To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

She is living her life. Good for her.

She isn't living it how you think she should but that's absolutely your problem, not hers.

life is for living. & you can’t take your money with you, so good for her living her life exactly how she wants to. as you said she works hard for her wage and she’s earned the right to enjoy her money as she wants. Don’t you wish you seen more of the world, learning different cultures, meeting different people from around the world, absorbing what you can’t learn at school or in a 9-5 saving for a bloody mortgage.

She sounds like she’s got her head screwed on. She’s working hard and being responsible considering her future, presuming she’s paying into a pension fund through her work. I don’t think you should be worried she’s doing the most with her life and her 20’s than tying herself down to a high interest mortgage on some bricks in the shitty UK.

Wish I could have afforded to travel more in my twenties. Good on her.

I agree. As someone who also lived like the OP daughter. I holidayed, had new cars, salon treatments, clothes, partied.

I did wise up as friends began to settle, buy homes, get married and have children. Luckily I didn’t want those things until well over a decade later.

I also managed to be in the right place at the right time work wise, had many promotions and quickly.

I’d have a constructive convo, ultimately it’s up to her of course. She will likely regret it at some point imo. Don’t say, “you have too many hokidays”, makes you sound like a fun sponge!

You sound like my mum. When I was made redundant a few years ago the first thing she said was “Well, you won’t be able to have your nails done now.” Told her my then DP (now DH) would pay. It’s sod all to do with anyone else what folk do with their own (or family) money.

I spent all my money on holidays at that age too. I now own a large 4 bed detached house, have 3 young children and have a decent amount of savings. If my parents had tried to tell me what to spend my own money on at that age I’d have just smiled politely and carried on going on holiday.

It's a generational thing.

That generation place much more importance on work/life balance which I think is a good thing.

Also, is she ever really going to be able to buy a house anyway, the way things are now?

There are worse things to be addicted to than holidays!

YABVU. If she can afford it then good for her.

Same! Really wish l had visited more places

I'd be of the same opinion as you OP. It would be better if she saved now for a deposit and mortgage, then she can spend money on holidays when she's sorted that out, the different countries are not going anywhere.

My son and his now wife saved for a deposit and put extra money in pensions more or less from starting work after university. They had weekends away and an annual reasonably priced holiday but saving meant they could buy at 25 and now at 30 they have a large 4 bed house in a desirable area, pay extra into pensions so they can retire at 50 and now have more expensive holidays and trips.

Maybe suggest to your daughter that there's a happy medium between spending and saving for the future. I find it strange how many people on here seemingly never speak to their adult children about sensible financial management.

Sounds amazing.

She's got a very small chance of owning her own home right now. Plus it's none of OP's business

Maybe she wants the holidays now, not in 15 years? Maybe she has no interest in home ownership? We don’t all have to follow exactly the same path in life, there is more than one way to live.
I’m glad I travelled a lot in my 20s as now I have a disabled child and we can’t travel at all. That’s not going to change for a long time.

I would absolutely rather go on holiday to be honest.
Owning a house isn't everything it's cracked up to be

Good for her!

Sounds like she pays for her holidays through her own hard work? That's great. Also fabulous that she is doing it without maxing out credit cards or with money she doesn't have.

She is 26, let her be young.

When I read this post I actually thought it was a joke or you were my own more re-incarnated.

So in summary, your daughter earns good money and works hard and uses her annual leave to go on holiday. Personally, I think sitting on a beach is a bit different to exploring the world but she is using her money to enjoy her time off from work and that's her business.

When I was your daughter's age I would mention to my mother that I was going on holiday literally hours before I was leaving because she was very similar to you and actually her attitude of judging how I lived my life permeated into all aspects. I found I rarely told her about anything to do with my life. Don't be that mother

I can see you want the best for your dd. But the truth is the money she could save would probably be a drop in the ocean in terms of saving for a deposit. It's very possible her focus will change in a few years anyway.

You actually sound horribly jealous of her.

Leave her be. I have a 21 yo so presume you're gen x like me. Life for them is nothing like it was for us. Let her explore

As long as she wasn't living with me or likely to be expecting me to drop everything to do childcare/listen to her whining about the cost of childcare in 10 years time, I'd let her get on with it.

@GetWhatYouWant

I'd be of the same opinion as you OP. It would be better if she saved now for a deposit and mortgage, then she can spend money on holidays when she's sorted that out,

Why would it be better? Better for who? Maybe she doesn't want to buy a house?

I'm an advocate for this actually if she's working hard and earning her own money, far happier life than the alternative of saving and pouring her finances into 'stability'. You never know what's round the corner and all that.

Leave her alone to live her life. She earns her money so gets to choose how she spends it. If you bring it up you will spoil her holidays for her. She has years ahead of her to save for a deposit.

YABU. We don’t know how long we have left.

Also she won’t be laid in her bed in her 70s wishing she’d not gone on her holidays and bought herself a house instead.

House buying isn’t a priority anymore.

Good for her!!! When I was her age I was about half way through my 3rd extended trip travelling. I’d work for 6 months. Travel for 6 months and repeat. Don’t regret a single second of it. There’s more to life than buying a house and working until you die