To expect DH to not go to football training?

[mrsfruitloop]

I have a tummy tuck consultation on Friday and DS has football training (DH is an assistant coach) all of the consultations are on a Friday so it means I will never be able to go. DH is refusing to miss any training days to allow me to go to the consultation.

He won’t let my mum come and babysit the kids either as he doesn’t want her at our house apparently.

I feel like he is just doing to to stop me from going! He keeps saying it’s a waste of money and I should be spending it on the kids and our family not myself.

So he’s in debt, he won’t miss a training sessions so you can go to an appointment which is a consultation, not even the procedure, and he won’t allow your mother in the house. You need to leave this relationship - anyone preventing you from going somewhere is controlling.

"He" is not in debt.....they are in debt!

@LuckySantangelo35 as I said, that’s your opinion☺️if this was my MIL I’d see it as if she could get home after an hour I don’t see why she would need to stay the whole night? It’s really not that far.

whilst the rest of her families mental health can be affected by debt? As I said.. it’s not all about her, if family debts need prioritising to benefit the WHOLE family, then her husband should be able to view that opinion..

@CrazyHedgehogLover

but why can’t she stay over?

so you’re saying op should martyr herself for the good of her family and stay miserable with her body?

@LuckySantangelo35 no I never said that😂 I said JOINT debt should be prioritised first.. it’s got to be a JOINT decision for her to have the surgery as obviously she will need care afterwards, if her husband feels this isn’t the right time due to financial reasons she needs to take that on board.

hardly “martyring” herself by expecting her to put money towards a debt she helped rack up🤔.

once they are in a better position financially her husband may agree, all he’s simply mentioned is about the MIL (as I said he’s been a dick in some ways about this) but as for MIL staying over I don’t really see why she would need to only being an hour away, a lot of people feel uncomfortable with things like this, difference of opinions I guess.

and the cost of the procedure (which rightly so joint debt should certainly be prioritised due to interest rates)

and he’s mentioned about having a commitments to football coaching that there son attends so I don’t think he’s unreasonable to request a different date for the consultation..

and he’s mentioned about having a commitments to football coaching that there son attends so I don’t think he’s unreasonable to request a different date for the consultation..

Yes, this isn't something that's really been challenged in the thread.
OP says that she can only go to a consulation at a time that clashes with football on Friday. Really? There is absolutely no option to get a consultation for a tummy tuck at any other time? Or does she just mean it will be more inconvenient for her?

@shepherdsangeldelight yes by this I mean this is her DHs reasoning for not being able to do that day.. I haven’t said it’s been challenged 😂 and yes I agree that’s what I’ve said previously, she could use a different consultant, try and arrange a different time.. like I said just sounds like she’s being stubborn.

@CrazyHedgehogLover

her stomach is the way it is because she had children
now it’s time for her to do something just for herself that will make her feel better

@LuckySantangelo35 yes obviously but as a family and when your married you need to make joint decisions, all her husband is basically saying is right now there is outstanding joint debt which needs prioritising, unfortunately when people have financial commitments they can’t just go off and get a tummy tuck “because she needs something for her”.. if there was no joint debt.. good financial stability and came to a compromise on the appointment schedule (as DH has stated he can’t do that day due to commitments) then yes there would be no problem..

however there is a joint debt which will most likely have interest on.. and OP is refusing to compromise by trying to look for a different consultant thy will provide more flexibility with the appointment schedules..

at this time her family should come first financially imo, obviously that’s the whole point of a forum so OP can gain different perspectives, you have yours.. I have mine ☺️

@CrazyHedgehogLover

but realistically when will the day be that the family aren’t the financial priority ??

@LuckySantangelo35 this just seems pointless😂 I’ve already said.. once the joint debt is cleared then obviously fair enough to plan on the surgery then as joint debt would have been dealt with.. for now, the debt is joint, you can’t just pick and choose when you want to pay for something when it comes to debt.

its both of there responsibility so the money should be going towards that.

i really don’t know how it’s so hard to understand? Someone wouldn’t be able to ring up a debt company and go “oh hold off! I want a tummy tuck so can I postpone my payments?” Very unrealistic..

That's what I mean. They would hardly have cause for celebration lol