Why is being successful frowned upon by most on Mumsnet

[Teenangels]

I have been/seen on some threads that people, are negative towards those that have become successful, children go to private school means the kids are entitled.

Why can't we celebrate that some people get lucky with an idea, take risks, work incredibly hard and pay their fair share on taxes.

I have seen people demand that the OP gives their profits to charity without even knowing what the OP gives to charity.

We need to celebrate all in society.

The nerve that finds it tedious seeing the same drums being banged every time someone starts a thread about struggling as a higher earner? Sure.

When people are suddenly finding themselves, through no fault of their own, struggling to afford the lifestyle that they could previously easily afford, of course they’ll take issue with that. That other people have less doesn’t negate this being a problem for those with more. They should be able to post about their own experiences/ask for advice without having to pander to the sensibilities of those who just want them to shut up. People post about plenty of things I have no interest in/can’t relate to, but funnily enough I don’t go into those threads and make them about me.

So its a one size fits all, a little background security again this is a huge assumption.

I think people get annoyed mainly when posters don't acknowledge the privilege they have.

E.g. I grew up in a council house, and am now doing pretty well. Yes, I worked hard. But I also had supportive parents, and a natural ability for academic learning. Massive advantages.

Many successful people "took risks". All the risk takers I know are well aware that their parents would cover their mortgage if they were about to default. So risking £££££ in a business knowing there is no chance of you going hungry is less "risky" than giving up a minimum wage job to retrain, if you have no fall back.

It's fine to be successful - it's not fine to think it makes you better than anyone else.

We need both high earners and low earners in this country. I have noticed that MN believes women can't possibly be high earners. They must have marries well.

I think they should get on with their lives, embrace the choices that they made and quit seeking validation in other people's opinions and choices.

There’s always plenty of whinging from the well off on here. You’ve got plenty of money! Great. Enjoy spending it. The problem is the entitlement that comes with it, and there’s plenty on here. I pay too much tax! Why oh why do people resent private schooling! Why is my nanny/cleaner etc etc so lazy and demanding all the time. On and on it goes; they might be minted, but they’re not happy unless everyone else is tugging the forelock. Their shit stinks, just like anyone else’s.

Oh there’s plenty of luck involved.

''@Menomeno

I don’t have a problem with people who are successful, good luck to them! However, I do find it vulgar to gloat, and also have no time for all the “We earn 3 hundred billion a year but we can’t make ends meet and only manage to save a grand a month” threads.''

This!

I think it is not success that people have a problem with it is the bragging and ludicrous complains from people on higher salaries that they are 'struggling'.

Also the fact that people seem to think only high earners 'work hard' when the average cleaner, retail and care staff, nurse and teacher probably work twice as hard as they do for mediocre pay and are more essential to society ticking along than another hedge fund manager or lawyer...

Or the fact that so many people are tone deaf about the fact that 'hard work' is not always enough when people don't have the privilege of being born with supportive parent in an household where money is not an issue.

Basically enjoy your success but don't look down on others who are less fortunate and appreciate your privilege and it is likely most people won't begrudge you your money.

Also society has become more unequal in the past decade or so and we have the cost of living crisis and a government that only cares about the rich. This is bound to make people angrier.

Why is being successful frowned upon by most on Mumsnet?

It isn't.
Quite the opposite.

Also the fact that people seem to think only high earners 'work hard' when the average cleaner, retail and care staff, nurse and teacher probably work twice as hard as they do for mediocre pay and are more essential to society ticking along than another hedge fund manager or lawyer...

very much this ☝️

Bragging is seen by some for anyone that earns 50k a year again its all personal.

My point is that their are some that have lucked out, coming from nothing and worked so hard to get to where they are, but they are not celebrated by those that have not become so successful, maybe its a UK thing.

There was some research done that showed the richer people became the less empathy they showed for others and became keener to attribute laziness as a characteristic to those who had a lesser income. It's quite an obvious trait for some on Mumsnet.

Again this is an idea that only those that are successful are hedge fund managers, or lawyers.

I really don't understand your response.

On every private school thread there’s always someone, often several someone’s, claiming that they can afford to send their children to private schools because they work hard. They’re seemingly oblivious to the fact that many people work hard but still can’t afford to privately educate their children.

Likewise those who claim that they can afford it because they only take one holiday a year and drive a ten year old Audi oblivious to the fact that plenty of people can’t afford an annual holiday and couldn’t have bought an Audi in the first place. As though everyone else is spending their money on heroin and designer handbags.

I think people would just appreciate a little humility.
I like this line in the amazing song Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)

"Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's"

But no one wants to admit that a lot of what they have 'worked hard to achieve' has also had a healthy dose of good fortune, luck of birth etc as well.
Of course, there are those who have done extremely well against the odds. But being humble seems to have stopped being valued.

Basically no one likes a show off.

My point is that their are some that have lucked out, coming from nothing and worked so hard to get to where they are, but they are not celebrated by those that have not become so successful, maybe its a UK thing.

It’s often because they are such ghastly individuals. Rarely modest, often ‘eee thee need to pull thyself up by thy bootstraps’ in their approach to anyone else.

So everyone that has worked hard is a ghastly individuals.

You have managed to confirm my OP completely

So?

I’ve personally never seen that but I also don’t go on about my own income as that would be incredibly tone deaf and I’m very lucky. From what I’ve seen, success is seen very positively. Women must keep working after kids. Women should be in high earning jobs not nursing, teaching etc. parents disappointed with kids choosing their own careers.

It's ghastly to need approval for your good fortune and opportunity.

Well, in so much that your OP is whingy BS I suppose.

There are people that have done well against the odds, yet people jump to conclusions about how they did it.

This is why I think we should celebrate all.

😂

Honestly

This is so egotistical. You want to be celebrated?