AIBU to think it’s ok for my DD to walk school?

[alwaysgonnaloveyou]

I have been offered a job but my 9 year old DD (soon to be 10) would need to walk to school alone. It is a mile away. I would need to leave the house at 7.30 to get to work but the out of hours club provided by school doesn’t open until 8. I am a single parent and do not know anyone who would be able to pick her up from our house and drop her off at school. I have a 14 year old DD also who is super sensible but goes to a different school so she would be looking after him until he has to walk to school. Her school is in the opposite direction so she can’t walk her halfway or anything.

Me too!!

Why did you turn it down instead of a taxi / childminder / friend?

Yes, please say you've reconsidered. She's almost 10, children start secondary at barely a year older and walk five days a week!

My DD is 9 and our school is a 7 minute walk from our house through a quiet estate. My friend lives on the estate, around a 4 minute walk from me, 2 streets away from the school and theres absolutely no way I'd let my DD walk to school alone

All it takes is ONE wrong un to spot that she was walking the same route on her own everyday, it's just not worth the risk is it? I definetly wouldnt let mine walk a mile on their own

You should be claiming UC. As a single parent you can claim UC and earn upto £50,000 and it doesn't take into account child maintenance.

For a future similar job can you make connections with her school friends parents. I'd be looking into dropping her off to one of her friends house and then they go in together. Obvs pay the parent or return the favour by doing pick ups.

OP, is there something more to this situation? It sounds like it is very doable, unless there’s a significant piece of info missed out?

Or have you been swayed by those who have encouraged you to decline the job - this was a v small minority.

Hope you’re okay anyway.

Or have you been swayed by those who have encouraged you to decline the job - this was a v small minority.

I hope not. Some people on here are very privileged, you could tell from the posts about flexibility and compressed hours that many jobs do not allow. Parents not parenting alone, perhaps with the ability to work from home some days, who don't have to leave children until the teen years could not begin to understand.

Speak to school, they might take her early for extra cash

I really hope you haven't declined the job because of the negative comments, it is perfectly normal and acceptable even in the UK for a 9, nearly 10 year old child to walk to school alone every day, let alone just once a week. If there's some other reason you've had to decline then I'm very sorry, that must be gutting, but if its just about the walking then please tell them you've changed your mind.

I hope you haven't declined due to this thread .

Those who say your year 5 child shouldn't walk to school themselves are the exact same people who say those on a lower wage should get a better paid job .

Wait, what? Why have you declined the job offer? Not because of this thread, I hope. Plenty of people have said it sounds fine for your child to walk to school.

We honestly aren’t doing our children any favours by refusing to allow them to gain independence sensibly.

Why have you declined the job? Surely your dd cpuod walk to school one day a week - a mile is not that far and three quiet roads to cross shouldn't be a problem. Has she no friends you could drop her off with, or aren't there other families from the school nearby you could approach? One day a week isn't that much of an ask for a favour. Perhaps they couid just call for her or meet on the way.

All it takes is ONE wrong un to spot that she was walking the same route on her own everyday, it's just not worth the risk is it? I definetly wouldnt let mine walk a mile on their own

That won’t be any different when they’re 12, 14, 16 though will it?

No, but they're more likely to walk with friends at that age or catch a bus.

I think it’s the distance for me.

I was a 5 minute walk from my primary school and I think 9/10 years is fine for that but 1 mile seems too far.

Goodness this thread is exhausting - there is no real engagement from the OP, as I said earlier - a decent informative OP followed by snippy one liners and refusal to answer relevant questions etc. I am starting to wonder if this is all about the drama......

It's the norm around here where I live for kids to walk to school themselves from the very end of yr 4 and definitely in middle school. But we live in a town so most of the kids live locally and they all walk down together (almost like a walking bus).

If there are no other kids walking, I'd be worried and probably say no.

I really hope you haven't declined the job because of the negative comments, it is perfectly normal and acceptable even in the UK for a 9, nearly 10 year old child to walk to school alone every day, let alone just once a week.

No. It really really isn't normal. Or acceptable. It was in the 80's when lots of kids were walking.

If I saw or knew of a child that age walking alone to school along busy roads on their own, I would flag it as a safeguarding issue.

It's very normal in my town. It was very normal when my teen was that age too.

Sorry to hear that. I was going to say it is very common around here for children 9 and even younger to walk to and from school.

My 9yo hasn’t needed to walk home on her home yet but I’ve let her walk to a friends together most weeks. We live further away from school than most so our journey is a bit longer. She dose walk home from the local pool when I take my youngest, it’s a small walk and she crosses 2 small roads. She walks home at the same time as the closest school kicks out so there are lots of kids and parents around. My DH is home so she rings the ring doorbell and waves to let him know she’s home and he messages me while I’m at the pool.

When my oldest started walking home in year 6 we got her an apple phone so we could track it. We looked at an apple tag but DH was due an upgrade so we could give DD his old phone.

I guess, it depends where you live. I grew up in London where kids travel all over the city for secondary school and often alone. I don’t think being on the bus is any help anyway - the vast majority of unpleasant experiences my friends and I had were on public transport, or being followed by someone getting off the same tube/bus stop.

I would book her into breakfast club and get her to walk in on her own. DS was doing this in year 6 (because he wanted to and it wasn't cool for me to drop him off) and in our area they alow year 4 children to leave on their own with parents permission as we used to be a middle school area and all middle school children year 5&6 would be going to school and home on their own. Often more than a mile away.

And to be honest I would have thought it to young before we moved here. But then when DD started primary and I found they let the years 4 home on their own I was a bit 😳. But it was getting them ready for middle school in year 5. And I just wasn't used to it as hadn't grown up with middle schools. It's actually perfectly fine and totally normal round here.

It’s a school. It’s not a red flag for a school to expect teachers to work during teaching hours and have the school holidays as annual leave.

They walked with friends when my teenager was 9/10. Some of the walk may have been alone for children living further out but there were many others walking as you got closer. Adults around with younger children too. It's not a lone child walking all the way to school with no-one around.

Absolutely fine for a 9 year old to walk to school alone one day a week! It's summer, it's light from 7am, school will ring you if she doesn't turn up. I've not heard of a school which doesn't allow year 6 children to walk alone, so you're only 6 months off what's considered the norm anyway. [As you've not indicated you've got concerns for her actual safety - would be a different answer if you'd said you did]
My only concern would be if she's used to the route and used to walking, but that's easily fixed by walking the route to school in prep (if grandparents are doing the rest of the day, then this may be something to ask them to do too).

Yes there are other things you could consider too (as per other posters, asking if a friends parents would have her for an hour before school, taxis, pocket money for older sibling to walk her to breakfast club, etc).

Call the school (that's offered you the job) back first thing in the morning, say you were very concerned about your own school drop offs, but have managed to work something out, so would love to take the job, if it's still an option!

I know several local parents here who have similar arrangements around 'I will take both girls to school if you drop Bessy off here an hour before school' and 'I'll bring both girls to ours for a bit, and drop them both off at Ballet'. If you're able to offer something in return this will probably be great for another parent who can't finish in time for after school club!