Do you know that she isn't saving/investing as well as spending money on travelling?
Renting is not always a bad option as it can save money on maintaining, buying/selling costs, etc.
A lot of people would choose to spend their disposable income on travel and a lot of people eho retire early do the same thing but time, good health and old age is not guaranteed.
I think a sensible mix of making sure all bills are paid, saving/investing and enjoying life is the best combination.

Is this for real???

She's 26 - she can spend her hard earned money however she wants!

Life is for living and that is exactly what she’s doing. It’s none of your business whatsoever. She’s an adult. Wind your neck in.

I think you are being unreasonable

she should travel the world and enjoy life, she can buy a house when she is ready to actually be in it instead of travelling

as long as she is not running up debts and creating bad credit… she can still pursue a house purchase later down the line

You sound jealous. Let her live her life you miserable soul.

Good on her!! Sounds like what I was like in my 20s. Had a whale of a time. You're a long time dead, let her do what she wants with her money.

You can’t make memories paying a mortgage, or not ones like she can make travelling. Actually sounds like she’s a very mature 26 year old and you should be happy and proud. I rented till I was in my 30s it’s not something to be judged.

I'm so happy for her

Is this a joke one?? Jesus Christ leave her alone. Seems like you're jealous of your daughter 😂

I think your daughter sounds blooming marvellous! I wish.looking back I had lived like that,had adventures and seen the world.Good on her I say.