Mothers Day should be banned

[DinnaeFashYersel]

Thread after thread on here with Mothers Day drama and grief

Partners who haven't made any plans
Partners whose plans aren't WOW enough
Mothers v MILs
Mothers v Mothers and MILS
Partner isn't making plans for mother of unborn baby
Blended family dramas
The list goes on and on

Post Mothers Day will have the threads

He forgot
It was rubbish compared to the elaborate day he got for Fathers Day
MIL spoiled it
Etc

Its not worth it. It seems to be make so many people unhappy and angry and we'd be better off without.

YABU: its a cherished and important day, how dare you even ask
YANBU: ban it and save us all from the grief and drama

Full disclosure: I celebrate it to the extent that my kids will serve me tea and (burnt) toast in bed. Otherwise its a normal day. And of course I know it won't actually be banned. Its just a discussion.

I’m so sorry for your loss, sending love to you ❤️

I found Mother’s Day really, really difficult for the first few years after my beloved mum died. I used to spend time sitting in the crematorium on the day as it helped me and then hugging my dc lots. It’s still hard but has a well worn edge to it now like glass in the sea, and go with how I feel.

Be kind to yourself and take time to just breathe ❤️❤️

You could use the very same reasoning to argue banning birthdays / birthday celebrations.
Same goes for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, wedding anniversaries etc.

There will always be partners that forget. Or partners that don’t listen, give awful gifts etc. Conflict with the inlaws, different family members etc. is incredibly normal as well.

“Why do we have to spend Christmas with your family? Why can’t we visit my family on NYE? Can’t we have a family free Easter?”

So yes, yabu. And I honestly don’t understand the focus on Mother’s Day. Why?

You want to ban a national day because of the posts on a website?

Crikey, what are people’s expectations? My kids are 5 and 2, and I was thrilled with a lie in til 8:30, a couple of cards the kids had made at school/nursery and a promise of some time to myself this afternoon! My husband did actually sort a small gift and a bill’s brunch and I found this amazing! A rest, a card, cuppa made for me and a couple of hours to do my own thing is really all I want….

Crikey, what are people’s expectations? My kids are 5 and 2, and I was thrilled with a lie in til 8:30, a couple of cards the kids had made at school/nursery and a promise of some time to myself this afternoon! My husband did actually sort a small gift and a bill’s brunch and I found this amazing! A rest, a card, cuppa made for me and a couple of hours to do my own thing is really all I want….

im glad you’re happy but to me this is really depressing. Time to yourself, tea made for you, small lie-in, husband booking lunch? These should be normal things in life not once a year.

Amen to that!
I'd rather be generally appreciated through the year than be overly compensated on one day just because it's expected and I might get annoyed if it doesn't happen on a grand enough scale .
Same goes for the ridiculous Valentines Day

I think what you’re forgetting here is the difference between the small representation of posters on Mumsnet and the much, much bigger pool of others who are having a drama-free day🌷

Today is going to be a lovely day for me and my mum with my 2 DDs. I don't have a MIL so that's one less thing to worry about 🤣. My mum sorted cards and some lovely little gifts from my girls and this afternoon we are going to grandma's for a takeaway. I've spoilt my mum as she does so much for us.

God forbid a man considers his actual mum anytime on Mother's Day!

@SleepingStandingUp thank you both for your kind words. ❤️

I’m sulking and ready to dump the whole thing.

Kids are little so it’s really on DH, he got presents that were ok but not things I wanted. I got a cup of tea in bed. Nothing planned for the rest of the day. I know I should feel grateful for what I got but I just wanted a bit of a fuss made.

Much better in my view to cancel the whole thing, not get hopes up and just have a normal day.

@ManchesterLu educate yourself. Look into the roots of Mothering Sunday when servants were given a day off to return to their Mother Church around Easter time. (U.K.)

@Scattercushiony they are very normal! I just don't expect anything more elaborate than a nice normal day on Mother’s Day!

It absolutely IS a Christian festival (unlike Father's Day, which is a creation of the greetings card industry). That's why we in the UK celebrate it at a different time to the USA. Strictly speaking it is Mothering Sunday (also known as Mid-Lent Sunday) - and it was when people in service were allowed a holiday to visit their Mother Church, and by default would visit their family and mother, and take her a posy of spring flowers picked from the hedgerows .
However, there's no denying that it has now rather been hijacked by the greetings card industry, and is all about buying chocolate and flowers ...

I resent it being March whilst Father’s Day is in June. It’s absolutely pissing it down, can’t go out walking as planned - my birthday was last month and weather same then, torrential rain.

Mothers day should be in summer!! It’s a crap time of year 🤣

We do mother's day for MIL because she is old and because it matters to her. My take on it is that I love my kids and they love and respect me (all early 20s now). We are a good family unit and all get on famously, we never stop talking or laughing when we're all together. They tell me they love me, give me little tokens etc all the time as do I to them. The one day I do not want things from them is on Mother's Day because I'd know they only did it because of what day it is. So it's fake.

hahaha yes it is, it’s the ‘american’ mother’s day in May that was invented by hallmark. HTH

It’s in May for several countries, such as, France, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Germany, Greece, Mexico, Canada, South Africa, Australia, Japan, South Korea, etc.

I’m not bothered tbh, first one DH made a huge effort with matching tops, special vase etc which was lovely as was a lockdown era.

DD is still to young to understand it, maybe next year.
DH is feeling guilty due to his work he forgot to get flowers but I’ve said would rather have a nice meal out later in the week when none of us have work / nursery (if he still insists on doing something )

when DD understands it I’ve said I want some effort then (homemade card, she chooses flowers, breakfast In bed - just sweet family time) but ultimately it won’t bother me, it’s down to her wanting to and asking him for help.

I do get so fed up with seeing all the mushy posts people make when all the other 51 weeks of the year they complain about their Mums / MIL

I feel the same around Valentines tbh !

gotta keep the card and gift industry turning a profit though!

It was not.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/17343360.amp

The idea started in America when a woman called Anna Jarvis held a small memorial service for her own mother on 12 May 1907.
Soon after, most places in America were observing the day and in 1914, the US president made it a national holiday, celebrated on the second Sunday of May.
However, by 1920 Anna became angry at how companies were using the holiday as a way to make money off people by buying gifts, and even campaigned against the government to remove it from the calendar all together.

Think we should be able to celebrate our mothers in our own way and at times to suit us.

A customer said her two sisters fell out last year re MD. As one bought a £25 bunch of flowers from M&S and she criticised the other sister from buying a £1 bunch of daffodils from Aldi. They are still not talking!

I agree it is commercialised a lot. My mum has never done Mothering Sunday. I am not doing it with ds either (he isn’t even 2. Not sure he knows what a Sunday is never mind mothering sunday) with the concession that when it falls on a weekend we have dsd (like last year) we do something so it isn’t too weird for her because her mum celebrates it.

we don’t have dsd this weekend so we have been to church and to soft play and that is that. Normal day.

other half goes all out for his mum. Flowers, chocolates, cards from him and the kids - the lot. That’s his mum and his choice.

my mum and I just let the day pass unacknowledged 😂😂

I think it's nice to have a day to appreciate what our mum's do for us and for our children to appreciate what we do to, yes it should be appreciated all year round but I think it's nice to have a day where mum can maybe take it a bit easier and have someone make her dinner or breakfast instead. I don't need elaborate gifts, a handmade card and a bit of a lightening of the work load for one day is sufficient. My children are 3 and 8 weeks so not old enough for breakfast in bed etc, but as mother's day comes first, my husband will get back the effort he puts in when fathers day comes round lol, I'm not going to get annoyed about it though.

Tbh I would settle for an undisturbed nights sleep where I can wake up or my own accord but think that's a free years of yet lol

Not sure how breakfast in bed is commercialising it