DH's scruffy friend

[ScruffinessIsContagious]

Mostly lighthearted but I'm also curious.

For the past 6+ years, we’ve been a group of 5. A few months ago, one of DH’s childhood mates came back to oz after spending a couple of years abroad, and we’ve since been a band of 6. We all just got back from a week-long city break, and looking through the photos, her scruffiness is apparent and it actually really bothers me. I know the reasons definitely aren’t financial so I was wondering why.

Her “uniform” (even when not on vacation) consists of chino shorts, oversized tees, and sandals. That’s it. She wore that to museums, walks around the city, fancy cafes, and even restaurants??!! I’m not a fashionista but surely there’s a time and place for a nice dress, some slim-fit trousers and a fitted top, or even a button-down linen shirt to go with her shorts? She’s very slim so surely it’s easy to find clothes that fit? Saw her after work once and she wore a tee, oversized “parachute trousers”, and huge sneakers so it’s not just us she doesn’t smarten up for!

AIBU to wonder why someone would choose to be like that?

It bothers you???? It bothers you because someone dresses a certain way! Bloody hell!

I like her, sounds like she’s immune to peer pressure and doesn’t really care what other people think, independent minded woman.

I am too, to some extent. I'm afraid I do notice when someone turns up to, say, a funeral in jeans and hiking boots, and I did think it odd when a friend's bride didn't style - or apparently even brush - her hair before the wedding (it had that damp, frizzy look of having been left to dry naturally).

I mean fine if you're someone who doesn't like wearing makeup or painting your nails or whatever, but not brushing your hair on your own wedding day? I just found that bizarre, almost like she was making a point that she didn't care for such shallow things as making an effort with her appearance.

Slim fit and fitted is old fashioned these days. Oversized is current trend, like it or not. All the fashionable people are wearing oversized shoes and trousers/jeans.

To be fair, you obviously haven’t lived in Australia for long. Because otherwise you’d never use the term city break. We have a handful of cities in this massive country so you’d just say which one you went to. I assume the point is to imply a level of sophistication that would be required in dressing. As we would say in Australia (never Oz) yeah nah. If it’s hot - and then it’s often humid too depending where you are - we wear shorts.

I suspect this post is a wind up. If it’s not it’s a miracle you’ve got 5 friends. Australians hate snobs.

AIBU to wonder why someone would choose to be like that?

What is there to wonder @ScruffinessIsContagious ?

She wants to and it's none of your business.

Omg call the police how could they?!?!?!

OK why does it matter? Seriously good grief

Why do you feel your opinion of what they wear on their body matters more than their autonomy?

If you haven't been told by your parents, it is rude to comment on anothers appearance.

"some slim-fit trousers and a fitted top"

Who on earth do you think you are? 😂

She can wear what the hell she likes.

You might need to dislodge your slim fit trousers as they appear to have got stuck up your arse.

I've got a friend who dresses like this. She's fucking awesome.

suspect this post is a wind up

Of course it is! One goady OP, with all the necessary bait, and then never seen again but gets 250+ replies!

why do you care?

😂😂

We know someone just like this. Scraped back scruffy hair, t shirt and cardigan. Party, day out, day in, slumming it, NYE's celebrations, her own birthday party, she looks like she's fallen in a bag of jumble! Don't get me wrong, I look like the walking dead most days as my job doesn't call for me to be smart , self employed, but I can certainly scrub up when I need to. I just don't get why someone wouldn't want to look nice for a celebration. Each to their own I guess.

I would dress appropriately for a funeral but I dont have either make up or a hairdryer. So that applied to my wedding day too. Would have been uncomfortable in make up.

This is a you problem.

What is going on in your head for this to:

1. enter your mind
2. give it more than a seconds thought
3. take the time to bother typing it out?

Some people don't care about clothes. HTH.

But how people are dressed does not make the event more or less nice, people can still have a good time no matter how people look

that is what is weird this obession with looks, sure the human race may always have been like this but does not make it right

The friend sounds trendy, you sound out dated in what you have suggest she should be wearing.

Just wait until she starts making chimichangas, then the OP will really have something to worry about!

BINGO! Op your insecurities are screaming

She’s probably thinking about more interesting things than clothes.

Not bothered enough to talk to her about it but bothered enough to come and slag her off on here @ScruffinessIsContagious?

Agree

She's definitely more fashionable than the OP who sounds stuck in years past. And a notion of what's "feminine" that's well out of date.

All the teens and 20's around me (UK) are wearing oversized clothes with trainers.

This could be me.
I have no interest in clothes. I wish I did but I don't understand what goes with what etc

I've given up trying to work it out.
I have jeans and hoodys ... A top and work uniform that's it

Why are you so bothered by her, let her wear what she is comfy in, would you rather she was in a little dress and a cardigan. Is this all you have to worry about in your life. Had loads of people tell me to wear other colours instead of black and I think people should worry about what they wear themselves and leave others alone.