To get angry if interrupted when eating?

[MM1972]

I have blown my top recently. I've exploded with anger after just sitting down to eat and my partner has started to tell me I must do something. I've requested to be allowed to finish eating but they continue repeatedly telling me I must do this that or the other. On one occasion I scraped my dinner, which I'd just prepared myself, into the bin, turned my phone off and drove to McDonald's.
The same thing happens when
using the bathroom.

I have lunch at work on the hoof and really only get to sit down at dinner and going to the bathroom.
Personally I would never order my partner to do anything. I ask for their help if needed.

I would never shout orders at someone when they are using the bathroom or when they have just sat down to eat.

Is my need to be able to eat without having someone bark the same instructions at me over and over unreasonable? Perhaps a sign of autism? Or is my partner unreasonable for not allowing me to eat in peace?

What 'orders' is he issuing?

Why don't you say that you will do them when you've finished or just say No you won't do XYZ?

I'd be furious at someone repeatedly barking orders at me, regardless of what I was doing at the time.

No one should be barking orders at you and going on and on, whatever you're doing. Is he generally controlling?

The main one would be make sure you tidy up and do the dishes. I always do the dishes. I do most of the cooking as they are really bad at it. Simply stating that I will doesn't stop the onslaught though. At times it feels like I'm begging to be allowed to eat my dinner without an interruption.

For me having my dinner in peace has become a red line. If I'm not allowed a brief moment to eat then I think it's relationship ending.

i would never in a million years do the same to them. I don't know whether my need to be able to eat without be argued with or ordered to do something is a sign of autism though.

I get a little bit like that. For me it’s because I very rarely get a minute to myself, or a minute to sit down without being pestered. Combine that with me sitting down by myself and actually eating (which may take all of 8 minutes), then you’re going to get both barrels if you even try to disturb me.

Why hide the gender?

I absolutely hate being interrupted when I’m eating. It’s the one time in the day I get to sit down and it’s particularly infuriating when it’s something hot.

Ermm why does this human being think it’s ok to have these expectations!

I have to say I find this very confusing. This man makes you very unhappy and frustrated, to the point of writing this post, yet there you are. You do not have to be with him. You can leave him, and you should leave him. There is a very unhealthy dynamic to your relationship yet you're still with him. Why?

He would be wearing my dinner if he acted like that with me.

Doesn't matter. It's irrelevant.

You are all assuming it's a man. Usually when the op says they and them it's because its a woman.

No one should be ordering another person around in a relationship, regardless of the specific circumstances. This all sounds very fraught and unpleasant, is the relationship like that all the time??

Exactly, it's irrelevant but it just irritates me as I just don't understand why the need for it.

Why are you doing the washing up if you cooked and why ate you expected to do it before you eat? Who made them your boss?

I actually will wash pots before sitting down to eat. I enjoy knowing I don't have as much to do afterwards so I'll also wash dry and put away anything used in prep.

Of course it isn’t a sign of autism. Everyone is entitled to eat their meal without having someone barking orders at them. Your partner is dreadful.

I did a quick google search and lots of stuff came up about autistic people needing to eat in silence. I don't mind conversation but being lectured or ordered to do something when trying to enjoy my food is really annoying.

Are they not eating at the same time as you?

I hate my partner even talking to me while I eat 😂😂.I hate having to say yes,mmm hmmm,good idea, and so on.Just let me eat my food in peace 😁

I don't know whether my need to be able to eat without be argued with or ordered to do something is a sign of autism though.

Step away from DrGoogle, and have a look at your relationship as a whole. Did you join the army by mistake? Partners shouldn't be issuing orders to each other. The problem isn't that you are being constantly harangued while you are eating, it's that it's happening at all.

Are you suggesting you're autistic?

I have a thing about wanting to eat my food while it's hot. Whether that's a cheese toastie or a roast. My ex used to try and make me wash up and clean the worktops before i could eat the dinner id made for us both. It used to cause blazing rows so I left.

Its not autism to want to 1) enjoy your food and 2) NOT be ordered about and given tasks by a so called equal partner!

Is he feeding this idea of autism? Calling you things like strange, not normal or something and you're thinking it's ND or MH?

Weirdest "is this autism" I've seen yet.

No, this does not suggest autism. Neither does it suggest autism if you dislike inadvertently stepping in a dead rotting hedgehog, or if you aren't fond of waiting for a late bus in the rain when you've got an appointment to get to and there are no seats free at the bus stop, or if you get grumpy when you go to eat the treat you were looking forward to and somebody else has eaten it despite knowing you were saving it.

This isn’t a need to eat in silence though. You have a partner who orders you around. That is very bad at any time but nobody would be OK with being given orders or berated while they’re trying to eat.

Your focus should be on why you tolerate this relationship with someone who bosses you about, not trying to blame your perfectly normal feelings about that on autism or anything else.