Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

It’s the same for Xmas and birthdays, loads of friggen drama, the site fills up with it. My present isn’t good enough, I didn’t get a present, he didn’t make an effort, he didn’t make enough of an effort. I spent more on them than they did me blah blah.

personally I love Mother’s Day, and always feel very special so am lucky, but I don’t expect or want much, same for birthdays and crimbo. I state what I want with a link. Can’t be arsed with all the test setting to see if they get it right.

No…
there’s drama on here after valentines, Mother’s Day Christmas etc….
there’s always stories of hubby not bothering, mother in law buying everyone expensive gifts except OP etc etc….
I think Mother’s Day is what you make it… if you marry a useless man that doesn’t bother, then you have to except that you’ll be taking DC to buy your own gifts…
I’ve always taken my DD to a shop and she chooses me a card and present and takes it to till and I just give her the cash or my card…

BUT I also did put in no effort on his birthday or Father’s Day in return…. I’d take her to get a card and bar of chocolate or something just so she felt good about buying him something! But never made any massive effort.

problem is some women make huge gestures for their partners and when it’s not reciprocated get upset … but rather than learn from it and make less effort themselves they carry on making huge gestures then carry on setting expectations knowing they’ll be disappointed!

I get nothing on Mother’s Day as my grown up kids don’t bother , if I’m lucky I’ll get a text .. the younger DCs have no money … just another day for me most likely visiting my dying father in hospital

Agree.
for me Mother’s Day is about spending time with my lovely DD…. My mum and elderly Nan… 4 generations together celebrating! My DD usually gets me a bar a chocolate or similar and sit and share it ❤️

Take it nobody buys you anything? It's so sad how bitter people who are unhappy with their own lives, get so angry when others are happy.

I hate it. My mum was abusive in multiple different ways and I don't have kids. It's endless drivel on here complaining about nothing and Facebook "best mum ever so lucky" posts.

I also work internationally so I have to suffer it twice a year since mother's day is different in the UK compared to everywhere else.

@Wills890 thank you for your kind words

Yeah but this is MN, back in the real world things jolly along quite normally with no drama.

I don't ever remember my mother, grandmother, great grandmother or aunts acting the way some people do about mother's day and how it has to be filled with gifts, dinners out and perfection.

I really do think a lot of it is due to social media.

It doesn't have to be such a fuss. I still get a card and a £1 bunch of daffodils from DC and they are in their 20s. It is our tradition and I wouldn't want it any other way.

It is a Christian holiday, Mothering Sunday changes every year in line with Easter.

Like everything else, it’s what you make of it. If you tell yourself it’s going to be a fiesta of epic proportions, then chances are you’ll be disappointed. If you think it’s just a day, with some historical significance, then life just ticks along and it’s all fine.

I have no partner and my kids have SN. It's unlikely I will get anything for Mother's Day. Some people are just spoilt and should be embarrassed by their Veruca Salt style tantrums. I don't include people with genuine issues in their family, just those who don't know how to check their privilege and count their blessings.

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
The list goes on and on

How do the posters know that the partners aren't planning a surprise?

Aibu is full of stuff and I don't understand or get, from complaints about weddings, to scratched cars and eating someone else's snacks. Everyone has different stuff thst is important to them, doesn't make them 'spoilt', just different

Don't forget those who have lost their mums. I feel sad for my friends who don't have their mums anymore

this is exactly why I am now so fed up of it all

everything has become a competition and an exercise in showing off

people are more focused on having an ego boost rather than expressions of genuine love and appreciation

Is it? I thought it was just some Victorian social construct to give women a single day off.

And meanwhile there’s a group of people dreading it because they’ve lost their own mother, but quietly getting on with things. One day some of these posters will wonder why on Earth they got so worked up about it

I think people likely bit their tongue, and silently seethed with a smile on their face and many still do but on forums like MN, they can be honest about how they actually feel.

People come on Mumsnet to moan. Same as Christmas and birthdays and weddings and <insert event here>

Everything is too loaded now and too commercial. It sucks the joy out of simple things. People expect waaay too much. And that’s why they get upset.

It was originally to celebrate the mother church in the area you lived in so that is why it exists. I sympathise on it being painful though.

I sent £3.50 to my son's school and he has come home today with a card and gift. I love my card and my new "Wonderful Mum" mug. That's plenty good enough for me.

Thanks to the staff and volunteers that help the children make something for their mum/carer 🌻

My thoughts are that if you have lived away from your parents longer than you lived with them, then you are likely to be helping them now. So mother and fathers day should be then turned into Sons and Daughters days!

Really?
My husband/child/workplace forgot my birthday; should we ban birthdays?i
Our Christmas isn't as flashy as Instagram tells us it should be; should we ban Christmas?
I have spent years telling my DC that they should focus on whether what they have makes them happy rather than comparing with others and/or wishing for more, and then to give any overage to charities that support those who don't have enough. I'd expect Mothers to take a similar approach.
Mothers' Day is a Christian festival about finding comfort in the Mother Church. It's extended (because of the card companies) to be about saying thank you to your Mum once a year, which is so lovely.
It is not (nor has it ever been) really about whether or not one's partner is thoughtful or our (older) children are thoughtful.
Kids say thanks: bonus! Kids forget, give them a prod next year if it bothers you.
Either way: most churches provide a daffodil for DC to give to their Mums on Mothers' Day. If anyone is that bothered: go to church on Sunday.
OP: YABU