Upset about Mothers Day card

[Strawberry06]

Before I start I probably am being unreasonable but I can't help the way I feel.

Today is my first ever Mother's Day and my husband usually gets me a nice card for other occasions and writes a personal message inside.

Anyway for some reason he decided to go down the moonpig route and he made me a personalised card using a photo of me and the baby. In said photo I look horrendous, I've had no sleep, no make up on, not even brushed hair and the card is the whole photo. I couldn't help but cringe when I opened it and then burst out crying. Then there's just the most basic line of text inside.

I know I probably sound so ungrateful and there are much more important things but all I wanted was just a normal cute mummy card with a handwritten message inside for my first Mother's Day and I can't help but think he's ruined it and I'm so upset about it.

He knows the cards are important to me I don't ask for or expect anything else but a nice card I don't feel like it's a lot to ask!

It’s possible that this was the best photo of their son- one of the pictures he wasn’t all red and crying or turning the wrong way?

This is the sort of thing op has said herself she might laugh about in years to come…

Eg- God remember when I’d just had George and you gave me that card with the awful blown up picture of me sitting in a hospital bed holding him..ha ha.

Keep perspective!

Oh dear.

I don't often say this but your poor husband.

I hope he doesn't bother next year.

I have to tell you, you're being hard work.

@DappledThings

but he should have done if op is someone who likes having her hair and makeup done!

I am not a make up person so cannot understand that POV, but I think it's pretty nuts to ascribe negative intentions to this new Dad. Tbh, if this is the worst of your problems wrt men, you should thank your lucky stars.

He probably took that photo of a beautiful moment and it fills him with feelings of love for the mother of his child.

‘he should have made more effort’ - he also has a 2 week old baby.

Imagine this was Father’s Day and he was complaining about the card he was given

You're not going to convince me. I don't think it's unreasonable he wasn't thinking about whether OP looked made-up or not if he thought she looked good to him.

At this rate you are going to go through life with a lot of disappointments. Get a grip of yourself quickly.

Mum will have to grow up fast now re hair and makeup. There isn't always time with a new baby.

@DanielGault

well yeah if you’re not a makeup person you’re not gonna get it!

so no need to be dismissive and belittling to those who are. It’s not the worst thing in the world, no. But I would be disappointed with my husband if he did it.

The first year of being a mum on Mother's Day I waited expectantly for a card and a little gift from DH on behalf on our child. I got nothing. In fact he looked shocked and horrified when he realised I was expecting at least a little something. His response ? "You're not my mum", which was rich considering I'd bought the card and present for his mum. Be grateful that he even bothered. Some men just don't get it.

@DanielGault

lol are you saying women who wear makeup are somehow immature??

and yes there will be time. If it’s important to op she can make time.

You must live an extremely charmed life. More power to you I suppose 🤔

I wouldn't make a card outa a shit photo of my dh

The baby is 2 weeks old. That means there's only a few days worth of photos of OP and baby together to choose from. Presumably in all of them OP has had no sleep, and, on the basis that baby was in hospital for quite a few of those days, might have had other things on her mind than making sure she looked elegant for the photo.

If she wants a staged photo with the baby with both looking perfect there will be plenty of opportunities to have one.

a voice of reason!

Right, let's not flame the op too much yeah?

OK, technically you're being unreasonable, he's made an effort blah blah. But I can absolutely see why you are upset. I probably would be myself.

My own husband can't list choosing cards as one of his talents either, this year's is a classic example.

Er, no? I just said there's much less time when you have a baby. Hardly rocket science like.

This is the best idea! My friend and I did this for years after I received an unfortunate picture card one year. It was like guess which awful picture it'll be this time 😂

I do think wanting some kind of long message from your DH in a mother's day card is a quite unreasonable when the card is technically from DC who wouldn't be writing some long heartfelt message or was the expectation that you had a card from baby and a card from DH?

@DanielGault

you said “Mum will have to grow up fast now re hair and makeup”

Ignore that poster. I don’t know if she’s had children recently, but she used to say she didn’t have kids but then on other threads make out that she did, if it suited her to attack someone that is. Beware!

Yes. Logically, there is much less time to worry about hair and makeup when you have a newborn.

@DanielGault

yes i agree but what has that got to do with growing up ?

That it's time to become that little bit less self indulgent about stuff that is now less important. It almost seems like you're being deliberately obtuse here.

@DanielGault

im honestly not!

I just don’t see wearing makeup as self indulgent ! if a woman likes it and wants to wear it then so be it.

Regardless of whether you think the OP is BU or not, some of you are being really spiteful towards a woman who gave birth 2 weeks ago. Come on!