Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

This genuinely made me laugh for the first time in days. Thank you!

I will be on Sunday, with my family, very mch looking forward to celebrating me

With you on most of it. I wouldn't like my birthday or DH's to pass completely unacknowledged: a quiet meal out and a small gift is fine, though, no big parties or brouhaha.

All the rest can go to the dogs for me. I have no interest in any of it.

Nope, I’m looking forward to my cup of tea in bed (and possibly a new jar of moisturiser). Otherwise the day will pretty much be as normal (hopefully a call from DS who’s at uni).

@SerafinasGoose Father's Day is a "created" event but it was created in 1910. So not exactly new.

To be fair, I love reading the pictures mother's day post of adult women crying cause their husband burnt the toast and only got her tulips when she wanted carnations.

No, it is. Hallmark may have co-opted it and invented a matching Father's Day, but it originates from the Christian festival of Mothering Sunday, which is why it changes so wildly year to year (it's the third? Sunday in Lent).

I only ever see this drama on mumsnet. Never happens to people I know in real life, I think that’s your answer, many mumsnetters are too high maintenance

I started a new job three weeks ago. I have severe sciatic pain at the moment. All I want on mothers Day is to be left in bed. A lie in and a good rest.

Don't care for anything else. Though I know DC aided by DP will get flowers and a card for me, too. DP will cook a nice meal.

I don't see it as an important day and wouldn't care if it was banned.

MNHQ should set up a temporary subforum where all posters can take their Mother's day angst and be amongst like minded folk 😀

Men, or more like dads, should be doing better every day. A marginal thoughtfulness once a year doesn’t cut it anyway. A dad/ partner who pulls his weight daily won’t be flamed for a lousy Mother’s Day anyway.

For the life of me I will never understand why people put so much stock in ONE particular day of the year to celebrate (or be celebrated for) something completely bog standard, and that has to be the same day as everyone else.

If your loved ones show that they value you the other 364 days of the year, and if they treat you/make a fuss of you/do nice things for you spontaneously and frequently, there will be no need to place any importance on Valentine's Day or Mothers' Day.

DP and I take each other out for meals and buy each other chocolates (or... cheese pasties, which I prefer) all year round. The idea of specially doing it on Valentine's Day when every boring basic couple up and down the country is doing it seems both pointless and cringe.

Quite, Christmas, Valentines, Easter, Halloween, all birthdays over the age of 18, wedding anniversaries, endless list.

My advice about the associated strife all these occasions seem to lead to is a) don't be a doormat b) talk to people in advance about what you/they expect and want, with the caveat that compromise should involve everyone and c) Insta perfect does not mean perfect.

My own mother doesn't have high expectations, so this isn't a reflection on her, but I would be glad if the whole concept poofed out of existence. It's a nice idea when you have younger children, but as an adult it's just another thing you 'have' to do on someone else's schedule, and if you don't then you feel like a bad person.

And that "MILs are not the most important mother" thread looks absolutely horrifying, if that's the kind of thought that this commercialised crap drives people to, then yes, ban the fuck out of it.

Can’t abide people who demand things are ‘banned’ ! Christmas, Easter, world book day, any celebration of any kind… it’s boring.
Just don’t take part!
Opt out.

Eh??? Poor men, always getting blamed for something. The gist of lots of the Mothers Day threads on here is usually that some poor bloke is between a rock and a hard place with his mother and his wife and can't please either of them. Personally, I like the consideration that my husband shows to his mum on Mothers Day (and every day) as evidence of a good man and a good son. He's not my child, so why would he do anything in particular for me on Mothers Day? Our kids may learn from his example and mark Mothers Day when they're older though.

Its a bit sad calling women high maintenance for wanting a bit of recognition, given how many threads on aibu are about women bring marginalised, over worked and under valued

I don't think it should be banned. The drama largely comes from the tendency to overinflate events- think the fuss about so-called 'big birthdays' as another example.

What there should be is a recognition that it is not something everyone can celebrate. I know of someone organising an event for those for whom it is not a celebration, and admire her for doing this.

Yes please ban it - I've found it to be very disappointing.

And Valentine's Day can go too.

Finally, if social media influencers were to all spontaneously combust tomorrow. Remember, just like advertisers of the old days, their job is to make you feel inadequate so that you will buy something.

Not sure who you’re following but none of the ones I do make me feel that way whatsoever nor do I feel forced to buy anything from them.

I swear posters forget that AIBU forum is going to be full of people who are usually not happy/satisfied about something and often that is not a complete reflection of society or even many people’s experiences. I definitely know family angst exist regardless if there is a holiday or not but some posters going straight to banning as if that is going to eliminate such issues is silly. It is an anonymous forum and many will always feel comfortable airing out their grievances to strangers (not much different to people choosing to tell strangers their life issues and stories in a public setting) while not actually voicing it to those who they are upset at or needing advice from outsiders on how to handle things because those they actually know are too close or biased.

Besides, if such threads annoy posters so much, they could just ignore them and keep scrolling.

Banning it is just as over-dramatic as getting upset about it. Celebrate it if you want and how you want. If your family don't give a shit about things that are important to you, tell them. And don't make such an effort for things that are important to them. Or... decide it's not worth making a fuss about it. Maybe find a happy medium that isn't either demanding things or banning them.

It doesn't need to be banned, you can simply choose not to celebrate i. Even if it was possible to ban it, the sort of people who get upset about Mothers Day would simply find some other reason to be offended by their partner or children.

I send my mum a card and some flowers as she lives 200 miles away. mIL is local so we pop round with a card and flowers. If my mum lived local, we'd probably just all go out for breakfast as everyone gets on (thankfully) but we never make a big fuss.

I don't understand all the elaborate things people do or TBH why there needs to be a day to celebrate your mum. I treat my mum at various points in the year. It's the same as valentine's day - I don't need someone to designate a day when I can shower my DH with love and gifts. I don't love him any more on valentine's day than I do on the other days of the year.