To think my DH should have eaten the dinner I cooked

[Rosebyanothername19]

I wfh full time and have to juggle picking up DC and taking to after school clubs etc. So don't have a huge amount of time for shopping/cooking delicious home made meals from scratch.

I managed to do a quick weekly shop the other day but was running out of ideas for dinners and grabbed a packet of something on offer that you just chuck all the ingredients in a bag and cook so it's nice and easy to prep and I can leave cooking while I do other stuff. We have had a couple in the past and my DH has said he didn't really like them, but this was was more Italian based which we eat a lot of so hoped it would be OK.

So tonight he sits down to dinner and just pulled a face and said I'm not eating this. I'll just make a sandwich. This caused my DC to say I don't want it either!

I managed to convince my DC to eat it and they enjoyed it, but my DH just sat there with a full plate and a face on.

I've gone to take DC to bed and he has gone to the shop to buy a pizza.

AIBU: I shouldn't have cooked it if there was a chance he wouldn't like it, forcing him to get his own dinner

Or

NBU: He should have eaten it and said maybe don't get that again?

You work full time, do the food shop and the school pick-up, take the kids to after-school clubs and then cook.

What does ungrateful knobhead do?

I'd be so happy with this! I hate meal planning and trying to find different healthy meals that are also quick or can all be shoved in the oven.

I don't enjoy cooking and don't have time to be standing over things for ages. I'd rather be spending time with my child who has been at school all day!

Ugh my friend makes those Maggi things and somehow manages to make it really runny and bland. I couldn't eat it, the steamy weirdness and the texture of the chicken was horrid.

I did have to fess up that it wasn't something I could eat and now, every time we go for dinner she remembers and kindly makes something else. I'm with your DH tbh, but he shouldn't be pulling faces in front of the kids.

That sounds ok… we do a lot of chicken chorizo here. Or chicken curry (usually with patak spices). But I get how boring it is to be thinking of meals for all. I’d make him eat it!

He leaves at 7am gets back at 4/5pm then works a bit more until dinner and then a bit more while I'm putting them to bed.

I just struggle fitting in my full time job around everything and being expected to do the house chores on top because I'm at home rather than out in an office.

Is he actually working or sitting at his desk whilst you’re running around?

He is taking the piss, OP.

I am not getting all the 'well he can cook then', 'don't lift another finger', 'you eat what you are given'
Unless you are a complete bore with food, there will always be hits and misses. I would never expect someone to eat something rank cause i got it wrong this time.

Why are you not getting it? OP is run ragged and he’s not even grateful.

We always meal plan together as a family. You shouldn’t have to do it all alone as it is a guessing game at that point.

I don’t force my DC to eat anything that they don’t like. Even if they say they will try it and then when looking at it on a plate they are put off, I still don’t force them to try it.

The meal you described- chicken and vegetables cooked in a bag sounds very unappealing to me. I’d rather have a bowl of corn flakes.

So I would not be unhappy he didn’t eat it, or the way he expressed it, because I would not have been set on trying to make my DC eat it.

I think the biggest issue is that you are being hung out to dry. You can’t make a meal everyone likes with no input and no partnership. I think your DH needs to make dinner at least twice a week so he understands the pressure.

I just struggle fitting in my full time job around everything and being expected to do the house chores on top because I'm at home rather than out in an office.

"DH the recent issue at dinner made me realise how unbalanced our lives are. Let's chat about how you can take more of the housework because I can't do everything to the standard you want. If we share, we will both have time to do things properly". Big

my husband and I will eat whatever the other makes even if we don’t like it - it’s absolute rudeness on his part and a shit example for your children. I’d be livid!

Grateful for what? Genuinely asking.

He's taking the piss, I would be incredibly fucked off if I were you. Why isn't he doing any cooking? Does his penis get in the way. Think of the example he's setting to your kids!

Is he upstairs until you call him for dinner? I would stop calling him. If he likes pizza so much he can go and get one again can't he.

Honestly, no. I wouldn't. As a child, I was told to. But that was then,

For working full time, doing the food shop, picking up his kids from school, taking them to after-school club and then cooking dinner.

Whilst he gets home at 5pm and sits on his arse.

Then cook yourself?

@MrsTerryPratchett
Completely agree everything is unbalanced. Her DH is only working a job. It’s like he does nothing for family life.

Yes there are misses but there are also adult, respectful ways of responding to those misses.
Whether his overworked partner managed to create him a perfect dinner that night or not he should still be grateful that she fed them all. So disrespectful.

To also be fair to him, he does normally also clean up after dinner and stack the dishwasher...

Except tonight as he is annoyed with me for dinner. 🙄

I mean, I do. And the husband should. But that was not the question I answered. Chill.

I was brought up in a house of eat what’s given to you. I struggled a lot with food I don’t like.

As an adult I wouldn’t be pleased if my husband put food on my plate that he knows I’m not keen on. I hate those cook in bag meals like so juicy and maggi and I would have not eaten it either.
You knew he wasn’t keen on those type of meals so I don’t really know what the issue is. He doesn’t like that type of food.

Oh. I don’t much buy into the gratitude thing a me bob. It’s a slippery slope because it gets into a score keeping row and who should be on their knees thanking the other. Partnerships that are equal shouldn’t need partners to fake gratitude for something they do not like.

He sounds like a petulant child.

He will begrudgingly cook sometimes but I still have to think of the meal and preferably buy the ingredients.

And what's his excuse for doing it begrudgingly?! And for not doing it more often?

I am really glad it isn’t nothing, I apologise for inadvertently exaggerating. However, I do think it’s not well balanced. He really should see about his work-family balance because it leaves you carrying the bulk of the family load alone.

Fair enough if you don’t want to be force into eating something because of childhood trauma

thrre is also manners and teaching your children manners through modelling

saying I’m not eating this when someone
serves you food is just obnoxious and could have been felt with better

flouncing off and getting a pizza would really piss me off