They're better off dead... AIBU?

[CupcakeOdssey]

Not sure if I'm being funny here or what.

How you feel if this was said to you?

One of my close family members has cancer that has spread all over, they are on palliative care and taken it badly.
They had a heart attack and was resuscitated by hospital but now they've said they've signed a DNR as they're to weak to cope with that again.

I was telling one of my in laws about said family member and they said "why did they resuscitate them for? That was stupid they are better off dead!"

How would you take that? I'm quite shocked and a bit hurt by their comment.

Having worked with a palliative care team, I know it isn't only about death, more about being able to make the most of the time you have with family and friends and hopefully that time will be pain free, both physically and mentally.
Yes what your In- law said is blunt and a bit insensitive, we don't like that as it hits home about the inevitable. You should have said something about it being a bit blunt at the time, but you were probably too shocked.

I agree with them tbh and would probably say the same. Although I’m only on my 40’s I have a living will because my family is very prone to strokes and frankly if I can’t wipe my own bum I don’t want to live. It’s about quality of life not quantity I’ve never ever understood people who just want to be a head in a box. Please note this is personal to me and am not a fan of euthanasia for others as we’ve seen from Canada it’s rife for abuse!

A doctor signs it. Not the patient. It is a medical decision. The patient's or their family's views are taken into account, but at the end of the day, if CPR is futile, it is cruel to perform it on someone who won't survive it.