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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mothers Day... to be furious ..

249 replies

skiimmed · 09/03/2024 13:52

That my eldest daughter keeps
Telling me how broke she is , despite part time work through uni and spending plenty on herself, and that she won't be getting me anything , not even a card for Mother's Day?
I have sacrificed so much for her to go to uni... in Ireland..I am
A single parent who works full time so my kids can be educated and have what they need and I feel hurt and angry .
AIBU

OP posts:
BarbieDangerous · 09/03/2024 18:30

KeenAnt · 09/03/2024 17:20

Why on earth did you assume so negatively of her? reread your Op… you’re furious, she’s selfish, entitled, you’re going to tell her “home truths”

Show quote history

Right?!

jannier · 09/03/2024 18:33

Mrsphilmiller · 09/03/2024 13:56

I understand what you’re saying, but I imagine as a mother you sacrificing for your child, is a selfless act?
Just be proud of your daughter in uni and holding down a part time job. That in my eyes should be thanks enough.

Should she practice self flagilation whilst worshipping her daughter too ... obviously her daughter hasn't learned gratitude or compassion if she can't spend £2 on a card

SailingStormyWaters · 09/03/2024 18:36

Pull her up on it and tell her your disappointed.
I have two young adult sons, they have gone above and beyond, l am a lone parent.
I wouldn't hesitate to pull them up on it if they didn't bother though.

Willmafrockfit · 09/03/2024 18:44

skiimmed · 09/03/2024 17:17

My daughter has asked if I'd like to go for breakfast and a walk on the beach tomorrow morning for Mothers day and has asked another of my children if she can contribute to a present that they bought so I feel so much better now. Thanks for all
Replies x

you were indeed a bit previous

drama over everyone

JPGR · 09/03/2024 18:59

A card does not cost much. It is the least she can do

TheFormidableMrsC · 09/03/2024 19:19

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle I found it to be a horrible post. It might be a difference of opinion but @MHNQ thought so too because they deleted it. It was a shitty nasty post.

LaughingCat · 09/03/2024 19:20

Glad she saw sense (maybe she has a MN account…🤣). Have a lovely day tomorrow and enjoy spending time together!

webster1987 · 09/03/2024 19:20

PuffinMcStuffin · 09/03/2024 13:59

You might need to work on your relationship with her if she feels like mothers day is such a small priority. And probably best not to hold your sacrifices over her head, you made those choices, not her.

🙄

justasking111 · 09/03/2024 19:24

I'm glad everything turned out okay OP

sleepyscientist · 09/03/2024 19:27

BarbieDangerous · 09/03/2024 18:28

Isn’t Mother’s Day tomorrow?

Anyway, it may be because we didn’t celebrate Mother’s Day growing up, but I just don’t see the problem.

We celebrated it and I will be getting my mum and MIL a card, I won't get a card as we don't do hallmark holidays

LBFseBrom · 09/03/2024 19:41

She may just be saying that and you will receive a surprise tomorrow.

justasking111 · 09/03/2024 19:42

Two sons missing tomorrow one working, one with his partners family. I did get a beautiful bouquet delivered this morning though.

KeenAnt · 09/03/2024 19:45

skiimmed · 09/03/2024 17:45

@KeenAnt My daughter has strong form for this so this is invitation is a surprise. I am always quick to say it like it is when it comes to my kids. As I said, this is a surprise and I am happy so thanks.

So you, as her mother, think she has “strong form” for being “selfish and entitled” and “playing the victim” and so got “furious” and “assumed” she had got your nothing.

but also that you “get on really well”

Henryhover · 09/03/2024 19:47

I'd be tamping OP, a card doesn't cost much at all

ZenNudist · 09/03/2024 19:48

Aw a quick happy ending! So pleased for you

KeenAnt · 09/03/2024 19:48

but her selfishness and grabbiness feels shameful to me as her mother
selfish
entitled
playing the victim
and is completely Out for herself.

it is as thought you’re talking about someone who despise. Not your young adult daughter

Treeinthesky · 09/03/2024 19:53

I'm not materialistic in the slightest. My eldest is 14 she gets 30 to 40 quid per week and I expect nothing as shop bought means sod all. I'd rather have daffodils from the garden:)

Trulyme · 09/03/2024 19:56

I don’t think anyone should be expected to spend money on something for Mother’s Day (or Father’s Day etc).

I’d rather have an actual act of appreciation, rather than a token gift from a shop that had no thought put into it.

Rosindub · 09/03/2024 19:57

Mrsphilmiller · 09/03/2024 13:56

I understand what you’re saying, but I imagine as a mother you sacrificing for your child, is a selfless act?
Just be proud of your daughter in uni and holding down a part time job. That in my eyes should be thanks enough.

Are you seriously suggesting that the OP should be grateful that her daughter is doing the bare minimum to secure her own future?

TheNoisyEagle · 09/03/2024 20:16

I prefer a homemade card tbh. I hope everyone has a wonderful mothers day ❤

WhichEllie · 09/03/2024 20:17

skiimmed · 09/03/2024 17:24

Do you not believe this ?@KeenAnt
Regardless, she has given me that invitation and I'm relieved that somewhere in there is a conscience.

Jesus. What a horrible thing to say about your own daughter.

KeenAnt · 09/03/2024 20:22

WhichEllie · 09/03/2024 20:17

Jesus. What a horrible thing to say about your own daughter.

Show quote history

i missed that that

bloody hell. The OP really seems to despise her daughter

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 09/03/2024 20:35

KeenAnt · 09/03/2024 19:48

but her selfishness and grabbiness feels shameful to me as her mother
selfish
entitled
playing the victim
and is completely Out for herself.

it is as thought you’re talking about someone who despise. Not your young adult daughter

Edited

But OP "sacrificed" herself.

HappierTimesAhead · 09/03/2024 20:35

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

What an utterly immature and toxic way to respond to your child when they have done something to hurt you. How about you sit down and calmly explain why they have hurt you rather than waiting to enact some sort of hurtful revenge.

KeenAnt · 09/03/2024 20:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request