AIBU to think it’s ok for my DD to walk school?

[alwaysgonnaloveyou]

I have been offered a job but my 9 year old DD (soon to be 10) would need to walk to school alone. It is a mile away. I would need to leave the house at 7.30 to get to work but the out of hours club provided by school doesn’t open until 8. I am a single parent and do not know anyone who would be able to pick her up from our house and drop her off at school. I have a 14 year old DD also who is super sensible but goes to a different school so she would be looking after him until he has to walk to school. Her school is in the opposite direction so she can’t walk her halfway or anything.

Call the school (that's offered you the job) back first thing in the morning, say you were very concerned about your own school drop offs, but have managed to work something out, so would love to take the job, if it's still an option!

Yes, please do this OP. Don't give up this opportunity!

Y5 for 1 day a week is absolutely fine imo. She’s nearly 10. There are 8/9 year olds walking to school near me.

How does she feel about it?

This, please op. There is a way round this.

Currently we struggle with drop offs so we have to find a work around, we leave our 9 & 6yo at school at 8.30, we could send them into breakfast club but they want to hang around with their friends. School rules are not to leave children before the gates open 8.45 but most of the parents there know us and are happy to watch them, the older one dosnt need supervision but I like knowing the younger one dose have it, my 9yo would happily stay with her sister but I ask parents I know to keep an eye on her. On speaking to another parent one day she offered that we just drop at her house, she’s walking her 2 to school anyway so said just shove them through her front door and our 9yos can walk if they want and she can walk the two 6yos.

one day I had to leave earlier than usual, my 6yo was off sick so i dropped my 9yo further away from school, she wanted to walk, she’d had practise last year walking with her sister and it was a straight walk to the school, one fairly busy road that’s suppose to have a lollipop person, I told her if there wasn’t one as is more often the case she had to wait for another parent and ask to cross with them. The crossing is right outside school. Some of my 9yo Yr5 DDs friends have been walking since beginning of year 4 but they live a lot closer to the school than us.

1 mile is a 20 minute walk, that's not far at all!

You could flag it as a safeguarding issue but unless they're walking along fast country roads with no footpath, or have to cross a busy dual carriageway or similar (or there's SEN involved), then SS will not be interested because its not actually a safeguarding issue, because 9 year olds are perfectly capable of walking a mile alone if they are taught road safety properly.

Just for perspective OP this would be normal in central Paris where we live. The average UK attitude is more cautious but the UK is unusual in this respect. My (just) 9 year old walks to lots of local things on his own.

Or you drop him at the friend or childminder's house en route so that he's not on his own.
Or you take him to school first on the way to the secondary school and he goes to breakfast club.

OP - I think you either need another plan - like you drop her at a friend's house and friend's parent does the school run - or you need to negotiate your hours with this job if you are going to take it I'm afraid. 9 is too young - not necessarily because they aren't sensible, but because they are a vulnerable target to people who might not have good intentions, particularly if walking the same route at the same time every day.

Why? Honestly it’s fine. People on MN are weirdly ott about this

Is it not feasible to you that a mother working hard to improve her children’s lives and who got smacked down repeatedly by overly precious and privileged posters informing her she was being irresponsible and should simply find another job or change her hours doesn’t want to ‘engage’ much?
This is sadly pretty typical for mumsnet and does make you realise how detached from reality many people responding to these posts are.
Now she’s gone and declined the job.
I hope those posters feel appropriately self-righteous… 😒

I actually doubt she has declined the job because of MN. This thread had fairly balanced views either way. But we will never know as the responses are snippy one liners with no engagement and no way of knowing whats what.

I didn't see any 'slapping down' too. Just posters answering the questions as per the initial request.

What “snippy one liners” are you referring to?

You think a 14 year old is only just old enough to get themselves ready for school and lock a door behind them?

No wonder we have so many young adults who are incapable of looking after themselves given so many think a Y5 can’t walk a mile without having their hand held.

@muddyford I'd be fine with her walking, but no way would I allow her to cycle. Better/safer in her feet!!

@alwaysgonnaloveyou

oh, why did you do that? Was it just DD's commute one day a week? Or other reasons??