Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

I remember the last time we celebrated Mother's Day... it was about 14 years ago.

My (ex)husband, my brother, my sister in law, my children, my maternal grandmother, my mum and I all went out for lunch to a nice pub.

The pub were giving out small gifts of bath bombs to the mothers.

We got there and the staff asked how many mothers were dining with them today. My mum immediately replied with a loud and cheery, "Just the one. Me!" 😅

That was obviously not true. The rest of us just 🙄🙄🙄

At the end of the meal, my mum, grandma, sister in law and I were all given the gift.

My mother was a bit put out that her mother and I had been acknowledged (because it was her special day) but absolutely outraged that my sister in law was included as she wasnt 'even a mother' 😅

It's a tad ironic how close mothers day is to international women's day - the latter to celebrate women, the former - just be grateful for what you've got and stfu

i think, like a lot of things, it’s become too big a deal & too commercial. I don’t care about a big pile of gifts, but inevitably I get one, because “thats what you do”. DH huge for the sake of it so I have 50/50 stuff I will use and enjoy/stuff that I will never use & will sit in a cupboard for eternity! I am happy with some nice handmade cards from the kids from school & the daffodils that came back last week from Beavers, along with a day spend with my boys! I would like to have less mundane chores to do for a day, but hey ho 🤣

Just don't do the mundane chores

It isn't a religious thing at all

Anna Jarvis, who founded Mother's Day in 1908, passionately opposed its growing commercialization and eventually campaigned against the holiday.

No need to ban it but would be lovely of it was swapped with Fathers Day so we might at least have a chance of some nice weather on MD 🤔😊

Agree @KTMeetsTheRsUptown

Mother’s Day was originally about visiting your mother church .

How about we all just personally decide whether or not to celebrate it? Just like Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc. But then don't complain if you've chosen not to celebrate and noone gets you a gift!

Turned out much better than I thought. All three got in touch and one even sent flowers. 😀😀

I don't usually bother but for some reason i've decided to take full advantage today! I've let my husband and my daughter (nearly 14) make me lunch, and my husband is cooking dinner. I got handmade chocs (which they had to drive something of a distance to get from a particular shop; the box is made up of my faves) and a few other thoughtful wee gifts too.

So i'm saying yabu, because i'm actually really enjoying it today.

It feels a lot of pressure for what is supposed to be a gesture of appreciation.

Weve thankfully had a nice easy one this year - DP and I are very much on the same page with it all so couple of hours spent individually with our own mothers separately, then back home, jamas on and planning a takeaway later on with our DC.

Must admit though I got some lovely gift this year (organised by DP) which I never ask for or expect, so a lovely surprise.

Totally agree. Its ridiculous. Spending it with your children. Their effort of breakfast, and a home made card. You are not your partners mother

@Scattercushiony - i Think it’s great that people find joy in everyday small things.

it’s a shame you find this depressing. I find these things lovely too.

What would be suitable for you? What should our expectations be?

It’s based on when Easter is. MD is 3 weeks before Easter. Next year Easter is late and MD is around 30th March

My dh is not my dad, I still make sure he has a great father's day, its not difficult

YABU. Most people in RL manage an ok Mother's Day. I don't think Mumsnet relects this, somehow! Everything has to be about the drama here! 🙄

I mean both days should celebrate women, without the hand wringing that women should be grateful baloney

Today is both Mother’s Day and my mom’s birthday.

I am 39 weeks pregnant (first baby). Woke up this morning, DH hadn’t thought to get me a card or a little box of choccies just to say thanks for growing his child. Not a big deal really and I don’t know why I expected him to at least say “happy Mother’s Day” but something would have been nice.

Thoroughly miserable and hormonal, I waddled to mom‘s house with birthday and Mother’s Day cards and presents.

Found her still in bed, fuming after an (inconsequential) argument with my Dad. Went downstairs, made us cups of tea, brought gifts and tea upstairs and hopped into bed with her to watch TV and complain about men. we both felt much better - perhaps this is the true meaning of the day!

Well i love to get a present or something..but i never get anything because my H is an asshole and never organises anything.

But i hate preachers that post about celebrating your mother, i lost my mum so make sure you visit yours etc etc.....bit shit to hear when you are NC when your mum is a bitch

People only post if something has pissed them off, they aren’t the majority

Yes it should be banned, same as fathers day, too much pressure on it all and why! Your kids should appreiate you whatever day it is and do nice things as and when, not when the card companies choose a date to make money. Then its really hard for those who can't have children, or lost a child, or a mother.

International womens day much more relaxed and inclusive.

okay, not by hallmark but it has religious origins dating back to the middle ages

https://inews.co.uk/light-relief/mothering-sunday-what-meaning-mothers-day-uk-date-different-us-explained-1540566#:~:text=The%20origins%20of%20Mothering%20Sunday%20lie%20in%20the%20Middle%20Ages,way%20mothers%20are%20celebrated%20today.

The commercial element comes largely from the U.S.

Over 11 years ago, I lost a baby just before Mother’s Day. At the time our family with young kids always met for a pub lunch for Mother’s Day and one of my most vivid memories is not being able to handle the thought of being with the mothers or handling the fact I had been asked. I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide.

I never saw it the same way again really. In fact…every year since I declined the invite even though I now have kids.

I detest the enforced pressure.

I buy my mum a card, and my sons
make me a card and my husband and sons usually cobble
something nice at home. No
idea why I’m telling you all really, nothing against big happy gatherings just this one day sends me to somewhere in my brain.

Whatever you didn’t or didnt do, it’s over now.