Or dh expecting normal service

[Whatevenishapprning]

Ds 4 spiked a 40.4° fever out of nowhere on Tuesday night. I gave him calpol and ibuprofen over the course of an hour but it took til 1.30am for it to start to come down. Little sleep for either of us because he was tossing and turning, obviously uncomfortable for the rest of the night as it was still high 38.
Wednesday night I slept with him to keep an eye and he was OK, but he wriggles alot and isnt great to sleep next to. Thursday night fevers back so another Tuesday night. Last night was the worst, he's got a horrible cough now it's making him gag so he's vomitted 4 times overnight.

This morning dh has football. He's the manager of an amateur men's team. I asked him before 7 to cancel or get someone to come get the equipment. He's point blank refusing and says he is going.

Aibu? I've honestly had 12 hours sleep over the last 4 nights. I'm so tired I feel light headed and he's not showing any consideration. I don't know if I'm not thinking straight because of it. He is leaving before 9 which means I have an hour to sleep. Except I'm so angry at his disregard I'll probably get none. He has backshift later so means I'll be parenting all day and no chance of rest.

@SpeedyDrama
Middle-Aged Utd 😂

So because you had it shit you want all women to have it shit? Lovely.

So threads like this are exactly why I will never start a thread on this site. Here’s how I see it OP: you are allowed to feel how you feel. Unreasonable/reasonable doesn’t come into it. Lack of sleep is horrendous and you’re no doubt feeling like the walking dead by this point. Your husband has not been helpful and now you’ve a long, hard day ahead of you. All I can suggest is do whatever you have to in order to make it through the day. When things are better a proper discussion with your ‘dear’ husband will be needed. Best of luck,

Yes, if you choose to have children, it's usually tough sh*t, innit.

But there is another choice. More excusing of men who can help but choose not to.

Youre quite right about being able to parent alone though. Thats why the op should have made sure he was up and walked out of the house for a few hours. His turn to parent alone as he has nothing more important to do.

You know having kids is a commitment too, right?
I coach/manage a girl’s football team. Sometimes I cannot make a match due to family commitments, so one of the other volunteers takes over for a match or a training session. That’s life.

He chose to have children too.

It is, for both parents. Op has done her part to the point of exhaustion, now it’s his turn.

I wouldn’t have had to ask, OP, my husband would have stayed home and sent me to bed. Yours is being an arse.

As a single working parent with bugger all support, I know what this feels like, although mine are now both independent adults. But I also had the luxury of making all the decisions and parenting in a very consistent way. It sounds like you have the worst of both worlds.

This 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

He sounds like an absolute waste of space, OP, I'm sorry, I hope you get through the day OK.

Who's betting you've never once uttered those words to your DH @Patrickiscrazy I can imagine you this weekend, running yourself ragged. Whilst your DH is at golf, laughing about what an obident little slave he has trained up.

Let me explain, it’s because HE has a sick child, and despite what you may believe, men too have parental responsibilities for their children, shocking I know. OP has already been looking after their child for the last few days and is exhausted and needs sleep, so who do you suggests looks after their child if you don’t understand why dad has to? Would you also say “well I don’t see why mum can’t go to a hotel and sleep all day just because his son has a cold”? I highly doubt it.

Maybe if he’d helped out on Wednesday and Thursday when he was off work, the OP wouldn’t be so exhausted today and would be able to hold the fort while her husband went to football. He didn’t though. You reap what you sow.

The poster who actually wrote that the OP should have planned better when her H was a waste of space earlier in the week and somehow insisted he be less of a waste of space, and because she didn't it's all her fault she's tired now 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

I'm so sorry OP that you've ended up with a shithead who doesn't care about you.

Selfish, but so was my ex who went to watch his beloved football team the day after I came home after an open appendix removal. I had a 1 and 4yr old to look after and was still feeling really crap. His argument was he thought my 15yr old was around to help. Many men are selfish and yours is sadly one of them too

Oh you've got one of those misogynistic, self centred pillocks then :/ Condolences OP. I'll never cease to be amazed at how some men are able to detach themselves from their partners and children - the people you'd think they would love most in the world - to the point they don't see us as equally human.

Exactly. People just love to pile in.

Exactly this!

What kind of scummy bastard doesn’t let his wife catch up on some sleep after being up all night with a sick child?

Hi Op- how is your little one today? Continuous spikes of temp over 40 and being poorly vomiting and not improving etc would need to be seen by a health professional despite advice in this board- I would bypass 111 and just take your little one to the walk in if still unwell? Also you DH is selfish and you have my sympathies

The worst thing, the absolute worst thing about being a mother specifically is the way that other people, including other women, persistently minimise really severe sleep deprivation.

OP, do you have any friends who would come over and sit with him so that you can snooze? Or can you lie on the sofa with him and snooze?

@GreenRaven he’s not being asked to miss football because of a cold, he’s being asked to miss football because his wife is exhausted and needs his support!

I mean you wouldn't be allowed to drive or operate heavy machinery but it's fine to be solely responsible for anything from one to four children on 12 hours' sleep over four nights and you're unreasonable if you expect help. Madness.

I can't believe there are people defending this man. His behaviour is appalling, and so are the comments saying OP just needs to suck it because she's a parent.

Well, guess what, he's just as much of a parent as she is and he needs to step the fuck up and give his wife a break. Football is nowhere near as important as your exhausted wife and sick child, ffs.

Was your husband Alex Ferguson?