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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think it’s ok for my DD to walk school?

315 replies

alwaysgonnaloveyou · 07/03/2024 20:13

I have been offered a job but my 9 year old DD (soon to be 10) would need to walk to school alone. It is a mile away. I would need to leave the house at 7.30 to get to work but the out of hours club provided by school doesn’t open until 8. I am a single parent and do not know anyone who would be able to pick her up from our house and drop her off at school. I have a 14 year old DD also who is super sensible but goes to a different school so she would be looking after him until he has to walk to school. Her school is in the opposite direction so she can’t walk her halfway or anything.

OP posts:

Minikievs · 07/03/2024 20:35

One day a week, for an almost 10 yo, it's getting lighter. It's a 20 min walk.
I'm not sure I would but I'd definitely be thinking about it. Year 5?
My DD is Y5 and has a .7 mile walk to school. I currently walk it with her but only because there's a road to cross that some idiots come flying down. Once I've got her across that, she's only got to go .2 miles alone and there's parents everywhere.
From your update re job, salary, it's one day a week.....I think I would.
ONLY if your eldest locks the door and they leave the house together

Createausername1970 · 07/03/2024 20:35

If you are earning a lot more, could you for the one day a week, arrange a regular taxi to take her. Your older DD could see her into the taxi at home.

Outthedoor24 · 07/03/2024 20:35

Op given its just one day and your parents can do the other days, I'd be tempted to organise a taxi for the one day they can't do.

RumbleMum · 07/03/2024 20:35

Honestly it sounds fine to me if both kids are sensible, are happy with the arrangement and you're contactable. I imagine they'll be fine with it for one day a week if it means more money for fun stuff and treats!

All local kids round here start walking to school at the beginning of year 5 and my 14 and 10 year old really like being left alone in the house with me on the end of the phone and having some independence. I've grilled them both thoroughly on what they'd do in various emergency situations and they know how to find my number and contact me even if they lost their phones. They're both pretty good with initiative as a result and are really sensible.

Bellsandthistle · 07/03/2024 20:36

Yazo · 07/03/2024 20:33

Also..I'm not sure if mumsnet will provide the best answers, some parents are never happy letting their children walk anywhere at any age.

This. The suggestions that you get a different job so your child doesn’t have to walk to school one day a week… 🙄😂

Zanatdy · 07/03/2024 20:37

Too young for me to walk 1 mile to school alone in year 5. I’d have to decline the job (and did have to turn down different roles etc as I had no help when mine were younger)

Saz12 · 07/03/2024 20:38

Personally, I'd let her. Assuming shes sensible, its a safe area, roads ok, and both are happy enough to do it. She'd be ready and leaving the house 10 mins after you if she was going to breakfast club, so not too much extra for your eldest.

ScottishDora · 07/03/2024 20:39

It's definitely very different to Scotland bar the first few weeks kids walk to school from primary one pretty much.

goodkidsmaadhouse · 07/03/2024 20:40

I think it’s absolutely fine but also live in Scotland where it’s the norm! My 10yo walks just over a mile to school and crosses several busy roads. Winter is a long way off so good time for your daughter to start and have the spring, summer and autumn to get used to it!
Thats a huge salary increase and will make a big difference to your family.

Multipleexclamationmarks · 07/03/2024 20:42

I would let her. Mine walked a similar distance at that age.
It's 1 day a week, there's an older sibling there, the 9 (nearly 10) year old isn't locking up.
I wouldn't have a problem as long as she was happy to.

FreyaB84 · 07/03/2024 20:42

DinnaeFashYersel · 07/03/2024 20:32

Depends on the child and the area.

Most kids where I live in Scotland walk to and from school from younger than 9, some from age 5. (My own 2 get the bus and have walked home from the bus stop since the eldest was 6/7).

But I know in England there's a different attitude to to this.

Same in my part of Scotland. Parents still accompanying their children to school at 9 would be very much in the minority!

Pammela2 · 07/03/2024 20:42

I live in Scotland, and this is not the norm where I am! We are in an urban area though..

Im not sure I would do it, but maybe look into a taxi for one day? I think if she were already 10, closer to 11, then I would consider it.

That is a great pay rise, so I’d definitely try to sort something!

Zanatdy · 07/03/2024 20:43

For a 15k difference in salary I’d take the job and find a way to make it work. I wouldn’t be happy with it but if money is tight and this will make a big difference I’d take it and try and think outside the box for ways to get her there that day. Can’t the sister walk part way?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 07/03/2024 20:43

Hmm, what is the route like? If there are main roads do they have a lollipop lady? I did walk by myself at that age, but admittedly only a 1/4 mile, quiet streets then my school was on a main road with a lollipop lady to cross.

HungryBeagle · 07/03/2024 20:45

How does she feel about it? I have a 10 year old DD and she’d absolutely hate this. She might just be persuaded if she had a friend to walk with but definitely not on her own.
A mile alone at that age and at that time is too young IMO.

Mischance · 07/03/2024 20:45

It all depends on where he has to walk - lots of roads to cross/ - main roads? - populated area or country lanes?

I think he is too young really.

Cheeesus · 07/03/2024 20:47

Have you not got a class WhatsApp group? Is there absolutely no one nearby she could walk with?

whitebreadjamsandwich · 07/03/2024 20:48

Are both your parents involved in looking after your brothers kids? Can they not help figure out a way to juggle both (its v good of them to help) - dropping your child off with them first perhaps?

whitebreadjamsandwich · 07/03/2024 20:49

ScottishDora · 07/03/2024 20:39

It's definitely very different to Scotland bar the first few weeks kids walk to school from primary one pretty much.

Where?? I'm in the NE corner and this is definitely not what happens here

GreenEyedMonsterMunch · 07/03/2024 20:50

My 9yo is very independent and goes to the shop etc on her own but a mile walk on her own at that age is just too much. Is there a friends house you could drop her to on that particular morning and then have the friend over for a playdate some evening to return the favour?

I know people say 'I walked that far at that age' but the roads/people in general are a lot more dangerous these days.

TheStarOnTheChristmasTree · 07/03/2024 20:50

I did this with DD3 when she was 2 months off 10, 0.6m walk to school and her 15 year old sister around for some of the time. This was 8 years ago and all was fine.

2024theplot · 07/03/2024 20:50

With that salary increase, could you not book a taxi once a week? Or even a taxi to take both kids, dropping the younger one off first if you don't want the younger one getting a taxi by herself.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/03/2024 20:52

Op what are the schools rules? Obviously they can't MAKE you take her to school but they can make life difficult if it goes against their policy.

You say she's a mile away, is there anyone en route she could meet up with?

How quiet is quiet? Great there's no main roads etc but if she got into trouble, would anyone come across her? Is it so quiet she'd be vulnerable?

It's only one day until your parents are ill or on holiday etc.

scorpiogirly · 07/03/2024 20:52

Helfs · 07/03/2024 20:19

YANBU most schools say from year 5 to walk to school alone

What? 5? To walk a mile?

ScottishDora · 07/03/2024 20:53

whitebreadjamsandwich · 07/03/2024 20:49

Where?? I'm in the NE corner and this is definitely not what happens here

Show quote history

Central belt. I grew up in Falkirk and have lived in other towns since and its very much the case.

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