To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

Nothing wrong with travelling a lot in your twenties. The market is shocking for buying at the moment anyway.

A good friend’s son spent all of his 20’s travelling. 6m travel/6m working in the Uk to save the money. Only stopped with lockdowns. Is now renting somewhere for a year whilst waiting for the housing market to settle - and looking fwd to buying a place next year with his best mate. He’s 32. Happy and doing well in his job.

I’d let your DD find her own way, esp as you say she is such a hard worker.

Sometimes I wish I had have been more sensible in my twenties and saved money as I would have been in a much better position now. However then I remember how bloody amazing they were and what a fantastic time I had!

She's an adult and can do what she wants. I'm 48 and still prioritise travel. Good for her.

I have a feeling you won't be back op.

YABVU - It’s her choice how to spend her money as long as you are not propping her up financially. I travelled a lot when I was younger and don’t regret it yet (although I suppose I may one day).

If your daughter was off on holiday every month, I’d say it was a wonderful addiction. But her holiday’s 9 months away. Travelling’s something everyone should do, be happy for her. She’s too young for all that bollocks, let her enjoy her life.

Life's too short and maybe she wants to have experiences before she gets tied down.
I wish I had done what she's doing!!

Life's short, let her enjoy it.

This is 100% a reverse.

What the hell has it to do with you how she spends her money?

When she mentions her holidays, maybe just remind her that she needs to start saving up for a house at some point, without actually saying that she goes on too many holidays. She's an adult and she can do what she wants with her money,but as a parent it doesnt harm to put things in perspective, and offer some gentle advise. If she takes your advise ,good for her, if she doesn't, well, you live, you learn

Good for her!

Not your money - Not your business

Maybe she doesn't want to buy a house; not everybody wants to buy a house.

You say you reckon she spends - which means you don't actually have any insight into her finances and even if you did - she's an adult - so she can spend / save as much or as little as she wants too.

You sound jealous.
Are you jealous?

I agree. While it's none of the OP's business if daughter is funding herself (and OP shouldn't let her move back home either if she hasn't saved to fund a job loss for example)... the attitude towards, erm, 'travel' is very different to takeaways or luxury goods.
People see the former as superior, the latter as mindless consumption.
They're all the same to me.

Especially if you're just going to these places to lie on a beach. It doesn't make you more worldly/open-minded/resilient whatever.

Kudos to your daughter.

I had a baby at 23, but if I hadn't I would have went travelling and maybe spent some time living abroad also.

My ex MIL used to whine about the same thing to me. I had some amazing holidays and dont have much to show for my 20s. I am 30 and nowhere near being a homeowner.

I did look into seriously saving and buying a home but the deposits, house prices and mortgage rates are crazy. Even if I had a deposit, I wouldnt bother. Instead I have booked the most holidays I have had in a year since pre covid!

And it feels great.

On the contrast, I have friends who are home owners and really feeling the pinch. They are super stressed, in mountains of debt for the sake of saying they "own their home".

My mum hasn't said a word to me either.

Not everyone wants a house. Brits are obsessed with property! Let her enjoy life. Presumably, It's her money, so let her decide how she uses it.

Yeah, it's important that OP's daughter sits at home for the next two years so that Taylor Swift can do another 15 min priave jet ride.

I spent much of my 20s travelling, most of my money went on holidays…I loved it! I’m 38 now, married, 2 small children and a large mortgage. I don’t regret my decisions one bit. She has plenty of time for house buying in the future.

If she’s earning enough that she’s able to rent AND still afford to spend 20-30% of her salary of holidays then she’s doing amazingly well! Good on her.

This completely.
OP, have a real look at mortgage affordability, we tend to put our own life experiences on others, but mortgages are completely different experience now.

Jealous much???

Let her live. She obviously earns her own money and lives independently it’s up to her how she spends it. Good for her and hope she enjoys her next trip.

I was the hard working person in my 20s I can’t believe by the age of 28 I’d saved over £70k as a deposit for a house and spend £20k on my wedding too in the same year!

However my friends travelled and did amazing things I missed out! I wish I’d used some of that hard earned cash to travel.

one thing I also regret I was offered a post in Canada by my company and then a post in Dubai and then a post in Oz!! I turned them all down!! Maybe your DD could move abroad? Somewhere like Australia? That may quench her thirst for travel a bit?

Well yes. But it is hard then to hear her and others like her- complain how hard this generation has it, etc. As long as she doesn't come complaining and asking parents to sacrifice their savings and own very hard won holidays, at last ... to pay for her deposit when she needs one. OK.

Some people are just wired this way. We get restless and want to move around, see more, do more. Most of us have commitments that tie us to one place, so we need to break away occasionally to get our fix. If you're not like this OP, you won't understand how miserable life gets if you can't go. The pandemic was torture.

Let her travel and see the world
My dd would have my full support she’s 19 and I know she has started saving to go to Greece for a month in the summer and I’m excited for her.
She has plenty of time to commit to buying a house let her have adventures while she can.