To give up potty training and wait for DS to say he wants to wear pants / use the toilet?

[Comeandeat]

We’ve been trying since November and it’s obviously now march.

I’ve put pull ups on him because I’ve run out of clean trousers. I think with that I’ve decided to leave it. I don’t ever want to initiate it myself again. It’s destroyed me. AIBU just to wait for DS? I don’t even care when that is any more.

He is 3 years and 3 months.

This is not what happens at nursery.

Just give them the potty and ask them to continue the training while he's there. Lots of people do as there needs to be consistency. Just be honest with the staff that DS is proving resistant to potty training. They'll have 100% seen this many times before.

No way are other 3 year olds going to shun your DS for having a poopcident,

Hi @Comeandeat, we really struggled with potty training. Our DD just didn’t seem to get it or really care. We had loads of false starts and then when she was about 3yr and 5m just just got it and it clicked. She is 3yr 10m now and now no longer has accidents etc. She was by no means unusual in her nursery and many weren’t potty trained at 3.

That being said, I don’t think you can wait till they want to as it really has to happen before school!

Some things that helped us

• potty training chart, where she got a sticker every time she used it and a prize when she got to 5 stickers
• letting her pick her own potty
• working with the nursery so we were both saying the same thing.

Good luck, it’s really hard but eventually it will happen and be successful.

You need to take a break. You are obviously very stressed.
You have plenty of time before school. Try again in the warmer months.
As a former nursery worker I know your child is not that unusual and he will get there in the end.

@chiwowowa She really isnt trying her best. She's a well off womam who could easily take the time out to prioritise getting her children potty trained. She admits she keeps them in nappies because it's easier.

Her girls are both bright with good understanding. They'd train easily yet she keeps them in nappies for her own convenience.

Lots of people are leaving training too late because they can't be arsed. Don't assume everyone is trying their best. Lazy parenting is rife these days.

Disgusting post … OP has done nothing of the sort on this thread!

This is simply not true. Why says 2 years and 11 months is too late to potty train?

I honestly think ‘more fool you’ to those who started too early and spent about 6 months trying. What a waste and stress. Like another poster said this is not a boast - but both mine were done and dusted in under a week. Because I waited until they were ready.

And she has 18 months until he starts school. It will click and it will be in the next few months I predict. Just don’t force it.

1000% I would take a break with it all. He would have got it by now if he was going to, and he’ll be picking up on your stress/anxiety about him going in his pants and he’ll just end up with a negative association with it all.

For our two sons we had pottys and toddler toilet seats (the ones with the steps attached) available for use. They both would opt to use it on occasion, usually before bath, and would just sit on it to start, then eventually did the odd wee. So if it was me I would go back to pull ups and just wait until he asks to use it. Once he’s done that for a while then go for the potty training.
Ours both took a weekend to potty train. Persevering for months just for the sake of it is not gonna help you or him. I’m really not understanding the people saying it takes time. It really doesn’t when they’re actually ready for it.

She’s not planning on leaving it for 18 months for goodness sake give over! He’s 3 years and 3 months. She will
take a break as he’s clearly not ready and try again at some point. She has plenty of time. These posts are so unhelpful.

It’s taught me teachers only really care about themselves and not the children.

Despite family pressure from mine being about 18 months, I waited until mine said they were ready. One was just over 3, one almost 4. Both had one day time accident and one night time accident. They got to choose their own pants (they liked the design on them!) and I occasionally asked if they wanted to wear them. Eventually they said yes. No stress, unlike friends from baby group who had tried to force the issue.

Start in the summer when the weather is nicer then you can do it outside if you have an outdoor space) with no pants on, no accidents then. I did it in my parent’s garden!

This child will be 3 years and 7 months by then! It's far too late. It's easier in nicer weather, I admit, but if timing is not on your side like that then you just have to get on with it anyway.

The whole 'wait til their ready' makes my eyes roll.

Kids need to be taught. He's not far off 3 and a half. He likes being in nappies because he is allowed to be in them.

If ditch the potty completely OP and go straight to the toilet.

Parents fart arse around waiting for their nearly school age children to use the loo and wonder why they are never actually 'ready'. Like everything else they need to be taught.

They're* not their

🙄

Well, this would work except he hasn’t been in nappies for four months (except at night.)

So … ?

Wait til he’s ready. The whole, right he’s 3 let’s start potty training isn’t automatically the right thing to do and they’re not all ready.

Did you mean to say 'right he's 3' and not 'right, he's 2'?

I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe sometimes. Since when do people only just start their potty training when a child reaches three?

God alone knows what you must all be spending in nappies. No wonder everyone is broke.

Not really, we can afford nappies comfortably 👍🏻

@Kungfoopandas you alright?

What rubbish.

So you think all children should start potty training at say 2.6 months. Those that aren’t ready you will
spend 6+ months doing this - all the stress and faff. And the result is the same - they finally get it at 3 (or whenever they are ready). If you’d have stopped and waited the end result would be the same only it would have a taken a few days. No child should take months and months to ‘train’.

Those that get it younger were just ready. It’s the same end result!

Like I said both mine were done in a week. No months and months of ‘teaching’ and accidents. Completely different ages. Both boys.

Nobody is suggesting waiting until
they go to school. Only that some children may not get this (usually boys) until they are 3+.

Only the Op said she started at 2
1/2 so if you are going to make nasty little digs you could at least read the thread first .

@Delatron

Yes I understand that

It was more a general comment as it seems to be becoming more common and it's awful for the staff at primary as far as I'm concerned

My DS had problems with doing poos in the toilet and we tried absolutely everything and were at our wits end. I can't remember how old he was exactly (which makes me a bit cynical of parents who can remember exactly when their child now aged 16 was potty trained, lol). Anyway, he suddenly cracked it, announced to an entire wedding party that he had done a poo on the loo, and then kept saying "Of COURSE you can't fall down the toilet!" Problem solved -just a thought!

Oh good lord heaven forbid a child will be in nappies at 3 years 7 months what will the neighbours say!