Grandparents going over our head to fund gap year

[Pinkyoo]

DD is doing her A-Levels and has decided to take a gap year. We told her she will need to fund this herself.
She's been in touch with an internship group where she can do a 16 week internship in Colombia. She's desperate to do it. It is £5500 for the fees alone (including accommodation), then flights and living costs.
DD has been working part time since the day after her 16th birthday and saves most of what she earns. We've already helped contribute to the cost of her inter-railing in Europe over summer with her friends.

Today my mum told me that she and my dad have decided they will entirely fund the internship, including flights. But need DD to use her savings to cover the living costs (recommended $100-200 per week).

They've said they will also help her with travelling for some of her gap year.

We are in a position where when DD goes to uni, we can cover her living costs and give her money for food. But she will need to work to travel etc.

I hate that my parents have gone over our head to fund this. I'd hoped DD would find full time work in her gap year. Now it's looking more like travel in the summer, travel in autumn, internship January, then maybe more travelling.

AIBU to think this is ridiculous and they are spoiling her?

There are schemes where students can work abroad, but it can get a bit "white saviour", building orphanages and stuff.

Maybe look at something in Europe? Unless she wants to go further afield.

Either way, I think it's great that your DD gets this opportunity.

She's been working and saving since she was 16, give her a break. This is amazing that her grandparents can help her this way.

It sounds a great opportunity and she is likely to be more inspired to work when she does go to uni, she will also be more mature. The only caveat I would have is that provision is made for any other children to have similar money/ opportunity so it is not unfair.

Paying to be an unpaid intern?! What kind of exploitative BS is this?

What's the downside to this?

She may be working for 50 years after uni, I’d be thrilled for my kids doing this. Let her enjoy being young and having no ties or commitments.

Why do feel that they have gone over your head?

How would you have preferred them to offer this?

I’m never sure what to think about parents who push for a worse deal for their DC.

So is this Columbia the country or Columbia the US university?

Apart from the obvious paying to work for free angle, which people have different opinions about, this seems to be a legitimate company.

They claim to work with a lot of universities and companies so it should be fairly simple to check up.

I'd be delighted for my child to have that experience, especially when it's related to their discipline. She's already proved herself as a hard worker and saver. I think you need to step back and check your attitude.

What a CV lovely gift and opportunity.

This shouldn't affect your finances. If she doesn't then have enough for university when she comes home then she'll have to look into an extra year earning before going off to university.

Their generous financial offer shouldn't impact you at all. Just carry on as you would have.

Sounds like an amazing opportunity for your DD and that's great that her grandparents are in a position to help her out.

I can't vouch for this company either way, but they don't have sponsor status for 'interns' to come to the UK - they seem to have to find their own sponsor which would make me a bit nervous.

What an amazing opportunity for your daughter to see the world and experience new things and even better that her grandparents can help her to do that. Why would you want her to miss out on such an opportunity? She's got a lifetime to 'bankroll' herself. Let them 'spoil' her if that's what they want!

I’d be delighted!

Your Mum told you… so how have they gone over her head?

It’s something she has researched and planned to do, it will be a great experience, she has been working and earning and will do again.

Yabu, what an amazing opportunity. She has the rest of her life for work

YABVU. How amazing that she has such generous and supportive grandparents!

@Pinkyoo it's a fantastic adventure.

Having to pay for your internship though would make me reticent.

There are many sites online which seem more legitimate e.g.

https://www.gooverseas.com/blog/paid-summer-internships-abroad

Best wishes to your daughter, she will have a fabulous time.

@Pinkyoo would this be suitable as an alternative?

https://www.workaway.info/

Ah come on op you were young once!

Your daughter will be an adult. You need to get used to not controlling her decisions. Sorry.

She has her whole life for full time work, a gap year is about experience and growing up? If she’s fortunate enough to have someone who can fund it and is willing to, why wouldn’t you want that?

I also think at 18 it’s between her and her grandparents, doesn’t need your approval.

I can’t believe you’d rather she worked in Tesco all year!

My friend did something similar in Cartagena in Colombia, plus another summer one a different year.
The fees covered Accomodation/breakfast/excursions/language classes/cooking classes and more I think.
I don't remember who the provider was but can ask. She had a great time, got a job really quick out of uni and said it was life changing!

Let her do it.