Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it’s ok for my DD to walk school?

315 replies

alwaysgonnaloveyou · 07/03/2024 20:13

I have been offered a job but my 9 year old DD (soon to be 10) would need to walk to school alone. It is a mile away. I would need to leave the house at 7.30 to get to work but the out of hours club provided by school doesn’t open until 8. I am a single parent and do not know anyone who would be able to pick her up from our house and drop her off at school. I have a 14 year old DD also who is super sensible but goes to a different school so she would be looking after him until he has to walk to school. Her school is in the opposite direction so she can’t walk her halfway or anything.

OP posts:
FUPAgirl · 07/03/2024 21:41

This wouldn't be something I would consider. I would ask work for a flexible start time one day a week.

Autienotnautie · 07/03/2024 21:55

Would the school even accept this. Our school doesn't allow anyone under 10 to arrive or depart unaccompanied.

I get it's perfect but to me she's (at least) a year too young. Can't the 14 year old walk her then go to school?

SKG231 · 07/03/2024 22:05

For one day a week I would go for it. It’s a huge jump in pay. You could always consider a specialised taxi service for that one day?

Cheeesus · 07/03/2024 22:14

Actually, for that pay rise, could you pay someone to take her?

SpringSprungALeak · 07/03/2024 22:16

@alwaysgonnaloveyou

Shes nearly 10, it's a mile. Unless it's through a neighbourhood full of druggies or rural roads without a footpath I'd be embarrassed if my child was unable to do this.

England has become so weird. Won't allow a 10 year old to walk to school but will allow them to wear heels, inappropriate clothing & makeup.

Wimpeyspread · 07/03/2024 22:17

You know your daughter, do you think she can do it? Maybe walk the route with her a few times until she’s confident. I don’t see why a 9/10 year old can’t walk a mile

Firstsimnelcake · 07/03/2024 22:28

Funny how most if the oh nooooooo far too young brigade aren’t offering any sensible suggestions.
OP is a single mother to two girls, she needs this job and the money it will bring. It’s one day a week, the child is sensible and who knows, once she is in the job and more established she may be able to ask for some flexibility. You can’t really make demands before you start - they will just get someone else.
Is your daughter happy with the idea OP?

uncomfortablydumb53 · 07/03/2024 22:31

As long as the roads are reasonably quiet I would be ok with this
A mile would be a 20 min walk
You could practice the route with you walking behind her first
Personally I think it's good to encourage confidence as they get older

erpo · 07/03/2024 22:36

How does your daughter feel about this?

Dare I ask about her other parent? Are they around to help? Do they have an opinion?

Ultravox · 07/03/2024 22:42

You know your kids & what they are capable of and the environment they live in. Plenty of kids in Scandinavian counties walk to school alone from the age of 5 and it was commonplace in this country when I was that age (ok it was the 80s)

It sounds like this job is a really good opportunity for you. If your kids are happy with the extra responsibility then go for it.

Saz12 · 07/03/2024 22:57

At some point you have to trust your childrens abilities. For me, nearly-10 walking 20 minutes to school and not leaving from an empty house is fine. Particularly given the OP's job offer (congratulations!!).

It's weird and wrong that in England & Wales at 10-years-old you can be legally considered criminally responsible for your actions, but 2 months from your tenth birthday you cant be expected to walk to school by yourself.

OP, if youre actively worried about dodgy people, can you mix up the routine so its not always the same day each week? Personally, I dont think this is a significant issue.

Bobloblaw84 · 07/03/2024 22:57

Too young. You could ask to start 30mins later and finish 30mins later?

reelcat · 07/03/2024 22:57

@HungryBeagle it is mixed, a lot walk by themselves and meet up closer to school but some do walk in groups. I assumed she would be going normal school time (leave the house later and staying with siling until then) but if it was walking that early by herself to breakfast club I wouldn't be comfortable with.

Kelly51 · 07/03/2024 23:12

Particularly the bit where her sister is responsible for getting her to be ready and off to school. It’s happened once or twice at our school in the last few years and it raised a number of concerns and questions about their safety.
A 14yr old is more than able to see her younger sister out to school, I'd be more concerned if they couldn't do this. Can we stop treating teenagers and young adults like small children.

Cheshiresun · 07/03/2024 23:21

Personally in my view it would be too young for mine. On starting secondary school mine can walk the half mile to the bus stop alone.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 07/03/2024 23:29

All of mine walked to school from year 5. Oldest and youngest walked alone/met friends along the way.

Containerhome · 07/03/2024 23:34

If its one day a week I would organise a taxi in this situation

Bullhorn26 · 07/03/2024 23:38

surely it would make the most sense to start half an hour later that day and take it off your lunch break. I can’t see a job being so inflexible that you can’t start at 9 instead of 8.30 one day a week for the first couple of years after you’ve already been offered it

Kelly51 · 08/03/2024 01:30

@Bullhorn26
Most jobs don't allow this, esp retail, health care not everyone has the MN big jobs.

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 08/03/2024 02:03

My son at age 9 often used to scoot or cycle a mile to school. He'd usually go with friends though. Does your DD have a mobile phone? If it was me I'd feel more comfortable with it if she did.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 08/03/2024 02:16

Year 5s walk solo to and from school where I am unless moms are taking younger kids too. My 9 year old has been walking since September because she wants to, though she's happy to be dropped off if it's raining heavily!

Phillipa12 · 08/03/2024 05:20

By the time you have to leave, your dd would be up, dressed and had breakfast. Do you want her in breakfast club for 8am or are you happy for her to walk to school for the start time/gates open? If it's the later, it's a 30 min walk max and it won't be in the dark, even in winter. Other school children will be walking at that time (secondary age, not sure if that's a bonus with some).She is year 5 and only has just over 1 term left before year 6. If it were me I would say yes as it's only 1 day a week. Best second option is a taxi, we have a couple of DC come to school in taxis by themselves. Congrats on the new job.

ConJob · 08/03/2024 05:20

I think it's fine, children are too coddled in this country. If something comes up she can ring you.

Josette77 · 08/03/2024 05:34

I would. I was a latch key kid at 10.

I was also babysitting at 12, and don't see 14 as too young to lock up and be home with a 10 yo.

Bjorkdidit · 08/03/2024 05:43

Agree that there's some bizarre responses especially at the beginning of the thread when the consensus was that she shouldn't do it.

In 18 months time the 9 YO will be at secondary school so this is good preparation for when she might have a longer journey and maybe need to get a bus alone. Its about now that she should be starting to do this sort of thing.

Swipe left for the next trending thread