To tell my daughter she goes on too many holidays?

[Salltee]

I have a daughter, aged 26. She has an addiction to holidays abroad. She spends every moment of her annual leave on a beach in a foreign land.

She should be saving the money instead. She rents and doesn’t have a huge amount of savings. She earns a lot of money for her age and does work hard to be fair to the girl.

But it’s hard to see her rentin, when she could save for a deposit on a house.

She’s just told me she’s booked flights again for £500 to go to mexico for a week in December. Heaven forbid another holiday. I reckon she probably spends about 20-30% of her income on holidays.

Good for her ! She is only young and single once ( hopefully )
She has the rest of her life to save / get a deposit / buy somewhere.

Maybe she will buy somewhere one day, maybe with someone.
Maybe she will have children, maybe she won't.

But now is the right time to enjoy herself, and if she enjoys holidays then so be it.

Life changes usually, she may not afford these holidays if she did have a mortgage / live with someone / have children, and the holidays she does then may be very very different.

Is this a joke
Absolutely nothing to do with you

Good for her!

At 26 I jacked in a job in law in London to travel around the world! She's young. It'll be fine.

She may not be looking to settle in the UK ultimately, many younger people are looking at their options now the UK is in such a mess. There are many paths in life and it’s her choice. If you’re worried, start a conversation, but don’t tell her she goes on too many holidays!

Her money, her choice

As long as she’s not asking you for money or getting in debt, YABVU. It’s absolutely none of your business

She can spend what she wants as it’s her money. But I hope she doesn’t complain about not being able to buy a house in the future. I know people like this who complain a lot that they can’t afford to buy, but they have always gone on so many holidays, eat out a lot and buy expensive things, it’s infuriating.

Absolutely it's her prerogative, and yes good for her.

I'd frame a conversation that goes along the lines of. 'It's great that you're enjoying yourself as long as you've read and understood the boring small print. It's fine that you're putting off savings as long as you know the consequences of it in terms of property ladder, contingency etc.'

I have a few separate family members who are approaching 40 with that exact lifestyle and are perfectly happy. They don't want commitments they just want to live their best life. I love their carefree, unapologetic lifestyle. There's a lot to be learned about living in the moment sometimes.

However I do understand as parents we have to read out the Ts And Cs to our children occasionally. It just needs to be framed in a way that you are not telling them what to do but you're watching their back. Not easy.

Sounds great I was the same once. I eventually reigned it in and bought a house

Take a leaf out of your daughter’s book and get a life instead of begrudging someone else theirs.

She's happy renting even if you aren't happy with it. sounds like she's living her best life and doing no harm to anyone, leave her to so as she wants she's a grown woman!!!!

Jealous much? Good for her if she can afford it.

In a few years she will probably be bemoaning that she can’t buy a house and that she has no hope of ever funding an adequate pension.

The key to both is to start saving as early as possible. We know that as established adults, but youth have to make their own mistakes. As long as she isn’t living with you and isn’t asking you to subsidize her lifestyle, you have to stay relatively quiet.

one thing my parents did do is talk up their investment planning service. I didn’t end up using it, but it did at least get me to investigate the available options at the time and pick what worked for me.

You sound like a right laugh

Leave her alone.

Jesus let her live. She's years ahead to be sensible and save.

Your daughter is 26, making her own living, spending it on her priorities, and enjoying her life.
She’s got a few more years before she turns into a 9 to 5, no fun, save the money, married mum who looks back fondly on that sunlit beach vacay she took in 2024.
.
To be honest, I’m a little envious of her.

I went on SO many holidays in my 20s... I settled down in the last couple of years of my 20s, saved, and bought a house. She may do that, she may not. It's her life!

Exactly what I did in my mid 20s when I was earning good money and bonuses (pre 2008 crash!). Now I'm mid 40s, 2 DC, put every spare penny into my pension and looking forward to my next holiday in a caravan. No regrets whatsoever.

Think of the carbon footprint of the long flights your DD seems to be taking, perhaps if you are not someone driving a large car etc you could talk to her on that basis.

Make it clear that you will not be 'bank of mum and dad' if the result is ending up renting for life.

My DCs are all in their 20’s and rent socialise and travel. I’d be so sad if they were stuck lonely in a studio flat with a massive mortgage, which is all their rent would get them. In ten years time it’s likely they’ll be coupled up with twice the buying power- there’s no guarantee those studio flats would have any equity in them, they could be unsaleable (cladding, common parts bills etc.)
Encourage her to pay into her pension but mortgages aren’t the be all and end all.

100% this. Or if the shit hits the fan and she loses her well paid job and didn't have an emergency fund set aside...

I'm a for go travel and explore the world but balance it by also saving. It's not one or the other there is a healthy inbetween

Sounds like the perfect way to spend your twenties. If she earns well she’ll be able to save for a deposit when she chooses to.