To feel like DD loves her nanny-housekeeper more than me

[bringpositivitea]

My DD is 2, I'm a SAHM and we have a housekeeper / nanny who comes daily 9-3 on weekdays - she does all the cleaning, laundry, ironing, cooking lunch etc. The only thing I do is cooking dinner. So essentially I'm with my daughter all day, I try to plan really fun things for her like playdates, go to various playgrounds, soft play, feed the ducks, ride her bike, go to kid friendly museums etc. However if I have a doctors appointment or need to get something done (around 1-2 times per week when I'm gone for 3-4 hours) my daughter will stay with this nanny / housekeeper until I get back (they usually just go to the park).

It feels like my daughter loves the nanny / housekeeper (call her NH for short) more than me and I can't understand why. If NH is home when we are, she will prefer to play with NH over me and actively tell me "go away mummy" if I walk into the room they are playing in. If I'm dressing her for the walk she will request that NH does it instead. I don't stop them and it's now turned into them playing together just after her nap because if I ask whether she wants to go outside, DD will say no she wants to play at home with NH rather than go with me to the park or do anything with me...

@hangingonfordearlife1 can you link to the bit about ivf because I’ve looked again and can’t see it? Either way we don’t know how much that would cost of what it would entail for OP

i live in middle east

@hangingonfordearlife1 and you think domestic help is rare? Really?

She's not terminally ill. If she was, she'd be highly unlikely to be seeking IVF for unexplained infertility...

We don't know what the medical issue is, save for it not being incompatible with starting a pregnancy (so almost certainly not cancer), or her being able to take her child out and about.

The idea of a nanny housekeeper when you are a SAHM it's definitely a luxury, but equally for some disabled mums might be the only way they can manage. I'm not getting those vibes here, but frankly her reasons for having help aren't our business being nosyness.

I'm also assuming she's not in the UK given how she's given no indication of good privileged she is for being able to afford help, and her worries about affording IVF whilst simultaneously having the NH.

She doesn’t have to be ill or disabled to get help in! If that’s how they choose to spend their money then that’s fine.

God yes. My robot hoover is my absolute favourite family member. OP you seem to have a lovely, very lucky life, I certainly feel a bit envious. Could I suggest getting to know your housekeeper a bit better and her life, after all she's a person with worries too. Maybe she worries she has to have that great connection with your daughter to keep you happy and keep her job? Ultimately if your daughter knows you love her, you're relationship will be just fine.

No you stop it you flirt ! 😍😍