Why is being successful frowned upon by most on Mumsnet

[Teenangels]

I have been/seen on some threads that people, are negative towards those that have become successful, children go to private school means the kids are entitled.

Why can't we celebrate that some people get lucky with an idea, take risks, work incredibly hard and pay their fair share on taxes.

I have seen people demand that the OP gives their profits to charity without even knowing what the OP gives to charity.

We need to celebrate all in society.

I saw an amusing thread once. The OP was asking for advice on her etsy sideline. She wanted to phase out her items which weren’t making much money and concentrate on her most profitable items.

She was told that she was being greedy.

A lot of that is a measure of academic intelligence rather than hard work though, surely? Not everyone is going to be able to pass A Levels, get a degree/Masters or sit exams, no matter how hard they try or how many hours they put into it. Not everyone has the type of intelligence that will enable them to write A grade essays.

So yes, working hard at school and university is one type of ‘hard work’ (I didn’t work hard at all but passed all my exams and got a 2:1 anyway) and the type of ‘hard work’ that involves getting up early every day and working long days/working two jobs in roles such as cleaning or care work.

😁 muppets.

No I don't, I want those that have worked hard to succeed and those that have not to be equally celebrated.

This is batshit

Thing is...£70k now is the equivalent of about £50k before the Brexit vote, thanks to inflation and all the other measures the government has taken to destroy the economy. Even less, when you consider that the tax thresholds haven't moved.

It used to be that £70k+ was "doing really well". Now it's "living month-to-month to support a family", the line really is that fine.

Oh good lord. How about we all just get on with our lives and watch out for the vulnerable?

What I notice is the assumption that someone is lying if they earn more than eg £60k.

Being born into money - hard work or luck?
Parents buying you a house - hard work or luck?
Good grades at school - hard work or luck?
Going to college - hard work or luck?
Going to uni - hard work or luck?
Gaining employment - hard work or luck?
Excelling in your career - hard work or luck?
Gaining quals as an adult - hard work or luck?
Working full time and studying 20 hours a week in the evenings - hard work or luck?
Temp put your life on hold to better yourself - hard work or luck?

Until those that work hard and don't succeed are celebrated I am not minded to celebrate those who have succeeded

It seems unfair

And by celebrated I mean adequately rewarded not patted on the head or going whoop whoop how wonderful

Why do people think MN is one hive mind?

There's millions of users a month on here.

I think the responses threads get are often inspired by the thread title and the first post.

So someone complaining they're struggling when they earn £70k for example will get attention from people earning way way less and they'll point out how lucky the OP should feel.

If someone starts a thread titled "Have £2000 to spend on a bag" you can't really be that surprised when people with scarce enough to feed their kids reply negatively.

'my diamond shoes are too tight'
Will get negative responses from those without shoes.

So instead of moaning that a small percentage of the total visitors have responded in a less than affirmative and positive and celebratory way, they haven't sufficiently doffed their cyber caps to their betters as it were, maybe wonder why those posters are getting the negative responses in the first place and perhaps you may see their post andnsituation is akin to someone with a cold complaining their nose is blocked to someone with incurable cancer.

May be people think it is not really fair, because many people work very hard ( physical jobs are the hardest or hospital or caring jobs ) and are not rewarded, someone filling excel sheets with data getting the highest salary. You can think about it and see that it is not fair.

I am applying to be a volunteer helping local people with all sorts of life issues and I have to be able to bring MS Office skills, report writing skills, communicating with MPs and this will be only a volunteer position. The ones who really bring value to others lives are least renumerated.

Well no. Not working full time is no indicator of success or political leanings really. Also disagreeing with a position doesn't equate to being envious of it. You appear to be making huge assumptions about things you can't possibly know.

It’s a typically British ‘small island’ mentality to pull people down. To resent other people doing well, looking for excuses about how they could possibly not have contributed to their own success. But then being more than happy to live off other people’s money.

There are 10 million people in this country who are on out work benefits. While we are importing almost a million people a year to work. Less than half of the population are net contributors and take more from the system than they pay in. Those sending their children to private schools are paying for their children and those of people who are envious and resentful of them.

British psyche seems to be akin to that of crabs in a bucket. Quite sad and pathetic.

Surely wealth, comfort and success are their own reward? What is it you actually need OP? I don't resent success, I'm too busy with my own life. I understand that with things as they currently are others might not want other people waving it in there face.

Well done for being successful, but we still need those who are prepared to do the menial jobs to keep society running. They deserve consideration too. Their children need educating...

I would really like us to celebrate people who have made a positive difference to our lives. Interestingly I think those are unlikely to be lawyers, investment bankers etc or business owners.

When I think of people who made an actual difference to my life, these people were different. They were teachers, doctors and actually other mothers. When I had some sort of need, they helped. People do not have to do that. A lot of money is one thing, but it doesn't mean very much in terms of a person and their character.

Bragging posts aside, people will be annoyed/ upset/angry/hostile about whatever someone has (or what they perceive them to have) that they wish they had but can’t admit it to themselves because on some level it’s too painful. Sometimes they don’t even know they wish they had it but they get triggered by the shame of not having it and don’t realise why. I include myself in this! (Including myself is just a disclaimer! I have no conscious hostilities towards anyone who has anything I wish I had).

Quite a lot to unpack here:

Theres definitely a culture of chippiness about people who earn good money. You see this manifesting in the threads where people express incredulity that a woman can earn over £100k or have her own property, it actually makes me realise how little progress there’s been in equality.

There’s definitely an element of good old British tall poppy syndrome in which people don’t like being confronted with others success.

On the other hand the way some people choose to talk about their wealth can be incredibly vulgar on here sometimes. It’s just not really necessary to announce “DH and I are millionaires and send all three kids to Eton”. No one should be ashamed of being affluent but there are ways to read the room and not be a complete arse in the way you talk about it.

Well, yes. It’s an indicator of people wanting to haul themselves out of bed for almost 40 hours to try and earn and crust.

When almost 10 million working age people don’t.

My husband grow up in a council house, left school at 15, and we took a huge risk and knew that we had no one to pay the mortgage and we would go hungry if it did not work out.

But it depends on the wording of the initial thread really. If there is clear insight but they acknowledge that and seek advice fair enough. If they are completely tone deaf then they may deserve to get their arse handed to them.

So 10 million working age people are not working

Some because they have worked hard and been lucky and retired early so self funded

Some because they can't get a job that pays as much as the childcare would cost

Sone because they are illl, in pain, waiting for surgery , waiting for mental health support

And a small number who are happy to live off benefits

Jealousy

You can see it in the threads where people work in flexible roles and don’t need to work their full hours every week, or can be super flexible regarding their hours or location - loads of posters seem to find that an issue too!

There's some truth behind the old saying ' An American looks admiringly at a man in a fabulous car driving by and thinks one day I'll have one of those ... a Brit looks at the same car and thinks why should he have that...'

So millions of retired, disabled and carers who may be unable to work don't exist?