AIBU to think it’s ok for my DD to walk school?

[alwaysgonnaloveyou]

I have been offered a job but my 9 year old DD (soon to be 10) would need to walk to school alone. It is a mile away. I would need to leave the house at 7.30 to get to work but the out of hours club provided by school doesn’t open until 8. I am a single parent and do not know anyone who would be able to pick her up from our house and drop her off at school. I have a 14 year old DD also who is super sensible but goes to a different school so she would be looking after him until he has to walk to school. Her school is in the opposite direction so she can’t walk her halfway or anything.

What's the walk like - are there difficult roads to cross and how safe is the area? How do you think both kids would feel about it? Is your younger child sensible?

My DS walked to school from just turned ten but it's a village setting and close to school, and he's sensible. I am thinking about leaving his 14-year-old brother to babysit for a few hours soon if they're both in agreement and feel comfortable. I'm also a single parent. I think this is very much an 'it depends' situation.

No, no matter how sensible they are, and maybe most days they could manage it, it’s still very young to cope with anything out of the ordinary. What if something goes wrong at home before they leave, that’s a lot of pressure on your 14yo. What if they don’t feel to well all of a sudden, or they get scared by something? A 10 isn’t best able to cope with that.

I'm all for encouraging independence but I think it’s too young.

It would depend if there was a footpath all the way and other kids walking too.
I live in country so can't but see loads of kids walking when I get to the town .

What is the route like? I'd maybe do a couple of trial runs before you start your job, and see how you get on. When I was 9 my mum started walking far behind me to see how I'd handle crossing roads.

Three roads to cross. All quiet.

How far away would you be if there was a major issue and had to turn back?

If it's only one day, is there a bus? could you book a taxi? you can ask for driver who has their PVG.

No way you can negotiate a later start time that one day a week?

My 11 year old DD started walking to secondary school alone last September but its only 0.3 miles (6-7 minute walk) away and no busy roads. Her primary school was about a mile away and no chance I would have let her walk to/from there alone at 9-10 years old. Too many busy roads, people driving like idiots in a rush, bad weather, dark mornings/afternoons etc.

Try find a childminder or look for another job. It would stress me out so much.

Too young and not fair to give the sibling that level of responsibility before school either.

For one day a week you need to do some digging and finding someone who can walk her in. Or speak to the wraparound care to see if there is a way round this. Or speak to your new employer, to see if they can accommodate you changing hours for one day a week

Your DCs are the same age as mine and I wouldn't do it

I’d be quite surprised if school would be comfortable with this. Particularly the bit where her sister is responsible for getting her to be ready and off to school. It’s happened once or twice at our school in the last few years and it raised a number of concerns and questions about their safety. It also went wrong on a couple of occasions where we ended up with kids that never made it to school as they’d decided to stay at home that day and nobody really knew where they were!
How safe is the walk, is there no other family or friend that walks the same route. That would be infinitely better.

No. I have to start at 8.30.

We have a similar situation.

On the 3 days a week I go into the office, we leave our DSs 12 and 10 to breakfast while DP takes me to work. He then comes back to the house, and takes them to school. (Different schools, but same direction). He's now got a job, not far from me, starting 15 mins later than me, so we were going to start letting them walk to school, but we weren't comfortable in the end. They still have their breakfast alone, but my parents, who live round the corner come to our house at 8.10, lock up and take them to school instead. We think the youngest needs to be in at least y6.

They'd also be walking together and schools are a lot less than a mile away. Dc1 has to walk past dc2 school to get to his.

Is there no way you can just start half an hour later?

If she's happy to walk and it's once a week and it'll be fine. Surely there will be other kids walking, too. She can walk with or near them if she's unhappy. Plus she can talk to you on the phone.

Do some trial runs and see how it goes.

My 10 year old walks 2 miles a day (there and back 1mile) and loves it. We don't have very busy roads and it's a pleasant walk. Haven't had any problems at all and often bumps into some mates and has a nice time chatting. We are at home if he needs us but even when we offer a lift he prefers to walk. Our youngest has asked if he can walk in y5, he'd only be 9 but I think it would be ok. I think if it's one day a week and she's up for the idea then it's an option.

No friends. My parents can’t do that one day as looking after brothers children.

Our eight year old walks a similar distance, its fine, on working days he leaves at a similar time to one of us and his school is in the opposite direction of our places of work.

Depends on the child and the area.

Most kids where I live in Scotland walk to and from school from younger than 9, some from age 5. (My own 2 get the bus and have walked home from the bus stop since the eldest was 6/7).

But I know in England there's a different attitude to to this.

Also..I'm not sure if mumsnet will provide the best answers, some parents are never happy letting their children walk anywhere at any age.

If it is just for one day a week and your parents can be there for the rest could you possibly speak to the school and ask if there is any chance for that one day a week you could drop her off 20-30 mins early for the breakfast club on your way to work? Might be worth a try.

No, I have to be there at 8.30.

If you decide to try it you can get great watches for kids that allow them to phone you. Less likely to get lost than a mobile and ours has a tracking feature so I can see where he is. We live in a very safe area and my DS was allowed to stay after school to play in a park from age 8 and just call me from the watch if he needed picked up early. He sometimes walked to my work after school. Lots of his friends walk to school alone. It depends on your area and how sensible your child is. It terrified me at first but he was very confident about being independent.

Is there a cafe near to school which would be open? I think I would be happier to drop her near school to go to a Costa until breakfast club opens. That way the journey is done. Once in year 6 perhaps just going to the cafe before school.

Even on just the one day? Have you asked the question?