To think this was massively out of line

[Linguines]

DH just randomly smacked me so hard on the arse that it almost reduced me to tears. There is a huge handprint on my bum now and I just feel bit like, what the hell? why did he do that? why did he think that was ok?

I don’t know why. But he shouldn’t have.

tell him that he hurt you and that you will go to the police if he ever does it again.

and if you don’t want him to “pat” / smack your bum in general (when you bend over etc) you should tell him that as well.

now it the time for firm and clear boundaries. Good luck!

This....

Cause you never know he might just take kindly to a spatula whacking him on his arse and lord knows where he'll go next.

why did he do that? why did he think that was ok?

Why are you asking us? Surely you've asked HIM? What did he say?

My knee-jerk reaction to anyone doing that to me, would be to spin around and whack them just as hard. I hope you're OK... Please make him understand in no uncertain terms that the next time he hits you, you will retaliate or report. Unacceptable. Take a photo if the mark if you can x

@Moveoverdarlin

what? No. He may very well consider this good fun and assume that it’s some sort of “game”.

and trying to compete with a man when it comes to upper body strength or enter some sort of “who can cause more physical pain”-competition is unhinged.
(And the OP is extremely unlikely to “win”.)

fuck sake, would you REALLY phone the police though? Yes id be raging with my husband but phoning the police 😂

Hmmm no not really. OP said it was totally random and uncalled for that’s plenty of context.

This.

She then followed up with information that a bum slap is a common occurrence just not this hard

I think some context would be beneficial? What was happening before this. Were you two in a spat? Joking type manner? Either way that level of force is uncalled for and he didn't apologize.....?

The minimising on this thread is depressing. When you hit someone that hard, you KNOW you've hurt them.
It's not misguided foreplay, badly judged "sexy" thing or any other nonsense.
It is a show of power.
Watch out OP.

Nonsense.

You know people’s pain thresholds are different right?

I could quite literally tap my mothers arm and she would wince, I have often accidentally ‘hit’ her and it be deemed ‘hard’ as she has sensitive skin and is a bit of a wimp (she admits it herself) whereas others wouldn’t even register

I do sometimes wonder if some men might do this as they can hit a woman as hard as they like with a good excuse of plausible deniability if its on the bum.

I think if he hit you really hard its because he felt like hitting you really hard, is he resenting that its mothers day or something? :(

Really hope its a case of he doesn't know his own strength but if he really didn't mean to hurt you and you made a hurt noise when he hit you surely he would have been very repentant. Did he say anything?

I think this would be my reaction too.

I never understand these couples who don’t speak and instead post on mumsnet!!! Ask him why he did it and explain that actually it really hurt and he needs to apologise.

He probably didn’t mean to smack you so hard as he walked past. You said there was no lead up, so it’s not like he was ‘punishing’ or ‘disciplining’ you. It wasn’t done in anger if there’s no lead up. Sounds like a playful spank on the arse, that he misjudged. You’ve never told him, by your own admission, so he doesn’t know that you don’t find that funny/cute (some of us do 😁)

If you don’t like it, then you need to have an open chat with him, very neutral and non-judgemental, that clearly sets out that this is something you don’t appreciate, that it makes you feel [insert your response] and that you don’t want him to do it again. The maintain that boundary. We all have different ones and that’s ok. Just because I like it, doesn’t mean you have to.

In all honesty, if I were you OP, I'd be waiting for a moment later in the evening, and suddenly whack him full on the nuts !

When he asked me 'what was THAT for?' or 'why would you DO that?', I'd reply, because YOU hurt ME this morning, for NO bloody reason, so I'm just returning the bloody favour !

I could quite literally tap my mothers arm and she would wince, I have often accidentally ‘hit’ her and it be deemed ‘hard’ as she has sensitive skin and is a bit of a wimp (she admits it herself) whereas others wouldn’t even register

Does she have special skin where a light tap would leave a red mark too?

For pity's sake, get off Mumsnet and talk to him.

Swear there was this exact post about 6 months ago?

Take a photo of the hand print. Send him the photo and demand to know why he slapped you so hard to cause this injury.

I bet you get a swift response.

I’d knee him hard in the bollocks when he gets home (in a lovely playful way of course)

Stop the world, I want to get off!!

It's certainly sounding familiar! 🤔