To wonder if schools can do this!

[LondonElle]

My 12 year old son was due to go on a sports trip on Friday for the weekend.
We had paid in full for this (over £300.)

He stupidly got involved in a fight the day of the trip ( out of character ) after another boy called him names.

No excuses he was in the wrong and will be punished severely...

I am not minimising what he did.. he was an absolute idiot.

The school pulled the trip which has led to us being out of pocket and he is in isolation on Monday.

I have mixed feeling about this as I'm not sure the school had much of a choice and couldn't fill his place at short notice but part of me thinks due to the bad press the school has recently received and the lack of pastoral support in his year group that an example may have been made of him ( which may be a good thing)

Do I have to suck it up and accept this... don't hold back.. I need cold hard truths!

Agree trio should’ve been pilled, however you should be issued a
FULL refund because it’s the school that has cancelled the trip and not you!!

The timing is unfortunate, but that doesn't make the consequences of missing the trip unfair. The school really didn't have a choice. This is not an unusual behaviour policy. Our school not only would exclude from a trip for a fight but also require parents to pick up if behaviour on a trip is unacceptable. This is no matter how far away they've travelled. I wouldn't be happy a kid who started a fight over verbal provocation being on a trip with my child. Its a lot of money for no benefit to your child, but it's not an expensive way to learn that lesson. I would be talking to him and keeping an eye on him to make sure he's okay and there's not an underlying reason for his behaviour or something he's struggling with. That reason may not be related to the other child he fought with.

A natural consequence of being in a fight can be being arrested, being escorted from a plane and banned from flying, being chucked out by a bouncer, being chucked out of an airport, told to get off a train/bus and having the police called if you dont comply, losing your job, getting a criminal record. He's 12 so if he'd hurt the other kid badly he could have been facing very serious adult consequences.

We should be teaching children that violence isn't the answer and carries severe consequences. Maybe then we'd have less violence in society and in our homes. This is a much less severe way to learn that lesson than it could have been. The natural consequence of physical violence is that people are worried you'll repeat the behaviour and they trust you less. The timing is unfortunate, but being excluded from a school trip is a natural consequence of not being able to trust he won't have a psychical fight with someone. If he'd had time to earn back trust that would be different, like I said the timing is very unfortunate.

If this is out of character then ask for proof. No it’s not ok to pull the trip .

It’s equivalent to being suspended. Look at the laws about that.

Say you’ll also attend. I bet they’ll change their stance

DO NOT ACCEPT THIS if this hasn’t happened a number of times

Say you’ll also attend. I bet they’ll change their stance

Say she will attend a school trip overseas that leaves today? It takes about forty hours to complete the risk assessment for a trip in my LEA. You definitely can't just add a parent on the day you leave.

The trip has already happened.

How exactly?

School: "he's not coming"
OP: "Oh yes he is!"

???

to add to my previous comment, if this trip hadn’t been happening. Or you had not paid for it. What the punishment have been? I don’t think it’s right that they have have used the trip as punishment.

Am I the only person that thinks £300, presumably for 2 nights in a dormitory plus costs of bus hire is extortionate in the first place. (I do understand that isn't the question being asked)
Fwiw I think the school had no choice but AI would check the t&cs

LondonElle · 09/03/2024 13:08

I will say my son isn't a bully... the other child has been goading him for a while. He did over react and I am not excusing this. But he has never been involved in any incidents like this before ( and after this I doubt he will be again”

In which case, effective punishment. Lesson learned, hopefully.

Stick education in front of anything and it hikes the price up.

Am I the only person that thinks £300, presumably for 2 nights in a dormitory plus costs of bus hire is extortionate in the first place.

Coach hire and insurance will take up a subsantial part of that. Would they have needed the coach and driver all weekend? Plus the cost of whatever activities they were doing, which might require qualified, paid staff.

If he can’t behave then I’m sorry he can’t be trusted on the trip, he would be flagged on the schools risk assessment. And if you’ve signed any school behaviour policy then a lack of refund would be perfectly acceptable, plus you must also know travel companies won’t just give schools a refund if a kid drops out, so yes they must be taking this seriously. Also staff don’t have to go on trips if not in school hours- they don’t get paid for it so it’s totally up to them who they trust to take. I run school trips and would ban him too, only children who behave go on them as they are seen as a privilege at our school. Imagine what other parents and children would say in complaints to the school if he came on the trip, a risk assessment nightmare- I have to fill them in and they are nightmares. If you can’t do the time don’t do the time. If I was you as a parent I would be supporting the school and making him do tonnes of jobs round the house to pay off what he owes you in lost trip money

You have it spot on!!!!! 😂 as a secondary school trip leader- this is what runs through my mind every year! I don’t even get paid extra for it

Fighting in schools shouldn’t be minimised. Teachers and other staff who have to wade in to try to stop the fight often get hurt and at least shaken themselves.
Onlookers can get hurt from the pushing and shoving.
Fights cause a heightened atmosphere that is not good in a school community.
A student who has used physical violence is a safeguarding risk.
If violence erupted on a trip- in a public place, on the coach or in the accommodation- this would be dreadful for the trip, the other participants, the staff on the trip, or members of the public who were around.
Of course a child who has been fighting should be banned from a trip.

A student who has used physical violence is a safeguarding risk.
If violence erupted on a trip- in a public place, on the coach or in the accommodation- this would be dreadful for the trip, the other participants, the staff on the trip, or members of the public who were around.

Insurance implications too, I should think, if someone was hurt and it transpired the school knew of the potential risk.