Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

😂😂 don’t give them ideas.

I agree.
Lets celebrate Women's day instead. Not everyone is a mother or has a mother they get on with

Are we also 'banning' xmas, father's day, Easter and any other family oriented days or holidays that might cause friction for some people?

I love mother's day 😊Leave it alone !

Now that’s dramatic.

By that logic as pp have said, ban any holiday that involves families getting together.

Mothering Sunday was to worship your mother church. Over the decades, it has evolved to celebrate mothers and motherlike figures if the person doesn't have their mother alive or isn't in contact.

Working at a supermarket, sick of the flowers we sell. Physically sick as some of the flowers have scented stocks which trigger asthma. Then sell so much crap which you see in charity shops as the mothers don't appreciate another mug with Lovely Mum on it.

Not everybody is a woman 🤷

I agree with you. It's getting silly. I'm happy with a card drawn by the kids. Then we use mothers day as an excuse to go out for lunch, or tea and cake or whatever. To be honest, we usually do this most weekends anyway.

How about people just grow up and learn to manage their relationships, and make sound financial decisions?

That way, no one would fall out or be upset, no one would overspend and we can all have a nice Sunday?

This is my first Mother's Day without my Mum. I'm finding it hard. I still don't want it banned, and my MIL has been very understanding that I want to spend it with my sister and my own very young children. We are taking her out for lunch next week instead and I know she doesn't mind postponing a single bit because she knows we appreciate her all year round. My DH will get me a small appropriate gift from my kids, and help them make a card. Done.

It would all be okay if:

Married couples actually spoke to each other about their needs and expectations like grown adults instead of needy teenagers.

Grownups got over the idea that their loved ones need to make a huge fuss over them at every occasion or otherwise they don’t love them. It’s very childish and exhausting.

Everyone got it out of their heads that it has to be celebrated on the day itself - if you’re trying to accommodate moms and MILs and siblings etc it’s unlikely to work and several mini celebrations might be easier. No such thing as too many lunches/teas!

Finally, if social media influencers were to all spontaneously combust tomorrow. Remember, just like advertisers of the old days, their job is to make you feel inadequate so that you will buy something.

I disengaged with mother's day when I was about 17 when I cooked Sunday lunch including dessert for my family and grandparents & great aunt and my mum was annoyed I hadn't bought her some tat like my little sister had.
Since then she has had a card and some supermarket flowers.

I wouldn't ban mother's day but I wonder how many people would do anything if there was a ban on sharing mother's day on social media. I do love the "look how wonderful my husband is, and look at what he has done for mother's day" posts when I know the 3 months earlier he had walked out on her and the two kids because he "needed a break", they haven't shared a bedroom since the youngest was conceived and she frequently says "he's a dickhead isn't he" but sure he successfully managed to make coffee toast and not maim two children in the process. The other 360odd days of the year this is too big of a challenge to even contemplate trying.

We do a small pot plant for mother's/father's day. The plant I got from my first mother's day sprung back into life after being dormant for the winter a few weeks ago. It brought a smile to my face 3 years later and I love it.

YANBU. It was fine when it was just some crappy card that the kids made for you at school, plus the sheer unlooked-for joy of your grungy teen buying some flowers for you unprompted and unexpected.

Now it has gone full-on actual bananas, and none of it means anything except ker-ching and passive aggression.

My mum hasn’t celebrated. I don’t celebrate. I expect a lie in once a weekend, same as Dh.
it’s liberating, especially seeing how people don’t actually appreciate their mothers on Mother’s Day, they are just going through the motions.

@DinnaeFashYersel should we also ban Christmas and birthdays?

Like many traditions and festivities, Mothering Sunday began with a religious purpose. Held on the fourth Sunday in Lent, exactly three weeks before Easter Sunday, it was a originally a day to honour and give thanks to the Virgin Mary, also known as Mother Mary. Such celebrations required people to visit their 'mother' church - the main church or cathedral in a family's area. The spread of Christianity throughout Europe in the 16th century increased the celebrations and firmly put Mothering Sunday on the calendar. It was believed to be essential for people to return to their home 'mother' church to make it a true family honoured occasion. The gatherings reunited families and gave children who worked as domestic servants, or as apprentices away from home (from as early as ten years old), the opportunity to have the day off to join their family and see their mother.

Throughout the year in England and Ireland people would regularly and devoutly visit their nearest chapel, their 'daughter' church, whereas on Mothering Sunday, as well as baptisms, people would visit their 'mother' church loaded with offerings of thanks. Such celebrations were similar to, and most likely adopted, the Roman ceremonies of the Mother Goddess. The religious day increased its scope from thanking Mother Mary to a 'mother' church celebration and finally opened up as an occasion to thank and appreciate all mothers; thus creating Mothering Sunday.
Whilst the day had a firm following for many centuries since the 16th century, by 1935 it started to decrease in popularity and was celebrated less and less in Europe, until WWII. The Americans and Canadians celebrated Mother's Day during the war, feeling a crucial need to give thanks to their mothers whilst away at war. The Brits and other Europeans followed their comrades and they too gave thanks to their mothers; since then it earns pride of place on the UK calendar.

For the religious roots element.

But in America - their MD is in May.

I say ban them all....

mother's day
father's day
valentines day
birthdays (after 18)
hen parties/bridal showers/stags
baby showers

anything that involves one adult individual in a family being made a fuss of. banned. get rid of the drama, expectations and waste of money

also pointless gift giving on various holidays. again transactional and waste of money/time not to mention bad for the environment.

I find so much of it superficial and fake

I quite like Mother's day!
I see my own mum the day before as she lives quite some distance from me.
When my children were little their dad used to hype up the fun with buying treats and the boys loved saying they had picked them for me. We all used to go out for lunch and have a nice relaxed day.
These days both lads have their own homes and I am divided by the two!!
I go out for lunch with one and go out for dinner in the evening with the other two. Sometimes my Son's in Laws join us and we all go out and have a meal together. It is rather lovely.
There's no drama. I always get a lovely present and the precedent was set by DH years ago on how to treat me.

Any of these occasions come with a self pitying whinge fest on MN.

Going by that, we should do away with Christmas and birthdays too cos there are men out there who don't give a shit about their wives and partners and do a crappy job meaning the women complain on MN. And using this thinking, how many threads do we see women complaining that their men do the dishes and every other house chore badly? We should just not expect them to look after the kids or do the housework.

I wish you'd banned Mother's Day before I ordered flowers for mum and mil. Too late to cancel now but at least I'll save next year. Cheers op

Baby showers are urgh. Had friends who decided that they didn't want the BS over a BS. Yet their friends thought how dare they..

It's the mother of the unborn that decides these things, not sisters, not friends etc.

If we can't moan about mothers day on mumsnet where can we?

I didn't even know it was coming up so soon until I saw an angsty thread about demands being made, and care less. 'Fathers' Day' wasn't even a thing until recently. My own mum didn't have time for it either; she'd have far rather I got her a new plant (rather than flowers) sponteneously and because I happened to be thinking of her, not on a duty-bound day. Nor do DH and I bother about Valentine's Day. We have a wedding anniversary to celebrate.

It's just a marketing drive and I don't feel the need to have a day marked out for DC, DH and I to show how much we care about each other. We already know.

I'm always buying myself little treats, I'm a lone parent, l work really hard, I've done a good job, my advice is celebrate yourself, often.