Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

Or people (ie married/partnered couples) should just open their mouths and talk to each other about what in life they want.

Why would you ban it? Simply don't celebrate it if it's not for you.

Yes, I know it's all around you. So is Christmas and bigger festivals. And?

As a species, we should learn to ignore stuff that's not good for us as individuals, and let everybody else get on with it.

The first post has nailed it!

I quite like it but there are no high expectations. I get a card from each adult child flowers and they come here and we have a takeaway together. No mother or mother in law now but we'd go to visit on the Saturday before with a card and flowers. Now I organise a card and flowers for dd1 from dgs (no partner to do this) It's all pretty relaxed and the same happens with Father's day so no angst there either.

@DinnaeFashYersel Mother's Day in the UK (and possibly other countries) has it's origins in Christianity. It's part of Lent. It's actually called Mothering Sunday. A day that people would return to their mother church. For people that lived away from their families this would probably be combined with visiting their actual human mother.
Hence it developed into what we mostly call Mother's Day.

If you banned things on the basis that people that people make a drama about them on MN, pretty soon you'd have banned everything.

I'm not in favour of banning anything, but I agree that people do make a ridiculous fuss about it (ditto Christmas, adult birthdays, Valentine's Day).
Maybe just opting out would be better?

It’s like any occasion…you opt in or you don’t

If we are banning things that cause drama on mumsnet, there will very little left.

Indeed, we should ban parent and child parking bays if that's the criteria.

Some people have wildly high expectations and set themselves up for disappointment. It's quite comical to watch a grown woman have a tantrum because they didn't get a three day spa break for Mother's Day though.

Just eat the cold toast, hug your kids and tell them you love them. That's all it needs.

Why shouldn't I have a happy nice day because of some dramatic people?

Might as well ban all the special occasions and celebrations!

We need to strip back every 'Day' in my opinion, and lose the likes of baby showers while we're at it.

This is a big driver of the drama I think - everyone wants an insta Mother’s Day now so they can show off on SM. Or they see everyone else showing off on SM and feel shit 😬. Come off SM and you won’t feel bad 😄

It shouldn’t be banned. People just shouldn’t expect a huge song and dance about it! A little tiny bit of effort is nice, but I don’t see why it’s a huge deal to see MiL for an hour or to not get an extravagant gift.

I’m happy with breakfast or dinner being made for me (home or out, anything is fine), and a small gift (chocolates and wine). That’s what we always did for my mum, and basically the same as I do for my partner on Father’s Day - make a card, small gift, cook a meal.
My partner will be at work all day so for the most part it’ll be a completely normal day for us (ds is 23mo!). We also don’t celebrate (or even acknowledge) Valentine’s Day. I do remind my partner Mothers Day is coming up a week or so in advance!

I once completely forgot British Mother’s Day when I lived in the US (different day there). I told her she’d get celebrated on American Mother’s Day as I was embracing the culture!

Maybe you should ban the people who turn it into a drama.

@Houseplanter I like the various "days" throughout the year as it makes you focus on the changing seasons and gives reasons to plan for the future and look forward.
People need events (rituals/holidays etc) to focus on otherwise what is the point of life? We shouldn't live every day identically. We should celebrate moments and adapt to the seasons.
HOWEVER.....I don't think people have to be so commercialised about it and should keep things modest.

Of course it shouldn't be banned. Those that find it a bore don't have to participate!

I like MD because I invite as many of my kids as can come over for a big Sunday Dinner - I sometimes haven't seen them since Christmas and it's a nice distance from Christmas to have a big cooked meal together. We have no 'early in the year' birthdays as an excuse, so we use this as a chance to get together and eat and have a catch up. So, from that point of view (ie, mine) YABU.

But the whole SM frenzy for showing the ENORMOUS bouquets and days out and restaurant meals and fabulous presents can get in the bin. A big dinner, a collective dog walk and some laughing is good enough (for me).

I think we've agreed here.. I don't mind the Days, I just think they're completely over done

No drama here. I got a card in the post from dd. No gift but she’s a poor student 😭 so that’s the way it it. DH will organise a card and something small from the 2 younger ones. Ds19 will ‘forget’ cos that is what he does at every occasion. It’s just another Sunday then really.
I wouldn’t care if all these hallmark days were not a thing. Birthdays and Christmas is enough.

Christmas is worse.

'I gave everybody thoughtful expensive presents and am now bankrupt as a result. The only present I got back was an unwashed sock, and it was the wrong size. WIBU to scale back next year?'

'MIL gave me one less roast potato than everyone else. I couldn't say anything as I was too upset. WIBU to go NC?'

'I put up the Christmas tree and decorated the house on 1st September and it was great to begin with but we're all bored with it now and it's not even Halloween. How can I make Christmas magical?'

This.
But like everything, Christmas wasn’t about presents and Easter wasn't about chocolate…my granny used to say the children picked a bunch of primroses and took them to church, not their mothers.

If we start banning things that some people enjoy just to please all the miserable bastards, what joy is left in the world? Take part or don't take part, don't spoil it for others. Some people do t enjoy Christmas...it's not going to be banned is it.

Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, hen dos, Christenings and father's day should also be banned, if that's your reasoning.

Good idea. We don’t celebrate it and I’m
so glad that is the case when I read all the Mumsnet drama surrounding it.
I couldn’t believe the huge flower/gift displays at Tesco and M&S yesterday.