AIBU to think it’s ok for my DD to walk school?

[alwaysgonnaloveyou]

I have been offered a job but my 9 year old DD (soon to be 10) would need to walk to school alone. It is a mile away. I would need to leave the house at 7.30 to get to work but the out of hours club provided by school doesn’t open until 8. I am a single parent and do not know anyone who would be able to pick her up from our house and drop her off at school. I have a 14 year old DD also who is super sensible but goes to a different school so she would be looking after him until he has to walk to school. Her school is in the opposite direction so she can’t walk her halfway or anything.

I think one day a week is ok. But what about when it's dark?
Can you post on local parents Facebook groups or something to find someone you can pay to walk her maybe?

I think it's much too young in terms of your daughter's safety and also because you can't really expect a nine year old to lock up the house properly, turn everything off etc.

Ours is Def year 6 regardless of distance and after-school in winter is pick up only

Can you drop her at another child’s house on the way? Maybe offer them a bit of money for taking her?

What is the route like? I wouldn't let mine because lots of road crossings without a crossing or lights and busy roads but a friend with a simpler walk (and one where lots of friends with parents join up) let's her 7 and 10 year old go together. Could you negotiate a later start or WFH that day?

My school would flag this and wouldn't allow it to continue. We are v strict on safeguarding though and might be okay in other schools. We're in a small town.

This would be fine with me if the child feels confident enough about it.

MN is utterly bizarre on this topic IMO.

Year 5. Can you not read?

Sorry, I've just seen there's a 14 year old as well. I suppose you could maybe trust a 14 year old to lock up, although I wouldn't have been comfortable with my daughter doing it at that age but it doesn't change that your 9/10 year old will still be walking alone for a mile.

Agreed

its actually a bit odd to see so many YABU responses when it’s quite normal irl

I agree, utterly bizarre!

My DD used to walk a mile home when she was in year 5. She really enjoyed it. I think it’s fine if the child has good road sense.

But it's not up to the school, this is a parenting decision and they'd be overstepping their remit to get involved. And realistically there's nothing they could do about it, I know people will say they would contact social services but they won't be interested, it's not against the law and they've far more serious things to deal with, like genuine neglect not a parent trying to make the best of a poor situation.

Primary school teacher here. With permission, kids allowed to walk by themselves from year 5. By end of year five, maybe a third of class doing it? Outer London.

I’m staggered that people think a mile is a long way. That’s 20 minutes.

I would be looking for someone to walk with her, maybe do a swap where you do pick up another day or even pay them.

8 is a little too young for that kind of responsibility imo.

Congratulations on the job op, you'll find some way to make this work.

No. I wouldn’t do it

What's your 14 yr old's journey to school like? Do they cycle? Could it work for them to walk their sibling to breakfast club and still have time to get to school? Especially if they could push a bike there and cycle back? At one day a week it might be negotiable for a term and then you'll all know how it is going, and your youngest can probably manage the walk more independently and more frequently come next year.

I do think summer term is a good time for kids to start new steps towards independence.

Totally nomal in my area. All pupils that are within walking distance walk from the start of year 5 where I live. It is completely normal and after the first day of y5 (week for an anxious child) they would be highly embarrassed if their parents were seen walking them. I worried around road safety (and still do sometimes) at first but children have to become more independent at some stage!

I think it's fine at nine. DS was nine when one of my jobs that was two days a week started too early for breakfast club and in the opposite direction. DS got up, dressed, and had breakfast when I did. He was home alone for a while then got the bus to school. I wouldn't hesitate about a mile walk.

Whereas the school I worked in for last ten years, it was really common for secondary school age kids to drop off/collect their younger siblings. It was always lovely to see old students.

I’m guessing that as they all walk, they tend to have friends to walk with though? The OP reads like her DD will be walking alone.

On their own? Definitely wouldn't be letting mine. With friends once in year 5/6 - maybe. It also depends on the route in terms of roads etc.

And I might have read it wrong but it looks like she’ll be walking to breakfast club at 7.30am (when it’s likely there won’t be many people around) rather than walking to school for the start of normal school time, when there are likely to be plenty of others walking at the same time.

Totally normal where we are in Scotland. Kids walk to school all the time. Mine walked a mile there at back every day from around 9 years old. Plenty of younger kids walked as well.

Maybe trust them to lock up at 14? Meanwhile, in the real world, plenty of children are latchkey kids from the start of secondary or earlier.