To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

[Rosebyanothername19]

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

My DH is fussy. He does a "special pout" if he doesn't like his dinner because long ago I banned him from moaning about food at the table. We have two DC who eat everything that is put in front of them, often asking for seconds. At a very early age, I explained that tension at the table is ungrateful when someone else has provided a cooked meal for you. He now asks for the meals he claimed not to like all those years ago. I used to tell the DC that when you had a meal sixteen times, you would like it. That worked. It helps that we are all vegetarian and that I am a good home cook. Both my DS now cook really well too.

If this is a satirical post it's quite a good one.
She works ft, does parenting, housework, food shopping and cooking, and carries all the accompanying mental load.
And it's HER fault if she doesn't have the time or headspace to always provide a meal her DH will actively love?
What about his work–life balance? what about, instead of hiding away working while she cooks and parents, HE came out of his office and lifted a finger and went to the shops? and cooked a dinner?

Being cooked for is a privilege, unless cooking duties are shared fairly.

Whining/moaning should lead to withdrawal of this privilege.

If it isn't something he has had before (different flavour to previous even if same type of food) I think it's only polite to at least try it. Then if he doesn't like it, don't cook it again, but he shouldn't make a comment like he did in front of the child and influencing their decision. My husband didn't like fish but I told him he was banned from existing his utter disgust of fish in front of our children and they eat fish no problem lol.

It's hard juggling everything time wise so he should appreciate you try your best with time allowed.

He will begrudgingly cook sometimes but I still have to think of the meal and preferably buy the ingredients.

He needs to pull his weight and do his share of the shopping cooking.

YOU are also working full time, doesn't matter if it's from home, and doing more of the childcare heavy lifting/household chores as a result. And that's not fair. And it's gross that he has the audacity to complain about the meals you manage to put in front of him when you're already doing more than your fair share at home.

You really really need to make it clear his attitude is not reasonable, his undermining you in front of the children is not reasonable, and he needs to step up and do his fair share at home. Not 'help' you, but do his fair share.

On the fence.
He was rude but I hate ready meals too. If he doesn't like that sort of thing, he needs to organise food. I understand why you bought it. It's so busy working and taking DC to clubs etc.

I like these meal in a bag because you don't have to watch over them, and the chicken is always really juicy.

I bet if OP had hidden the packaging, decanted it once cooked into to a frying pan and got some herbs and spices out of the cupboard carefully arranged alongside he would have eaten it!

YANBU

Sounds like you do the lion share of pretty much everything whilst also working a full time job.

I totally hear you on it being exhausting having to always be the one to think of meals - it's just another thing to add to the mental load.

He didn't like the last one, you thought he might enjoy this one as it was more to his tastes, he didn't try it and sulked instead. In front of children too - it's immature.

I would honestly say look, it's something quick and easy to eat on a busy week day, next week you take the reins and plan/cook the meals.

Yabu. You knew he didn’t like it and cooked it anyway .
I disagree that he’s setting a bad example for your kids, I think you were. He asked you not to make it and you ignored that.
He’s an adult and he’s allowed to say he doesn’t want to eat something

He asked her not to make it? Are we in 1950? Does his penis impinge on his ability to locate the kitchen?

If my OH dished up something that I'd previously repeatedly said I didn't like, I wouldn't be very pleased.

That being said, he behaved badly in front of your (presumably) young child. And while no one is perfect, he could have handled himself a bit more maturely.

I think you're both a bit to blame here.

Does his penis impinge on his ability to locate the kitchen?

😂

That’s not what the op said though. He continues to WFH when he returns, stops for dinner then works some more.

What about if you’d repeatedly not partaken in any parenting duties, nor cleaning, shopping or cooking? Would you still be feeling ballsy enough to complain about what you’d need served for dinner?

No, sorry. People who never cook don't get to dictate what's for dinner every day. Sometimes it's chefs choice.

She did not know he did not like it.
FFS.

I doubt he's actually working. He's mostly likely doing work he could have done in the office or just scrolling the internet, to get out of cooking and then later to get out of doing bedtime.

Funny how OP has to get her work done in time to pick up the kids.

Honestly OP, meal planning is the way forward. Sit down with DH and kids. Create a list of all the meals you all like. Decide what days you eat what meals, note who’s going to be prepping said meals each day, including clearing up. Make a shopping list then buy all the ingredients. It helps to have some quick meals in the list for when you’re both busy and need to just throw something in the oven such as pizza, salad and wedges.
TBH my DH wouldn’t have eaten what you prepared but he would have been very apologetic about it.

Don’t be disingenuous.

Yes she did, it said in the op

She said he didn’t like boil in the bag in the OP but ok

How is it disingenuous to say he can cook himslf if he doesn't like what's on offer?

Because that’s not the point is it. Plus, he did!

No, she doesn't say he doesn't like boil in the bag. And it doesn't sound like boil in a bag, sounds like one of those oven proof bags that you put the ingredients in and roast.

OP said he hadn't liked them in the past but this time it was an Italian based one and they eat Italian food so thought it would be ok.

No one knows if every meal will be nice beforehand, it's trial and error.

Yes, you seem very keen to avoid the point that this woman does everything (shopping, work, school pick up and drop offs, dropping to after school clubs and cooking) whilst her DH moans about food.

And yes, he can keep making himself a sandwich, he doesn't deserve to be cooked for.