To think this was massively out of line

[Linguines]

DH just randomly smacked me so hard on the arse that it almost reduced me to tears. There is a huge handprint on my bum now and I just feel bit like, what the hell? why did he do that? why did he think that was ok?

That's seriously worrying Op - hope you're safe.

Wants you to realise what? Your post doesn't really make sense op.

Obviously you have pissed him off somehow….and now he’s retaliating instead of telling you why he’s upset.

Are you ok? Are you safe? Is there anywhere you can go incase he gets more wound up?

I don't want anyone hitting or slapping me on any part of my body. What the fuck is the turn on? It's controlling and unpleasant to be hurt.

You don't slap children. Why would you slap women?

He deliberately assaulted you? Please confide in someone you trust.

Oh sorry OP, I didn't realise it was as serious earlier.

Have you somewhere to go?

Get yourself to the police station ASAP with your photo graphic proof of the assault and tell them he's threatening to physically assault you again.

They will hopefully come and remove him from your home so you and the children are safe.

You need to get away from this man

He isn't generally violent, I think he may have been joking, I don't know?

Ii have had to push him out of my face in the past, He has never physically hit me though, just pointing etc.

what a depressing home environment for your children

What? Presumably you will be divorcing him?

Yes, I agree, I am going to leave

Well he's hit you now. Take a photo if you haven't already and email it to somewhere safe so it's not just on your phone. I think you seriously have to start thinking about whether you need to work out how you are going to leave or get him to leave. Hitting your wife hard enough to leave a mark is not the sign of someone who loves or even likes you!

Well done OP. It's not always easy to make this decision. Please call Women's Aid, report it to the police, and gather as much support around you as you can.

You're doing the right thing. No one should ever stay with a violent partner.

Well done @Linguines. As pp said woman’s aid are a great source of info and support. Good luck x

Yeah course you would 🙄

Thank fuck for that. Please do. Don’t hesitate. Get your head down and plough your way out as swiftly as possible.

My husband smacks my arse all the time, especially when I'm bending over but that is the nature of our relationship and its always in a "God look at that arse I love it" kind of way. However twice he has done it (in 10 years) where it has been so hard its left a handprint and stung. When I've told him he has been absolutely shocked and apologetic - he hasn't realised it was hard and is genuinely distressed it might have hurt me. I would like to understand when you do talk to him if he is genuinely sorry and taken aback as he didn't realise his own strength or if he doubles down and says your overreacting - only one of these is an acceptable response.

Good luck, OP. I hope you have real life support.

He sounds full of pent up anger and resentment. That was my first thought when I read your OP - hurting you but under the guise of plausible denyability, but your other post shows that he's admitted wanting to hurt you! So sorry OP, this is really serious. You are not safe around this man.

Give over. Sounds more like an over enthusiastic slap. Obviously not pleasant, and I would definitely have words, but I honestly wouldn’t class it as assault unless the dh has form for domestic violence.

Did you read OP's other post?!

Have you thought about grabbing his testicles?

Ok is this real? I'm fairly new to MN and I've heard people do wind ups so I'm very sorry if this is not one. Your dh thats never been violent slapped you very hard on your rear, and said it was that or a punch in the face? He wanted you to realise what exactly? Now you're leaving. With children presumably. I'm trying to picture it all. "What do you mean punch me in the face?! Why? What is wrong with you have you lost your mind? Do you care about the mark you left on me?" I'm surely sorry op but you seem a bit meek if all this hasn't been said. He's not a new fling that's gone sideways, he is dh that your leaving. I hope you and the kids are safe as pp have said if you truly feel frightened

I confronted him earlier, he said it was either that or a punch in the face, WOW, he says he wants me to realise.

And this is why I said the slap was a red flag.

When he goes to work tomorrow, go to the police station and call women's aid. Now he's crossed that line things will escalate, you will never be safe with him again.