Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

@Julimia yes but it's nice to have variety. Do you really want to live in a society where every day is exactly the same?
Boring!
It's nice to change with the seasons and have celebrations and events to look forward to. Otherwise what's the point of life really?

Yes where people value and treat people properly every day. Nothing boring about that.

@Julimia there's a difference between valuing people and treating them properly (which I agree - should be always if they are good people) and having a celebration once in a while.

🤔 have you not got a nice daughter in law?

It doesn't have to be either or, of course we definitely all should be giving thanks and making a fuss of our own mothers, but in our family we lead the way on mother's and father's days and make an effort to show up for each other as well. We buy for and visit our mom's and also take our grandparents a card and gift. Every mother/father (including ourselves) get recognised in our house because they deserve it. , it's not Your Mother Only Day.

Oh yes I don’t mean that at all!

yes I do have a mother in law and we see her on Mother’s Day, I get my kids to do cards for both their grannies and if I had grannies still alive I’d do cards for them.

what I mean is on Mother’s Day I’m not manufacturing my own day out from my husband and kids just to put on instagram - I’m not focusing on me on Mother’s Day, I’m focusing on my mum/MIL.

in ref to the original post, so many posts on mumsnet are basically complaining that Mother’s Day was not ‘special enough’ for THEM - but I always wonder how much thought did they put it to making it special for anyone else? I have a lot of friends that go out for family meal on Mother’s Day… WITHOUT their mum/MIL!

and no I don’t have a daughter in law yet, but when my sons are bigger and if I ever have daughters in law yes it would be nice if they’d send a card or include me in their plans.. can’t force them to but hopefully as they’ve grown up with me thinking about my mum, as I grew up with my mum doing the same, they will…

Isn't it what people make of it and their expectations?

I understand what you mean, I find the social media stuff really tactless tbh I have many friends who don't need to see an over share about how lucky I am on mother's day. Many have lost their mums, some have lost their children, some are having fertility issues and some have terminal illnesses and are preparing their family for the future some are just scarily broke financially....it's a heartbreaking eye opener into how no one knows what is going on for others and my ego can live without people thinking I'm adored and spoilt by my children.

I say all this but I do feel that not all people who complain about not having enough fuss are being shallow, if they feel under appreciated in their marriage and by their children and in life in general, its not a good place to be. Whilst there are undoubtedly bigger problems to have, no one should have to settle if they aren't aligned with their partner and don't feel happy. Totally a private matter though x