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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fleeting comments that still sting years later

708 replies

HoorayFriday · 06/03/2024 08:29

I was early 30's and single. Dating, but having zero luck and wondering if I'd die alone at the bottom of the stairs with my cat eating my big toe.

I confided in my best friend at the time, I was feeling low about myself and sad. Fed up of the dating world.

She said, her partner had told her that "if I lost a bit of weight I could have anyone I wanted".

Was it a back handed compliment? Meant to hurt me? Meant to make me feel better? Why would she say that? I had no idea.

Years later, it still pops up in my head like that unexpected morning pimple.

I've always carried a few extra pounds, I love my food! But, I was by no means what you'd describe as "big".

Anyway, it stung. A lot. And certainly didn't make me feel better.

It made me wonder if anyone else had a carefree passing comment, that probably meant nothing to the person who said it, yet hit you to the core and stayed with you years later?

OP posts:
Rescueremy · 21/03/2024 20:10

That my mum loved god more than me.

Eleanorwishes · 21/03/2024 20:10

JacquesHarlow · 06/03/2024 08:50

what is the “AIBU” dilemna? I don’t get this post

I don’t get your response.

Mermaidsarereal · 22/03/2024 14:24

I have a friend who does similar (she's a slim size 10, I'm a size 18) I don't think she means to do it but regularly says things like "Oh I feel so fat right now, my size 10 jeans are feeling a little snug" like yeah, the thought of buying a size 12 pair must be absolutely horrifying for you 🙄

Goodadvice1980 · 24/03/2024 16:18

Fallulah · 16/03/2024 11:16

I have two..

The day I picked up my degree results (20 years ago), I was disappointed because I’d got firsts for all the units but just tipped in to a 2:1 because my dissertation wasn’t as good. He said “some people just aren’t very academic”. More qualifications and a masters later, it still makes me question everything I do when I have to write things.

A counsellor I was seeing after a terrible relationship breakdown. “Have you thought about losing weight? You’d be so pretty if you lost weight.” From an actual, qualified counsellor. 🫣

In my experience some counsellors are the worst people to be trying to help others!

justintimberlakerivertears · 29/03/2024 20:07

a man once said to me at age 16 in front of a group of friends (men and women.) “you are what I’d classify as a “low res” beauty. You look great from a distance but when you see you close up it’s completely different story”

TangerineSatsuma · 29/03/2024 22:20

justintimberlakerivertears · 29/03/2024 20:07

a man once said to me at age 16 in front of a group of friends (men and women.) “you are what I’d classify as a “low res” beauty. You look great from a distance but when you see you close up it’s completely different story”

Fucking he'll what a knob! Hope you had a good comeback. To say that to a 16 year old girl he either had issues Or was ' negging ' you. I had a similar comment as a shy 17 year old. The boy I was going out with introduced me to his acquaintance as his ' beautiful girlfriend ' only to be told ' she's not that special...' My boyfriend at the time, bless him, challenged him and was told ' the hotter they are the further they fall'.

Sharptonguedwoman · 31/03/2024 09:26

SallyWD · 16/03/2024 10:56

Walking past a homeless guy who said "Can you give me some of your fat? You've got plenty to spare. I'm skin and bones". I later found out he'd said the same thing to my friend. Neither of us were overweight.
At the family planning clinic. The nurse told me it was shocking that I weighed nearly 10 stone and I really needed to "control myself" and eat less. I'm 5ft 8 and my BMI was 21 at the time.

Wow! That nurse was really out of line!

mamajong · 31/03/2024 10:42

'You could be really pretty if you made an effort' from a guy and 'you'll never be skinny but at least you've got child bearing hips' from my mother!

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