To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

[Rosebyanothername19]

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

How absolutely ridiculous. Surely in a harmonious relationship both adults can eat the food they like and if you care about your partner you should want to make food the other likes?? That cuts both ways. I have specific dietary needs, my partner doesn't and, shock horror, sometimes I adapt the meal slightly so we are both happy, as does my partner the other way round. In this case it sounds like a ready meal so why wouldn't you just get two different ones.

I honestly don't understand why people act like doing basic nice things for each other is such a hardship.

I'm not going to deprive myself of ever eating something my DH doesn't like. It's not like she's feeding this to him every day. He can compromise occasionally. He'll live. Or he can do a nice thing and be the one to cook for a change... then he can choose what they eat.

Where have I ever said you have to deprive yourself of something you like, jeez! I've clearly said meals can be adapted or you can do 2 different things, it's not that big a deal.

In our house we have 2 vegans, a veggie, a nut allergy and the rest meat eaters, sometimes we eat different things or adapt meals slightly. I still don't think it's unreasonable for 2 adults in the home to eat food they like and to be willing to make that for each other.

You seem hell bent on having a row, misinterpreting things to have a rant. Both parties should be ablebto eat meals they want to, life's to short to make this a drama.

He wants to eat what he wants, he can share the cooking. Otherwise asking 1 person to compromise or cook multiple things every day is entirely unreasonable. If you're doing that for your family every day, I'd wonder why they have such little respect for your time.

I clearly said before that they should consider sharing the cooking if that's feasible and that both me and my DP cook so your post makes no sense.

We both like to eat things we enjoy, personally I think if you are regularly making meals your DP doesn't like that's disrespectful of you but you do you and ill do me. Neither of us is in the OP situation and we are obviously both happy with our lives so I'll end the conversation with you there.

I wouldn't eat something I don't like and do t expect anyone else to either.

-I don’t quite understand why you bought something you knew that he didn’t like.

-Your dh should have done his best and pretended to eat it in front of the dc.

-In future he should step up and share the shopping and cooking.

What does he do to help out? Seems you’re doing the lions share. I would have said cook your own then. All the time.

What a silly fuss from a grown man. He gave your child a very poor example as well. I can't be doing with pickiness about food myself so I might have pointed him in the direction of bread and cheese.
That said, it might be worth sitting down with him and child and making a menu for the week of stuff they will both eat. I'm tempted to say-then send him shopping but the answer might be a weekly supermarket delivery?

@mamajong you literally told her all the things she could do to avoid being disrespected by her own DH 🤯. You literally said "a way around this is to agree a meal plan" so they were "both happy", what she's (justifiably) unhappy about is being treated badly in front of her child after being relied on to cook all the meals on top of all of her other responsibilities. Your advice is to check with him what she's allowed to cook first, to avoid him being rude/childish/unkind/having a bad attitude and setting an awful example to her child???? And I'm talking nonsense?!

Chill out, you seem really angry. My reply literally stated that he could have handled it better but it's not unreasonable to want to eat food you like and my suggestions are all centred around that. I am so glad I live in a house where neither party considers it a hardship to buy and cook, between us, food that people in the home want to eat. I feel sorry for anyone where that's not a thing.

@mamajong apologies if I seem angry, I'm not. I think things we write can be difficult to read the tone of, I just find it frustrating to read so much of people trying to help women (mainly but not exclusively) keep their dp happy, to avoid them being horrid. I would agree with your point he hasn't been such an idiot to her and he himself made the effort to share the cooking. I too feel sorry for people who don't have a relationship where by they share the load, i just can't understand why anyone should put up with it let alone try and look after them better.

My mum & I had the same exact microwave. Same brand, same wattage, same model.
She told me about this fish recipe she’d been making for herself - so I made it for my husband.
Halibut or tilapia or some sort of fresh filets in a dish and salsa poured over them & then cooked for however many minutes.
It was awful. They were slimy & tasted terrible.
But my husband ate them and never complained and afterwards said, “those weren’t very good.”
But he ate them. lol

Tell him. Next week you will take on my responsibilities for a week. So pick up, meal planning, grocery shopping and cooking. Then we'll talk.