To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

[Goldenrainbows]

We are away at the moment and went to eat last night in a family pub with an indoor play area which seemed to get my ds (3) a bit hyper. He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

It really wasn’t helped by a woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair and making comments about him and us. I don’t think it was coming from a bad place but AIBU in thinking it really wasn’t appropriate? It was stressful and meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention. (By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

I feel for the poor woman trying to enjoy her meal. You should have taken your child straight out and not allowed him to be 'silly'. Parenting fail on your behalf I'm afraid.

Sounds like she was worried and anxiety meant she couldn't help herself. Sounds like a nightmare I'd hate

Regardless of other children, your own should be your focus. When you go out and want to enjoy a meal if you don't have the type of child that can behave in public you might need reassess as the way you've described it he sounds unruly and disruptive.

Btw doing your best means getting up and actively parenting. You can't just sit and keep eating while he ruins it for everyone else

This. You spoiled her night. You should have taken him out

Unless there is more to this story, I would have taken my chid to a quite area, or outside, until my child was sufficiently calm.

How rude of you. Remove the unruly child and don't take him out to eat if he cannot behave.
Good on the lady who vocally challenged your lack of parenting.

You need to parent. I witnessed an older ladyfloored by 2 " silly" children running around a restaurant- like you their parents had allowed this behaviour.

I'm sure you ruined her meal too. I wouldn't be able to relax with a small child swinging back on his chair in my eyeline. She was right, it's dangerous. Why did you allow him to do this more than once?

Swinging back on a chair is hugely dangerous. What were you doing to stop him? I know of two children who cracked their heads open when their chair fell back after they'd been swinging on it.

If your child is swinging off a chair and running off in a restaurant, you take them outside. Stop letting them disturb other diners. If it means you don't get to enjoy your meal, that's tough. Part and parcel of parenting.

Sounds like she was being dramatic but it was probably down to annoyance.

What time was it? He was likely overtired. I don’t think restaurants are the best place for 3yr olds in the evenings. You should have taken him out if he couldn’t handle it.

Sort your child out fgs.
She was worried for his safety.

You should have removed your child from the restaurant if he was running around misbehaving. It doesn’t matter that others were being badly behaved, that’s no excuse. There’s no way I’d have allowed running around servers carrying food and swinging on chairs. He’d have been whipped outside to calm down and I’d have been having a firm word. There’s nothing worse than watching someone fail to parent an unruly child being riotous in shoe where you’re trying to eat.

I was doing my best to deal with it.

Your best obviously wasn’t good enough was it? He was still misbehaving…

When you say 'we', were you the only adult in your group?

It sounds like he’s was playing up repeatedly as you say she said something “every time” he swung on his chair, maybe your way of handling it wasn’t effective and she felt you weren’t taking it seriously enough.

I get it’s hard when others comment on a situation you’re trying to sort but maybe you underestimated how unruly he was being and the impact he was having on others. Better luck next time hopefully!

This is why I’d happily pay extra for child free experiences.

Parent your child OP

You take them out, give them a stern talking to and if they still can't behave you leave as soon as is possible.
Reins are also useful for managing small houdinis.
Been there, done that.

"She was taking our attention "
No. You weren't proactive at dealing with your child.

Have you ever seen a child fall off a chair they've been swinging backwards? It ain't pretty.

We really didn’t ruin her meal. She had angled her chair so that she was sat sideways and looking at us. If she had sat properly (for want of a better word) she wouldn’t have known he was there. He was playing up but not to the extent it would have disturbed anybody else, the chairs weren’t so close together him swinging back got in anyone else’s way.

She was right. He was doing something that could have resulted in serious injury for him.

It sounds like hell on earth, especially as you say yours wasn't the only "badly behaved" child there. I'm sure he wasn't. But just because there were more of them, it was a family restaurant and had a play area, doesn't mean you don't have to actually deal with behaviour that's affecting others.

This all over! I couldn’t rest and eat my food seeing a young child potentially breaking there neck my anxiety would be through the roof and I get that anxiety where I feel like my throats closing and I can’t swallow, very uncomfortable for the other diners. OP you should of either got him under control potentially in a highchair OR just left!

You should have left if he was hyper and silly. She ruined your meal and you ruined hers.

I promise I was dealing with DS but it was made harder by her repeated interruptions.

Then say that. Say its OK thank you for your concern I'm going to go and play with him now for a little bit.