Getting parents to help out so me and DH can have a weekend away

[harveyluna789]

When I became pregnant with my first child my parents said they would never babysit as they finally have a life now after child rearing for 20 years - I took it with a bit of jest and thought that maybe when the baby was born they would change their mind but no - they have babysat once for a few hours about 10 yrs ago. Myself and DH are desperate for a child free weekend and don't feel our kids are quite old enough to stay on their own (16 and 14) so we have begged my parents to stay over and just to be a presence in the house and have asked to take my son to an audition 6 miles away(they are in their 70's) but very fit. They go on city breaks and travel all the time - hence the lack of babysitting. My son is autistic and if really pushed he could get to the audition by getting three buses but it would take him 3 hours. He refuses to get a taxi as the whole concept of getting in a car with a stranger freaks him out.There excuse is they are too old to drive him to the other side of town and he will just have to miss it or we don't go on our break!

AIBU to think just put your grandchild first for once? Or do I have to cancel our break so that my son can attend his audition?

I feel so guilty now for even contemplating a weekend away but I really feel me and my DH need this as we have never spent a child free night and possibly I think even a day and we just need a bit of reconnecting time.

Since when was it acceptable to laugh at adults who need to wear continence pads? Or "adult nappies" as you refer to them....

No need to be obtuse. I was being light-hearted about changing elderly parents nappies later on in life. Stop looking to take offence at the slightest thing. That wasn't how it was intended🙄

Separate issue - but have had issues with stress incontinence at times myself so pipe down.

They were honest from the outset regarding babysitting so yes YABU. They made things perfectly clear. Whether you agree with them or not is neither here nor there. It's their life and if they chose to grandparent from a distance then so be it.
In this situation the only person that needs to put your children first is you.

There's also a new thread from the OP about her 17 year old daughter - who is clearly almost 18, because she's going to university in September - not making progress with learning to drive (and the girl's father being an arsehole to her).

I do get irritable when people post threads in which they're economical with the truth to get supportive posts.

You thought it was light hearted? I thought it was a deliberate effort to humiliate an older person.

I wasn't being obtuse, do you even know what that word means?

There's nothing light-hearted about wearing adult incontinence pads or "nappies" as you say. Really there isn't. It takes a 'special' kind of person to think that there is.
You may well of had issues with stress incontinence but have you been in a situation where you've had to wear a continence pad that you were unable to change yourself when it was soiled?

Imagine telling somebody to pipe-down in an open forum. How bizarre.

I found your comment offensive because that's what it was. Ableism is offensive.

Humiliate is the perfect word.

It certainly made me cringe and feel humiliated and I'm only 45, not even an old person yet.
I wouldn't wish for anybody to be in my situation, not even Vettrianofan.
Light-hearted is the last thing I'd call it.

People are strange don't you think....

❤️✨

You are the only person getting upset about it here. Rather than focusing on the OP and topic at hand you choose to pick on other posters instead? What do you get from that exactly? Does it make you feel better not picking at other posts choice of words too?

There's no need to be bullying other posters on a thread. You have made your views clear. Leave it at that. I can delete the post you find offensive it's not a problem (you appear to be in the minority).

No one is allowed to joke about any given topic now. It wasn't meant to be offensive so perhaps take comments in the way that they are intended next time....

I thought it was offensive too- partly because of the mean spiritedness about family dynamics and partly because it's not nice to joke about severe frailty and in continence and just generally disrespectful- who says elderly family would consent to personal care by their child at any time.
Just generally in poor taste and not very nice.

Unless you are in line for a big inheritance I would not bother with them anymore if they are like this

So if there's an inheritance due then the OP accepts it and jogs on? But if not, she doesn't bother with them? Only fly in the ointment is that the parents might not give a stuff what she does anyway (perhaps any money's already going elsewhere).

Go on another weekend? Yes they are very selfish but they did tell you upfront. I would stay and sort your child out

I agree no help me no help you

At a guess I'd say I'm the only person here getting upset over your comment because I'm the only person here who has to wear continence pads aka "nappies".
I can't believe I had to explain that to you and you didn't have enough sense to work it out for yourself.

Of course you can make infantile jokes about anything you like, if you like laughing at incontinent adults then have at it....
But that also means I can be shocked and find your 'sense of humour' highly offensive. Make no mistake, I did take your comment in the way it was intended.

I've got a dark sense of humour myself but I've never found disabilities funny, I'm old fashioned like that I suppose.

Bottom line is it's simply not decent to mock the afflicted. For you to feel you're being bullied for having this explained to you is truly mind boggling.