Uninvited guest. How do I get rid?!

[Motherproblem101]

DM 57 lives alone. She's an alcoholic who doesn't leave the house. She's surviving on inheritance but it's almost run out.

She rings me up a lot crying, can't cope, wants to end it, etc. She has asked previously if she could move in.

Yesterday she called and it was worse than ever, the crying, threatening suicide, etc. Said she'd had a fall. So I said I'd pick her up and she could stay for a while.

I warned DH. But wires crossed he thought it was only one night. Not basically indefinitely.

Backstory is that DH doesn't like her. Completely understandable. I don't particularly either. She's rude. Controlling. Has said some awful vile things to me in the past. Still trys to control and tell me what to do. She's extreme right wing and has views that DH and I vehemently disagree with.

But I feel a certain responsibility and obligation toward her despite this. Guilt too I suppose.

DHs DC are due to stay with us this weekend but he's said if she's still here he'll cancel their visit because he doesn't want DM around them.

She can't stay. But now she's here I don't know how to get rid of her. It'll just go back to how it was before, constant suicide threats, crying, having 'falls'.

She says she's too unwell to get a job once her inheritance runs out so she wants to move in and sell her house so she can live off the money.

She's been here one day and she's already started cleaning and rolling her eyes. Moaning about things. Wants constant gratitude and praise for the cleaning she's done.

What do I do?

If she is threatening suicide I think you should report this to social services. They may feel she needs to be sectioned under the mental health act. However, her behaviour changed so quickly to cleaning and moaning as soon as she got to your house, it sounds more like manipulation. You will have to be strong and refuse to have her at your house under any circumstances. But do contact social services if she tries the suicide threat again. Don't be manipulated by her.

If your mother phones you with an ailment (of whatever seriousness) you need to tell her that you're going to phone an ambulance or whatever the next best service is for whatever is ailing her at that moment in time. When you're speaking with the agent on the phone you say that you don't actually know her condition as she doesn't live with you but she is an alcoholic with mental health issues and you can't look after her so you need them to intervene.

Stay strong.

Take her back to her house, tell her you want nothing more to do with her until she gets help. Then go non contact. She’s damaging your relationship with your husband and ruining your life. Don’t feel in any way guilty by cutting her off. This is all attention-seeking behaviour by a narcissist.

This. And tell her that you'll help her to do it, starting tomorrow (Monday). You cannot have this toxic woman ruining your life.

Genuinely, that's excellent advice.

This !