To think this was massively out of line

[Linguines]

DH just randomly smacked me so hard on the arse that it almost reduced me to tears. There is a huge handprint on my bum now and I just feel bit like, what the hell? why did he do that? why did he think that was ok?

That's assault. I'd be informing the police. Did he do it as a joke? Has he apologised? Was there a lead up to it?

What he say when you said wtf?

What if you delivered the same force of smack to his arse? How would he react?

Ask him why on Earth did he do that?

What's your relationship normally like? If my DH did that to me or if my son in law did that to my DD, I'd be seriously having to restrain myself from losing my shit.

Ask him?

Obviously not ok at all. Without context, how would anyone know why he did that?

There was no lead up to it, it was the most random event. He just left and went out with the kids as he takes them out on a Sunday morning, no sorry, I just said OMG that really hurt.

🙄

Context is irrelevant, you didn't give permission for him to hit you so hard that's he's left a mark and he has no right to assault you anyway.

Of course context is relevant.

Usually if I am bending down at the washer etc he will smack my bum but not hard. It is really annoying but I dont say anything. He has never done it that hard I just dot get it.

Why don't you say anything? Not that it's your fault just wondering why you haven't addressed it with him.

Were you bending down this morning?

If so this post is essentially

DH usually smacks me on the bum when bending down but today he did it harder than usual?

I wasnt bent down this morning no. It was just out of the blue, I dont understand why he felt the need to do that.

Technically, it is assault, but if he's never done this sort of thing before, I'd probably hold off on calling the police and talk to him about it - why did he do it, did he realise how much ot hurt, and will he promise never to do it again? If he's not deeply apologetic, then I'd be rethinking things.

Assuming everything else is OK between you then it sounds like he's done his usual thing and misjudged how hard he did it.

Take a photo of the mark before it disappears and then show him, if his reaction is anything less than being shocked and apologetic then you've got massive issues.

I would be using this to tell him to fucking stop it, it's annoying and he's hurt you.

Obviously it's his fault not yours-but why haven't you said anything before? Not that you should need to...

We can't answer your questions, only he can.

Maybe he thinks it's some kind of foreplay?

I think context is very relevant and will influence how you move forward.

Was his intent to chastise you, hit you as a form of physical punishment for a perceived slight, or some form of physical rough housing between you of a playfight nature?

It's unacceptable to hurt you in that manner but how it was intended would very much dictate whether/how we moved on from it.

Eugh… even if he didn’t mean to hurt you it still sounds creepy and unpleasant. You shouldn’t tolerate him doing this tbh. I would have nipped that in the bud long ago. Do you really want your kids witnessing that?

Time for a very serious conversation when he gets back. And time that weird little habit stopped, because look where it’s led.

Then ask him

Why do you think a bunch of strangers online know why your husband did something?

Do you honestly think the police would do anything? Dint he ridiculous. It was a shit thing to do but sounds like a misguided action rather than an attack.

Sorry cross posted with further info .... I think you need to tell him straight you don't like it. Sounds as though he misjudged the force and sees it more as a "sexy" thing?? You're not on the same page, tell him to stop.

Did you say something to the effect of ‘That hurt, why did you do that?’

If not, then why not?

Of course she should have. I pinch my dh bum when I walk past. He will squeeze my bum sometimes.

If he suddenly were to tell me he hates it and is assault and that he's calling the police I'd be wanting to know why he didn't say anything.

Lots of things are normal play. If you don't like something, say so. How would someone know it's not ok if it's normal in other relationships.