Or dh expecting normal service

[Whatevenishapprning]

Ds 4 spiked a 40.4° fever out of nowhere on Tuesday night. I gave him calpol and ibuprofen over the course of an hour but it took til 1.30am for it to start to come down. Little sleep for either of us because he was tossing and turning, obviously uncomfortable for the rest of the night as it was still high 38.
Wednesday night I slept with him to keep an eye and he was OK, but he wriggles alot and isnt great to sleep next to. Thursday night fevers back so another Tuesday night. Last night was the worst, he's got a horrible cough now it's making him gag so he's vomitted 4 times overnight.

This morning dh has football. He's the manager of an amateur men's team. I asked him before 7 to cancel or get someone to come get the equipment. He's point blank refusing and says he is going.

Aibu? I've honestly had 12 hours sleep over the last 4 nights. I'm so tired I feel light headed and he's not showing any consideration. I don't know if I'm not thinking straight because of it. He is leaving before 9 which means I have an hour to sleep. Except I'm so angry at his disregard I'll probably get none. He has backshift later so means I'll be parenting all day and no chance of rest.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

@Whatevenishapprning Being a single parent is hard but being in a relationship like this is even harder. You deserve better. He’s not going to change, he’s disrespectful and you don’t want your DC thinking this is ever acceptable. You’re worth happiness.

My DH goes out of his way to make sure I get what I need with getting rest and feeling supported at home. He helps out with children and house even after doing a night shift.

Your DH is making a choice to act angry and behave mean towards you. No one deserves that. You should feel supported and respected and liked. He’s clearly taking you for granted and doesn’t care how you are feeling / coping.

I hope you get the opportunity to voice how it’s made you feel and that you are listened to. I couldn’t deal with the selfish behaviour and being ignored would just push me over the edge. He’d be getting a big F Off from me.

Good luck OP!

OP I'm sad to read the updates and see he's just buckling down and pushing it further.

Sleep deprivation is a form of abuse and control you know. 😔 It's used as a form of torture for good reason. It's hard to be strong in the face of adversity when you're fucking exhausted.

I'm heartened to read you're realising life can be different and you want better. You deserve so much better than this.

Get that DLA claim in. Cerebra have a really good parent help guide. I'd advise you type each "box" on the form as a word document so you can add and edit each bit before you put it on the actual paper form. It sounds like the senco at school could be supportive with the process too. Don't mention it to him, just get it done and sent off, and start to plan mentally for things being better.

I hope you do manage to get DLA and UC and everything else in place and leave him. He's horrible, and it does sound like life would be easier and less stress without him. Presumably you'd be entitled to some CMS from him too?

Your children sound absolute sweethearts making you that gift bag full of stuff.