How to word to my 11 year old nicely why I don't want her having fake nails/eyelashes.

[NoNailsPls]

Just that really.

My 11yo is at school in an area with a lot of very dark fake tan, BIG eyelashes/nails, lip filler mums.

The girls now are therefore getting into the idea of all of this as fashion.

For adults I'm very an each to their own and have friends and colleagues who love all their treatments etc. If she wants to do that with her body when older then that's her decision to make.

However, I really dislike seeing young girls dress like that and don't want my daughter to be trying to achieve that look at this age. (Once she's older her body, her choice, I say this to her.)

But she currently cannot understand why I tell her 'no you can't have acrylic nails at Easter' 'no you can't wear glue on eyelashes outside of the house'

As what I want to say: "I don't want you to look like jail bait' isn't acceptable and I can't think of a diplomatic way to explain to her when half her class see it all as the height of top class fashion.

AIBU for not letting her follow this trend at this age?

If I'm not how do I explain to her without sounding like I'm insulting other parents' choices?

I know we're in for years of this sort of thing so I'm keen to learn some of these tactics in readiness!

Why be shocked at the schools? You should be more shocked at the awful parents that allow it.
I think the poster was meaning she's shocked that there are schools where there are a lot of parents who allow their children to do those things from such a young age.
That's how I interpreted it.

I am not remotely blaming schools. 🙄
I meant schools where there is a mass of children dressing like this. I could have said areas or communities but people were talking about their kids’ friends at school.
Of course it’s the parents.

They wanted them as birthday presents and their mum said yes.

It’s an hyperbolic worst case scenario.

Surprised to see this still getting replies. Thanks all.

Found some pictures online of a 10 year old who got acrylics and had their nail ripped off (picture isn't as gory as it sounds) and that seems to have been met with acceptance.

I have said that I'm fine with varnish etc and she's now seeing that's a reasonable stance.

Surely if there were a time for parental veto that would be it?

They aren’t my children so it isn’t my business. I wouldn’t let my 10 year old have them, he would definitely rip his nail beds off in 5 minutes flat.

Very very well said. Thanks.

Shocking and bordering on abuse actually.

Hi. I’m going through the same thing with my 11 year old. In primary school all her class mates were fake tanning and coming out with eyelashes on. Personally I think they’re too young and it looks awful. My daughter shows me pictures they all put on social media, snap chat etc (now in high school) yr 7. And I really don’t like it they look so young n done up too much wearing next to nothing. I feel it’s a constant battle with her saying no you’re too young I allow make up: minimal. And she’s happy with this but constantly asking to have all this other stuff. It’s really grinding me down saying no and other parents telling me to do let her and I almost say I don’t want her to look like a whore - sorry! But that’s how I feel yes they are growing and these are the new trends as opposed to what we had but I really really don’t like it. Especially when I see pictures of her friends posts! She’s even told me their mums buy them vapes, but it’s ok cuz they’re nicotine free! I really dislike it all and struggling with it all its a constant argument I keep saying she’ll thank me when she’s older or even if she has a daughter of her own. She’s gone to high school and quickly has gone my sweet caring respectful girl she’s all door slamming, eye rolling, attitude, angry, woe is me, ‘chavvy’ (not to offend I had this stage) girl. Who talks to me with so much disrespect and does nothing. And has everything .. minus the mentioned. Please tell me I’m not alone!

100% get it.

I see so many tween girls with OTT false eyelashes/nails.

To be fair I also think it's very unattractive on adults.

At our local (very large and very popular) shopping centre the tans/lips/eyebrows/eyelashes are seemingly trying to outdo one another.

I'm absolutely not in touch with fashion these days as cannot fathom at all how and why these young women think this OTT fakeness looks good?

I'm of course careful not to use such insulting language in front of my DDs as would hate for them to think 'ghoulish' is an appropriate way to describe any young woman despite what I've typed on here.

Can only think it's the Kardashian's etc making it desirable?

One of DDs friends mums said not too long ago amazing she thought all of the local traveller women looked. Seemed such a flip to me from when the Gypsy wedding show was on TV to basically mock them and now it's what's in fashion.