To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

YANBU to want your DD to be financially stable.
Talk to her and offer advice.

I wish I had been taught about finance when I was younger. I spent faster than I earned and it's something I still struggle with now.

Some people are not good at saving and don't think of the future.

Everything I got my P60, it was a shock to see the money that had gone through my fingers woth nothing to show for it.

It's possible to enjoy your youth and still save.

My brother is more financially savvy and although we had similar life experiences travelling together, he was also saving whilst I didn't.

My parents weren't financially savvy but if you are, it's great to pass on good advice to her.

How funny most comments say its none of uiur business......... how can a mother watch her dd fritter her money away and not be concerned!

Especially when a lot of threads on here are about women being stuck in bad marriages because they can't financially afford to leave.

Being sensible with money doesn't mean she stops having fun.

I'm jealous, wish I had done that in my 20s!! Leave her alone, kindly.

People do make me laugh… I’m very financially stable, own properties and go on fantastic holidays. I’m always told I’m “lucky” on mumsnet when I say young people won’t save and they want the lifestyle etc. erm no. I saved through my younger years and denied myself travelling and frittering money then for the greater good to get myself in the position I am today.

See can do what she wants, but I wouldn’t tolerate and bleating about how she’s cannot afford a house etc in the future.

one holiday a year yes, everyone needs a break/balance but this seems excessive.

I don't earn enough as a single person to ever own, nothing to do with saving. House prices are ridiculous. I can't afford more than £500 a month which is what my rent costs.

She is really young and has one life. Give it a rest. You sound deeply jealous by the way. Don’t snip her wings!

Leave her alone, it is her money and she can do what she wants with it.

Salltee sounding mighty salty.

Does she live with you? Or ask you to contribute to her trips? If not then it's none of your business. If yes then I you can discuss her priorities with her.

This post has given me a wakeup call. I'm 25 and not been on holiday since I was 19. Most of my money ends up in savings. I might not even want to buy a house or have kids.

Mind your own business!

How do you know what she earns and what she is saving?

Has she told you the details of her financial situation?

I stopped telling my parents anything about my position after my mother kept on telling me my mortgage was too much. It used to get on my nerves.

Having said that I have always saved a percentage of my monthly salary since I started working in my 20s. I'm now in a v good position in my 50s.

If she isn't saving anything at all then she is short-sighted.

She’s an adult!

I understand your concern, life is very expensive now but you can’t tell a 26 yr old what to do. I wish my eldest son would stop spending his money and save. One of my biggest regrets in life is not saving when I was in my twenties. Yes I had holidays abroad etc but to be honest I wished I’d just put it towards a deposit when properties were much cheaper. You can have a holiday anytime but you can’t buy a house anytime.

Sounds like a dream for her but it's a bit of a disaster environmentally. I'd gently encourage her to take fewer flights and look for holiday options closer to home

I was your daughter at that age. Travelled at lot. Loved it.

I'm 35 now, and I have a DS (2 yo) and a house, but money is a lot tighter. I did manage to save enough for the deposit despite my travelling habits, but we would've been able to get a cheaper loan and more manageable mortgage and actually afford some travelling now, if I had been more frugal when I was younger. Would've made things a lot easier, and it's been a struggle letting go of my previous lifestyle.

I still regret nothing. I had some amazing and hugely character building experiences, and I wouldn't trade them for more ease and stability now.

I wouldn't judge your daughter too harshly. She's a grown-up and it's her money. She might never come to regret her choices, either.

Good on her, perhaps she doesn't want to be tied down to a massively overpriced mortgage in a country that's turning to shit! Perhaps it's not her priority in life to be a homeowner, it is not mandatory. As a country we place so much importance on owning a home as a key milestone for having succeeded in life, it is a very British thing!

Twenties are for enjoying yourself, not being tied down to a spouse/kids/mortgage. I went travelling at around 26, plenty of holidays, enjoyed my twenties as much as possible even though I was crap at saving and often overdrawn. Guess what, I'm now in my early 30's and a home owner. She is now an adult and will find her own way.

It's not just all about a mortgage, saving for rainy day if u lose ur job in another financial crash, saving for a retirement cos if u fall ill early u need back up money if unfind u csnt work to retirement age. Saving money if u want to have kids.

Noone is saying don't go on holiday and don't live your life and have every penny you have more that maybe she should balance it more

Maybe that won’t matter if the daughter decides to go and live her life on a commune in the outer Hebrides though. The point is that everyone is assuming the daughter wants to buy a house, settle down, get married, have kids and work until retirement… this might be the furthest thing from her plans. Who knows?

This is the absolute best way to spend your 20s tbh. You're young once.

It's none of your business OP and you should not be expressing opinions on what she spends unless you are paying. I say that as a person with adult dc myself.

YOU like to save; she doesn't. Different people.

This thread is depressing in that it reflects our current society's obsession with spending on constantly having a good time and miseducation about saving.

Suggesting that a mum should not advise her young, adult daughter on financial matters. Suggesting this girl can spend absolute bank on holidays each year yet it would somehow be impossible to save for a house in the next 5-10 years. Saying 'you only live once', as if she's expected to die imminently, so why invest in her financial future?

Many of us will have to work until we are very old, stooped over and grey. Many of us will die in debt which we will pass on to our kids. Many of us will rely on our kids to financially support us in old age, thus taking away from them and our grandkids.

This thread demonstrates why.

Absolutely this.

Our children probably won’t get a state pension. They will work until they die without a decent workplace/private pension. I can’t understand why blowing all your income and not making plans for the future is so encouraged.

An interesting statistic: A person who pays a set amount into a pension between the ages of 21 and 30, and then pays nothing for the rest of their life can retire with a bigger pension pot than a person who starts paying the same amount at 30 and continues to pay until the day they retire. Early contributions are absolutely crucial.

I’d much rather my DCs had the chance to retire in their 50s than pull their tripes out till the day they die. Their happy holiday memories won’t keep them housed and fed in their old age. Making them aware of this isn’t jealousy, it’s wanting what’s best for them.

I respect it's her choice but I'd worry too OP

Yes it's fun to travel, enjoy holidays etc but if you want financial stability, you need to be responsible too

Good for her I wish I had ,had more holidays when I was her age and able to afford it.