To think this woman shouldn’t have interfered in the restaurant?

[Goldenrainbows]

We are away at the moment and went to eat last night in a family pub with an indoor play area which seemed to get my ds (3) a bit hyper. He’s normally really good in restaurants but was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off and not eating. I was doing my best to deal with it.

It really wasn’t helped by a woman sitting at the table behind us who kept interfering and shrieking ‘he’ll fall!’ every time he was swinging on his chair and making comments about him and us. I don’t think it was coming from a bad place but AIBU in thinking it really wasn’t appropriate? It was stressful and meant we couldn’t deal with DS properly as she was taking our attention. (By the way ds was far from the only badly behaved child there.)

She was dropping big hints as to get a grip on the situation.
Was your DH also 'trying to deal with it?'
Didn't either of you take the hint and remove him??!!

So it's her fault for sitting where she could see your child?

was admittedly being really silly and swinging back on his chair and running off

I'm not sure why you think other people wouldn't notice and be bothered by this. I'm pretty sure everyone would be aware of a dc running off in a restaurant. Staff too hate it as it's dangerous.

He was running off, being silly and repeatedly swinging on his chair.....you ruined her meal OP.

You need to learn to control your child or take him out of the restaurant.

Why didn't you parent him appropriately by taking him taking him out ?
Regardless of what other children are doing you should be controlling your own child
You probably spoilt her meal and I'm sure she wasn't the only parent there tutting at his acrobatics with the chair

Yeah I wouldn't want my precious Saturday night meal out ruined by this kind of behaviour. Clearly you were not supervising closely enough.

Sometimes unfortunately with toddlers/small kids you have to sacrifice your dinner to parent properly. One of us would have left with the child.

Op - AIBU?
Every reply - Yes
OP - but Im not because .......🙄

Did you talk to her? Acknowledge her in any way? She was clearly concerned your kid was going to sustain a serious injury.

Sounds like she was the only one concerned for keeping him, and everyone else, safe.

chair swinging should never be allowed and neither should running around in a place serving food

This

I was doing my best to deal with it
What did that look like? What were you doing?

Swinging back on his chair and running away in a restaurant will 100% have gotnin other peoples way. The waiters and waitresses hate it, its very dangerous.

Does your child poo nuggests of gold, @Goldenrainbows because you are steadfastly refusing to see where it (or you) were being unreasonable.
We've had a couple of threads recently, asking why this country is so hostile to children in restaurants ot other public places
This thread outlines perfectly, at least one reason

How were you 'dealing with' your ds? Swinging on a chair is instantly resolvable. Or should be. Running off - also instantly resolvable. If neither can be dealt with immediately and successfully, then you leave.

If my child was swinging on the back of a chair I would physically restrain them or take them outside. They wouldn’t be doing it more than once because I wouldn’t let them, even if it meant ruining or missing my meal.

Reminds me of the time I was doing a relaxing harbour cruise and a young child kept climbing the boat’s railing. I felt sick with worry the whole time- the parents would ineffectively tell them to stop doing it but at no time did they restrain the child.

Doing your best to deal with it should have involved taking him out and going home if he couldn't behave. But god forbid you cut short your own meal, just make everyone else's experience unpleasant. Children swinging back on chairs in restaurants is really bloody dangerous!

I see what you mean, @EspressoMacchiato, but
Why should others pay extra to avoid those who cannot parent children properly? Why pay to avoid the gentle parenters whose approach has spawned a cadre of uncontrollable terrors who cannot bear not getting their own way

Honestly OP, YANBU. I think this country is a little bit intolerant of children being, well, children. There is still has a children have to be “seen but not heard” mentality.

I also think people have forgotten what it’s like to be a child. Or perhaps they haven’t and were shamed into sitting still and being quiet, contrary to a child’s natural instinct.

She sounds like a nosy busy body and would have irritated me, too.

If it’s a pub with a play area, I bet lots of children were behaving like that.

Perhaps she shouldn’t choose pubs with play areas if children bother her? Perhaps she should also read “the book you wish your parents had read”. All that anxiety probably comes from a place in her past - one where she wasn’t allowed to be a normal three year old.

77% - unreasonable

OP - but but but

🤣🤣🤣

You were in a public place and your child is a member of the public. He was displaying developmentally appropriate behaviour and you were parenting him. She sounds like she was making a point by pretending to be concerned to make herself feel superior. A little patience and compassion and minding your own business unless you are actually being helpful is so important. Let it go. She is also a member of the public and as much as she didn't seem to be able to make concessions for you, you can for her. She was trying to shame you because of her own insecurities. Wish her well and move on secure in your own parenting choices and skills.

OP you are not getting it when you are in a public place EVERYONE around you needs consideration especially in a restaurant! What if it was this ladies Mother’s Day meal you ruined?! Honestly swinging around on chairs his entire behaviour would of been enough for me to have left!

Where is this please? Just so I never go 😆

Honestly it sounds crap for both of you, woman can’t enjoy her meal because she’s anxious about what your child is doing. You can’t enjoy it because of your child.
I always think eating out is boring for a young child, unless they’re fascinated by the food in front of them. Basically they have to sit there for an hour, in a wooden or plastic chair- it’s crap.

I’ve eaten out and had children coming up to me, running around, one hit their head on my table (somehow my fault). It’s not fun. I don’t want to deal with a child that isn’t mine. I want a quiet meal. That said, perhaps she should’ve faced the correct way but I doubt your child was quiet whilst this performance ensued- she probably couldn’t help herself…

Children should not be running round in restaurants.
Why are peopke taking children into restaurants unless they are specifically aimed at children, such as Wacky Warehouse types?
I can understand sitting in areas deemed specifically for families but not anywhere else.
Its the same with pubs.
They are not places for children.
It’s 100% the parents fault if he gets hurt.

Running around in a restaurant is not ok. It's dangerous for staff carrying food and it's disruptive for other patrons. If there was a play area then he should have been taken there. I'm not sure why you think a pub with a play area would mean it was ok for dc to becoming around table areas.

@RickyGervaislovesdogs

I’ve eaten out and had children coming up to me, running around, one hit their head on my table (somehow my fault).
😂I want to know how this panned out. WHO blamed you? What in gods name did they say???