To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

Good for her , I encourage my adult children to travel as much as possible .

Jesus, I didn’t realise that encouraging financial responsibility in your children was so frowned upon!

OP, I’m sure you realise that it’s her life and you should let her live it. But that doesn’t make you evil for worrying that she’s risking her fiscal future, it’s natural. Some of the replies are horrible!

I have a 26 year old DD too. She's off to NY, Copenhagen, Oslo and Portugal this year. I'd love to have travelled as extensively as she has already in my 20s. It's your DD's life and her choice how to spend her money and not really any of your business.

Good for her - why buy a house when she wants to travel and not actually be at home that much!

I had cancer a few years ago and couldn't get a mortgage as I was classed as a financial risk. The experience of going through that illness also changed my perspective on life - I literally don't care if I don't own a house - I'd rather have more experiences with my kids and family.

I don't think there's anything wrong with owning a home, but everyone has different priorities and that's ok, too. She wants to go on holiday - that's her priority and in the nicest way, not really anything to do with you as she's an adult.

Maybe she doesn’t want to buy a house. It’s not the goal for everyone. Leave her alone.

Maybe if you'd spent the child benefit differently, you'd have enough to help her with a deposit? Oh no, we'll just question her spending 🙄

Good on her, I bitterly regret not doing the same.

And to be honest, when she does decide to settle down and buy, better to have a big salary with a few years' saving than a poor salary with a decade of scrimping.

Sounds great, wish I’d done more travelling when younger and will be encouraging my children to take those opportunities. Maybe she has other plans for a house in the future?

Unless I was complaining about being broke, I wouldn’t take kindly to my mum commenting on how I spent my money as an adult, it’s none of her business.

And hopefully the OP's money will be hers. the OP's if the daughter runs into financial difficulties she can't manage. Or will the OP be expected to bail her out?

I want to be her when I grow up (I am forty)

None of your bloody business. Be careful this judgemental attitude towards your daughter doesn’t bite you in the arse in future.

Carbon footprint? Are you serious?

She should be saving the money instead. - ah - there is the should.

Who says? Her life - her money which she earns - good for her. We are a long time being old and a long time dead. Carpe diem!

Let me give you an alternative view. My DD is a year younger, has always been very strict with herself about building up her savings. She has almost enough for a deposit on a house but is really unlikely to get a job in that will afford her a mortgage. (she's currently single).

In the last six months it has dawned on her that she has missed out. She has been on some holidays with friends but one a year at most and quite modest ones.

She is now planning to go to an East Asian country for a year, she's already booked 2 European holidays in the meantime and quite frankly, I've never seen her this happy. It's like she's freed herself from some self imposed burden to save every penny.

(She won't use up all her savings as she'll be working for the year).

My daughter is nearly 24, she has 3 holidays booked this year, plus lots of other events booked too. I'm so pleased for her, she works really hard for her money.
She also rents but is saving for a deposit

More power to her. I can't think of a worse age to buy a property even if money was plentiful. The majority of people who buy in their twenties become very limited with their finances, unless they buy something very small and cheap. What is she supposed to do, buy a house she can then sit in and do nothing? Life is for living.

Good on her!
I'd be proud of my child for getting out there and seeing the world ... and being able to afford to do it.

YABVU.

you sound like my parents. Think they got happy when I bought the house cuz they thought I’d stop traveling as much. It didn’t happen. I did a small wedding cuz I wanted to spend more on my honeymoon than on a wedding. Then I got a pregnant and had a child. They thought maybe we’d travel less. My son is not 6 and has been on 47 airplanes and traveling to Asia for the first time.
ahe might not want a mortgage. She might be happy renting and it’s fine as long as you’re not paying her bills. If she looses her job I’m sure one way or another they’ll find a job. She’s not your little girl anymore. She can take decisions for herself

Why do you assume she's going to run into financial difficulties? The OP hasn't made any suggestion that her DD is living beyond her means.

Good for her, wish I had done that in my twenties, think of all the experiences she is having, all the memories she is making, all the fun she is having. It is her money, her life and her choice.

I tell all my younger colleagues to travel whilst they aren't tied down with kids it's cheaper going alone rather than as a family and you don't have to go in the expensive school holidays. You can go to what you want to rather than what pleases kids (art galleries? Shinto temples?). Plus you can rough it a bit more. Later in life you feel out of place in hostels. Seeing the world is worthwhile.

Buying a house and being a wage slave drudge comes eventually.

Good for her 😎

She's an adult.

It's none of your business!

When i was 26 i already have a house, a car, very good career and i worked my ass off. Now i am 36, a mum, a wife, have a comfortable life but i really wish i’m not working that hard and enjoyed my youth. I wish i do more travel and see the world. Its different travelling when you are young then with family. Let her be for now.

Unless she's asking for you to pay for stuff for her, YABVU. It's her life. You can give advice but ultimately she can spend her money however she wants. If she regrets not saving up to buy later in life that's her problem. But she might not. She might be happy renting long term. She might decide to find a job where she can travel full time and not have a permanent home in the UK at all. She might marry a millionaire. You don't know and it's up to her to make those decisions. I don't think I've ever heard someone say they regret spending on travel.