AIBU to think it’s ok for my DD to walk school?

[alwaysgonnaloveyou]

I have been offered a job but my 9 year old DD (soon to be 10) would need to walk to school alone. It is a mile away. I would need to leave the house at 7.30 to get to work but the out of hours club provided by school doesn’t open until 8. I am a single parent and do not know anyone who would be able to pick her up from our house and drop her off at school. I have a 14 year old DD also who is super sensible but goes to a different school so she would be looking after him until he has to walk to school. Her school is in the opposite direction so she can’t walk her halfway or anything.

Could he not walk from your parents. Most year 6's round here walk alone so it's only 5 months early

Depends on route but our primary always said from start of year 5 so I’m pretty shocked at the responses on here. My dc would have been fine if we’d lived a mile away (we live further due to an air field between us and the catchment school). I’d mention it to the class teacher so they know to be “on it” if dc doesn’t arrive, but year 5s can walk a mile if there’s a sensible route with good crossings.

I think my son definitely came home alone from school at 9. Either went there alone at 9 or 10. Year 5 anyway. But it was half a mile and I was still at home to make sure he’d set off ok. He used to cycle or scoot. There was one busy road with a pedestrian crossing and one slightly tricky road that I taught him how to cross. Whether I would do what you suggest would depend on the route and the child and whether they’re happy and confident about it. I would want to know when they left the house and for them to tell me when they’d arrived at first. If you’re worried you could organise a taxi? Our breakfast club would have been about the same cost as a taxi.

Use your own judgement don't listen to online posters. I cycled to school alone from the age of 11, I'm sure I would have been fine earlier. I also was getting my own breakfast well before then and getting myself ready, albeit with parents checking but you can do that on the phone.
I also hate the whole "it's unfair to expect siblings to help out"...um yeah if you're off drinking and they have to take it upon themselves to work out what to cook for dinner then it's unfair. But expecting general low level helpfulness such as basically being around for a younger sibling for what sounds like 20 minutes a day is not at all unreasonable and I'd argue very good for them. Not to mention difficult to avoid as a single parent I imagine.

You just have to weigh up your child's personality, the route safety/what could go wrong, and what safeguards can be put in place. Eg can you let the teacher know and ask them to call you immediately if she's not there at school start time in case anything happened?

My dad in the 60s walked to school alone aged 4....now that is too young!

Could your daughter walk/bike to before school club with him and then she could go to school from there?

This

I think a lot of posters are missing the point that she will be walking alone at 7.30am

Which is a totally different matter to walking alone an hour later. When there will be lots of people walking to school

Get on the class WhatsApp. Honestly if there was someone on our group, even if I didn't know them well I would help them out once a week. Hell I would even let you save your money on that days breakfast club and take her to school at normal time 🤷🏻‍♀️ particularly given your circumstances

If it is only one day could you pay your year old some extra pocket money to go out of their way and take their sister to breakfast club for 8 am?

I know it's the opposite direction but maybe they still could make it back to their school on time.

I wouldn't like the idea of talking to a child on the phone as they walked as it could make them a target for thieves. You must live in a much safer area than I do.

At 10 I took my 5 year old siblng to school (same school though) and that was a mile walk. Our other sibling would have been 8/ 9 then but left before us as they were too impatient to wait so walked alone. Very few other children/ families walked the same way as most of the catchment was in a different direction. My mum might sometimes have been going to work after we left (can't remember) but not every day.

But that was normal back then.

I didn’t read it like that, I read that the breakfast club is too early so she’d stay at home with her sister until she had to leave for normal school start. Maybe I’m wrong!

edited to say I meant OP had to leave too early for the breakfast club.

No, breakfast club opens at 8am and op has to leave at 7.30, so that’s not an option. Dc will be walking to school at normal time. It’s in the op.

I would actually feel a bit more relaxed about that scenario.

So, yes to leaving at 8.30 in the light with loads of parents and kids about, but no to 7.30am on the dusk with nobody about

Actually the timings aren’t clear. Mum has to leave at 7.30, as breakfast club doesn’t open till 8am she can’t take the child to breakfast club when she leaves.

1 mile is about a 20 minute walk if that, so the child will presumably be leaving for school when the 14 year old leaves for their school.

The 9yo won’t be leaving at 7.30. The Mum will be leaving at 7.30. The big sister will be looking after the 9yo until it’s time for them both to go to school.

It's not actually clear in the OP. I have just read it again.

No, the OP has to leave at 7:30 then the 14 year old would be watching the 9/10 year old until they need to leave, with the 14 year old locking the house. It doesn't say what time the children leave.

Would your parents really not be able to do that other day?

I’ve said no to my 10 year old (older year 5) walking back from school alone which would help my ex with childcare but the major bit I’m not happy with is both of us being 30 mins to an hour away and no back up in emergency. I let her walk home for independence and practice when I’m working from home as I can track her and be with her in 2 minutes if anything happened.

Do you have your own transport? Could you drop her to a friends one day a week?

It wouldn’t be my choice if I could avoid it, but if there really are no other options, I think it would be ok one day a week. I wouldn’t let her speak to you on the phone whilst she is walking to school tho. She could either wander into a road distracted and get hit or get robbed of her phone.

I think for one day a week it’s not ideal but maybe ok; Fine for the 14 year old to be responsible for making sure they both get out the door without setting the house on fire; just under 10 is a little young for the walk really. Some schools don’t allow Y5 to come to school by themselves though- does yours?

I would happily have one of my 10 year old daughter’s friends dropped here at 7.30am one morning a week and come to school with us. Are there any of her friends’ parents you could ask?

Could you book a school taxi that day to take her to school? I used to get a school taxi on days I couldn't get taken to school at that age and was the same distance. That would be a good alternative?

Congrats on the job, OP. Sound like that pay rise will be very welcomed.

If your youngest is leaving when all school/parents are walking, it sounds fine. I imagine that parents will likely invite her to walk along with them. I certainly would if I saw a child in my DD’s class. Do you live quite locally to some of DD’s classmates?

Now, relax and celebrate 🎉 it’ll all work out.

Nope, no way. Not with you being so far away as well.

Both DC can get a taxi together, to drop off youngest at breakfast club and then take oldest onto school. It’s one trip a week. You’re earning a lot more so doable as it’s only until youngest starts secondary. Make sure both have trackers on phones anyway.

Taxis will not take unaccompanied under 14s in my area. Not sure about other areas.

When you get settled in job, ask to start later that one day a week as well, if feasible.

It sounds fine to me. You've said the roads are quiet. If she's sensible and confident, I wouldn't think twice about it. Independence is good for children.

Absolutely this as forgot to say it. Do not keep DC on phone while she’s walking! It reduces the attention on and awareness of surroundings, especially in a young child.

If you don’t want to put both DC in a taxi together, at least get a tracker on 9 year olds phone so you can see where she is.